Jokes Thread


A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde?), picked up the phone, listened for a moment and said...
'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife said, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
 
Staff Party!

Bill woke up after the annual office Christmas party.

He had a pounding headache, was cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

“Samantha" he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn.

"You made a complete **** of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the Chairman of the company, right to his face."

"He's an ars*******," Bill said, "I could pi*** on him."

"You did," came the reply, “And he fired you."

"Well, f*** him then" said Bill.

"I did" said Samantha, "You're back at work on Monday.

I'm not having you hanging around the house all day.”
 

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
 
Cellardweller said:
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
Click to expand...
Haha. You must be the pie man, do you know Simon. ?
 


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