Man in the Pub feeling very downhearted, The barman asks whats wrong?
" Its my bloody wife I think she's having an affair ". So the Barman asks well what are you going to do about it?
" I love to kill the Bitch, but I wouldn't want to do the time, if I got caught "
So the Barman suggests he talk to Artie, a rough looking musclehead with tattoos and piercing, after explaining his problem with Artie, the solution is found, Artie will kill his wife and because Artie hates women so much, he agrees to do the job for just one pound.
So the arrangement is made, Artie will strangle the mans wife next Saturday morning at Tescos, when she is doing the weekly shop.
So Saturday arrives and the man rings Artie to make sure he's in place and to tell Artie, that his wife is 35yrs, 5ft 6",blonde hair, and is wearing a light blue tracksuit.
So Artie gets into position is some bushes in Tesco's Carpark and waits, soon after he see's a woman leaving the store pushing a trolley, and she matches the description given. So without delay he creeps up behind her, drags her into the bushes and strangles her to death.
Just as he thought the job was done he see's another woman, wearing a similar tracksuit and with similar hair, age, etc. Fearing he has killed the wrong woman, Artie grabs this woman to, and she meets the same fate as the first.
Sadly for Artie he doesn't make it to far before being caught by the Police, and arrested for double murder.
So as you can imagine, the two killings hit all the local and National papers next morning all the front pages, covered with the gross details, one paper simply had the following headline.
" Artie chokes, two for a pound at Tesco's "
" Its my bloody wife I think she's having an affair ". So the Barman asks well what are you going to do about it?
" I love to kill the Bitch, but I wouldn't want to do the time, if I got caught "
So the Barman suggests he talk to Artie, a rough looking musclehead with tattoos and piercing, after explaining his problem with Artie, the solution is found, Artie will kill his wife and because Artie hates women so much, he agrees to do the job for just one pound.
So the arrangement is made, Artie will strangle the mans wife next Saturday morning at Tescos, when she is doing the weekly shop.
So Saturday arrives and the man rings Artie to make sure he's in place and to tell Artie, that his wife is 35yrs, 5ft 6",blonde hair, and is wearing a light blue tracksuit.
So Artie gets into position is some bushes in Tesco's Carpark and waits, soon after he see's a woman leaving the store pushing a trolley, and she matches the description given. So without delay he creeps up behind her, drags her into the bushes and strangles her to death.
Just as he thought the job was done he see's another woman, wearing a similar tracksuit and with similar hair, age, etc. Fearing he has killed the wrong woman, Artie grabs this woman to, and she meets the same fate as the first.
Sadly for Artie he doesn't make it to far before being caught by the Police, and arrested for double murder.
So as you can imagine, the two killings hit all the local and National papers next morning all the front pages, covered with the gross details, one paper simply had the following headline.
" Artie chokes, two for a pound at Tesco's "
