Because MJ was 70% plastic anyway, that when he died they turned him into a Rubik's cube, so kids could play with him for a change.
Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
Ah, see what you did there
How about this?
Why did the Frenchman cross the road? Because there was a German on the other side of the road and he wanted to surrender!!!
Eh?
Eh??
Eh???
Why did the Frenchman cross the road? Because there was a German on the other side of the road and he wanted to surrender!!!
Eh?
Eh??
Eh???
Brendan Janus
Player Valuation: £40m
I thought he saw a rainbow on the other side of the road !
Man gets an I love you tattoo on his penis.
He shows his girlfriend who shakes her head and says 'you're trying to put words in my mouth again?'
He shows his girlfriend who shakes her head and says 'you're trying to put words in my mouth again?'
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
SantaClausisanEvertonian
Player Valuation: £10m
A friend of mine slipped on a broken vacuum cleaner and it got lodged up his arse.
He's been in hospital for a few days but he's picking up now.
He's been in hospital for a few days but he's picking up now.
A joke is like a frog. When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.
Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
A series of bodies have been found. All of the victims were found in plain white T-shirts.
Police can find no sign of a motif.
Police can find no sign of a motif.
I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA.
Should look cool on my black jeep.
Should look cool on my black jeep.
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
Every Sunday morning I go out and do two hours of bell ringing.
All my friends take the mickey out of me for having such a strange hobby, but I find it very therapeutic.
It seems to annoy the bus driver a bit though.
All my friends take the mickey out of me for having such a strange hobby, but I find it very therapeutic.
It seems to annoy the bus driver a bit though.
Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!
The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!”
Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!
The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!”
Milk
Udderly delicious
Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot is sat on the bank of the river Seine with his girlfriend Nicole,the sun is blazing and they are , enjoying a picnic .
As they are sat on the blanket, Pierre starts kissing her lips. He reaches into the picnic basket and pulls out a bottle of red wine , he opens it and gently raises it to Nicoles lips , and beckons her to have a drink.
He says " i am Pierre ze femous French fighter pilot, and when i av red meat i must av wiz it red wine "
"oh Pierre, purrs Nicole "go lower"
So Pierre kisses her chin, then down her neck, and eventually ends up at her ample bosom. He starts gently caressing and kissing her breasts and as she lies back , he again reaches into the picnic basket , takes out a bottle of white wine, opens it and gently pours some drops on her chest, he then continues kissing her boobs,
Nicole again moans with pleasure and exclaims "Oh, Pierre"
" i am Pierre ze femous French fighter pilot, and when i av white meat i must av wiz it white wine"
" Please, Pierre go lower. go lower" Nicole replies.
Pierre then starts moving down to her stomach, her torso then lifts her dress, his head disappears underneath as she writhes with pleasure, and closes her eyes and lies back.
Pierre again puts his hand in the picnic basket, takes out a bottle of brandy, pours it on her nether regions, he then takes out his lighter and sets fire to the brandy,
" Jesus Christ, Pierre" screams NIcole , whilst trying to extinguish the flames by beating away furiously with her hands " what the f*** do you think your are doing" she yells
Pierre, sits straight up, raises his nose and declares
" i am Pierre ze femous French fighter pilot, and when i go down. I GO DOWN IN FLAMES"
As they are sat on the blanket, Pierre starts kissing her lips. He reaches into the picnic basket and pulls out a bottle of red wine , he opens it and gently raises it to Nicoles lips , and beckons her to have a drink.
He says " i am Pierre ze femous French fighter pilot, and when i av red meat i must av wiz it red wine "
"oh Pierre, purrs Nicole "go lower"
So Pierre kisses her chin, then down her neck, and eventually ends up at her ample bosom. He starts gently caressing and kissing her breasts and as she lies back , he again reaches into the picnic basket , takes out a bottle of white wine, opens it and gently pours some drops on her chest, he then continues kissing her boobs,
Nicole again moans with pleasure and exclaims "Oh, Pierre"
" i am Pierre ze femous French fighter pilot, and when i av white meat i must av wiz it white wine"
" Please, Pierre go lower. go lower" Nicole replies.
Pierre then starts moving down to her stomach, her torso then lifts her dress, his head disappears underneath as she writhes with pleasure, and closes her eyes and lies back.
Pierre again puts his hand in the picnic basket, takes out a bottle of brandy, pours it on her nether regions, he then takes out his lighter and sets fire to the brandy,
" Jesus Christ, Pierre" screams NIcole , whilst trying to extinguish the flames by beating away furiously with her hands " what the f*** do you think your are doing" she yells
Pierre, sits straight up, raises his nose and declares
" i am Pierre ze femous French fighter pilot, and when i go down. I GO DOWN IN FLAMES"
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