What is up with Dele Alli?

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Should not be here, end of the day. I am all for helping him, but not helping him get fit so he plays for us. which i think it seems is what they seem to be planning
 

He needs to pass the Everton fitness test where you swim through several shark tanks wearing speedos made of herring, train for 6 months with some Tibetan Monks who solely use their hands to walk around before finally being dropped in Seville and being told you have 4 days to get to Ulaanbaatar with no money or passport.

Then and only then can he get on the pitch and be absolutely gassed after 12 minutes like every single other player in the squad.
 

He needs to pass the Everton fitness test where you swim through several shark tanks wearing speedos made of herring, train for 6 months with some Tibetan Monks who solely use their hands to walk around before finally being dropped in Seville and being told you have 4 days to get to Ulaanbaatar with no money or passport.

Then and only then can he get on the pitch and be absolutely gassed after 12 minutes like every single other player in the squad.
All a bit new age for Sgt Major Dyche.
Think he’s still on the ½ marathon over Formby dunes every day for 2 weeks, carrying a 2.8l Ford Capri engine, followed by a stint at the Altcar assault course to where you have to stay until you can complete in under 2 mins to get released.
Then and only then, are you allowed to practice blitzkrieg with a ball under Woany and Stoney.
The he’ll be allowed back on the grass to do the hard yards and dirty work to prove he’s ‘fit fit’, what Dyche calls premier league fit,
 
All a bit new age for Sgt Major Dyche.
Think he’s still on the ½ marathon over Formby dunes every day for 2 weeks, carrying a 2.8l Ford Capri engine, followed by a stint at the Altcar assault course to where you have to stay until you can complete in under 2 mins to get released.
Then and only then, are you allowed to practice blitzkrieg with a ball under Woany and Stoney.
The he’ll be allowed back on the grass to do the hard yards and dirty work to prove he’s ‘fit fit’, what Dyche calls premier league fit,
You forgot the 2 years of national service you disgusting casual
 

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