Darth Toffeeman
Player Valuation: £40m
Its true, all the quotes are from the player. Just cant link it.
In brief, his foot was gashed by James Vaughan against Sunderland, blood everywhere. Everton gave him 8 stitches, and was supposed to be out for 3 weeks. Koeman was desperate, and rushed him back after 10 days.
Then after the 5 2 Arsenal game, it swelled back up, and given meds. Unsie, was desperate for results, and played him a week after he left hospital, playing with painkillers and over sized boots. Against Southampton, had a reaction to the meds, and went wonky.
Then against United, someone stamped on the old injury, and it burst open again. Only near the end of Fat Sams time did it all heal properly.
Last season was like we had entered some hellish time loop that took us back to the Walter Smith era.









