What would your first words on Everton be upon joining?

The binman chronicles

Player Valuation: £70m
Oh my god I'm so happy to have signed at Everton, you should see how much money I have fleeced out of them per week. Literally thought that now Steve Walsh has gone that they wouldn't be burning money like this, but no.

I just want to let all my fans know that I can't wait to get started on the hookers and blow.

Andy van der Meyde and Royston Drenthe are my absolute footballing heroes. I want to follow in their footsteps and do as little as possible while I'm here.

Peace out. Mic drop.

tim cahill

Player Valuation: £70m
“I remember when Everton were a great club. Now they’re signing players of my quality it’s clear that they can longer be taken seriously at all. Relegation is a certainty.”


Staff member
don't understand why what he said caused outrage.
Me neither. He just said exactly what every other player we sign are told to say
It didn’t to most normal thinking people.

However, a few twitter reds, who despite their recent success, have been increasingly obsessed with our summer signings, appear to have taken umbrage at an Everton player’s enthusiasm upon joining.

I’m taking that as a good sign.


Player Valuation: £25m
..Ever since the reign of Bobby Brown Shoes, the mythical 72 points, and the shushing of the Park end, Mino and I have dreamt of me pulling on the Umbro tunic. I will give my hole for this proud club - until about March, when hopefully a bigger club will come sniffing.

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