Current Affairs The Conservative Party

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Absolutely howling at this

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Who's in the back with Branson?
 
If my instinct is to drink half a bottle of whiskey and then drive my car just to check that I am OK to drive that will be fine then. I don't have a young child but I might be able to borrow one just to make sure I am not breaking any laws.
 
When he stopped on his way home and him and his wife went into the woods were he saw some people but he didn't speak to them. He was dogging, wasn't he.
If he had come straight out and said "the wife's a bit of a minger so I thought I might palm her off on someone, couldn't face telling them I took her on when I was in the best of health so I told them my eye sight was bad" I would have had some sympathy for him.
 
I am going to take of my glasses and see if I can drive. Just as a test.

Instinct. You never know when I might lose or break my glasses.
 
If one thing comes from all this, it’s that the Cummings legend as a Mastermind, political mega-brain is now in pieces. He’s just a dumb opportunist narcissist. I used to tell better lies when I was 5.
 
If one thing comes from all this, it’s that the Cummings legend as a Mastermind, political mega-brain is now in pieces. He’s just a dumb opportunist narcissist. I used to tell better lies when I was 5.
That's exactly what I thought. I'd never heard him speak before and was expecting something God-like having just listened to Sky News' Jon Craig fawning about the man's genius and then we were treated to an hour of an infant being questioned by every teacher in the school about drawing a knob on the headmaster's door and him denying all accusations despite having pink paint all over his hands and face.
 
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