So you're now in charge. What would you do for the remaining games?

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Street end man

Player Valuation: £500k
Thinking about it more now my first thing would be to ask Unsworth to pick his finest 11, and then arrange a game at Goodison whilst we have a fortnight spare with no games. I'd make the 11 sheep of war who got bullied out of the FA Cup by Millwall face them in front of a paying crowd at £10 quid a ticket.

That would then let myself and the directors know what we are dealing with depending on the game and the result.

Verbal Kint

Player Valuation: £20m
Kenny Zouma Mina Digne
Gomes Gueye Davies
Bernard Tosun Rich

Publicly berate the corrupt oaf that we hired last season at every opportunity. And the RS.

Let Siri take the post match press questions whilst I have a beer and stare at them all
I stopped looking when you had Virginia instead of Pickford.

Dwight K Schrute

Player Valuation: £500k
Screenshot_20190210-154759_Samsung Internet.jpg

Play this, realise it's still absolutely horrible to look at but hope that it will be enough to see us scrape over the line. Use back 5 to negate defensive frailties, hope that whilst hardly Bobby Moore, Jagielka would be vocal enough to organise the defence. Use 2 men up top to stretch a defence. Bernard to give some guile in the middle. Get fullbacks to work their socks off.

If momentum and energy is below par, bring on McCarthy and/or Davies to boost energy levels and aggression. Bring on Lookman and/or Richarlison to stretch game later on. Look back on the 9 points the team would have accrued by the end of the season, smile knowing that it's more than Silva would have managed and then cry salt tears at how many bad players play for my club. Then look forward to my multi-million pound pay-off for firefighting. Probably go dancing in Benidorm and then maybe see if beIN sports need a pundit next season.


Player Valuation: £950k
Sell all the players then get sacked for playing the youth team and the club finishing 17th. I would then take my big fat payoff and join Sam in the Bahamas just in time for the pie dunking contest.


Player Valuation: £25m
bring back Mason and Beni into the squad, play 2 upfront , stop richarlison antics, move big Dunc out, we aren't great up front,at the end of the day , employ a complete defensive coaching team, Get part of the championship team in and around the players to realise how important this club is to the fans.


Player Valuation: £2.5m
Coleman Mina Zouma Digne
Davies Gomes
Bernard Richarlison

(Would aim to have Coleman and Digne overlapping whenever possible with Bernard and Richarlison coming in-field and making runs in behind with Sigurdsson playing a kind of false nine role using his technical ability to provide for Bernard and Rich)
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