Things more enjoyable than watching Everton under allardyce

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I had a tooth extraction recorded last year, It’s horrific. I sooner watch that and relive the trauma than watch another game under Sam Allardyce
 
Watching your ex looking amazing picking up blokes left right and centre whilst you can’t even get a fatty.
 
Watching an opera consisting entirely of fat ladies whie eating ASDA's quinoa, pomegranate seed and cauliflower salad pot from their "diet" range, with your seat directly above a broken drain.

And then looking up into the box and seeing the school c0kwomble necking with your childhood crush.
 
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