The Lib Dems and Greens 'forgetting' some paperwork in Richmond ahead of the Election is an opportunity to do the funniest thing ever (and make history).
That would knock Portillo into the proverbial cocked hat, watching PM Rishi standing like a lemon on stage watching *checks notes* Tom Wilson delivering a victory speech.
But, I'm getting greedy. There are just too many polls predicting double digit Tory seats, it's incredible.
I know the correct thing to do is be cautious, but honestly, I really don't see where their votes are coming from. However you want to slice the country up, you can find a reason for pretty much any voting group to at least consider abandoning them. Even the rural local pub die-hards are sitting around sobbing into their pints over Boris still. The millionnaire classes are watching their beloved Tories preside over the highest tax burden in history. The Racist Right are watching a brown-skinned PM fail to deal with literal boat-loads of foreigners turning up on our beaches. Doctors and lawyers have been on strike. Homeowners with a mortgage, often closet Tories, might still have a Truss polaroid on their dartboard. Right wing media outlets have launched in the years since the last election, and rather than act as cheerleaders they constantly complain that the Tories just aren't Conservative enough! And in the middle of it all, the sad remnants of the 2019 Red Wall Tory vote, wondering where their Levelling Up cash went.
Not to mention anybody who lost a friend or family member during lockdown whilst the No 10 Covid parties raged into the night. Or anybody losing their livelihood through Brexit.
If there was any justice after their 14 years in power, they'd be staring down the barrel of a 3rd place finish at best. It's not just been flawed decisions they thought were justified, it's been wilful destruction of of the nation's prospects, of societal cohesion, and of the Social Contract. If any party deserved to get the shoes it's them, and whilst I never make predictions, I have to ask: If not now, then when?