Jokes Thread

[Walter Ego]

I think someone is trying to kill me. They keep pushing plastic bags through my letter box but crossing out the bit were it says don't put it over your head!

 

[tim gabbott]

That's possible the worst joke ever.

Check the plastic bag one out

 

[tim gabbott]

A Japanese couple are arguing about the best way to perform highly erotic sex.

"Sukitaki, mojitaka..." says the husband.
"Kowanini !! Mowi janakpa!!" exclaims the wife.
The angry husband responds with, "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!!"
The wife, now on her knees literally begs... "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji."
The now furious husband shout, "Na miaou kina Tim kouji !!"

Hang on a minute...

I really can't believe you're reading this... none of you know Japanese...

You'll read absolutely anything as long as it's about sex...

Sometimes I worry about you lot, you need serious help.

Most of your jokes are about sex

 

[AndyC]

Most of your jokes are about sex

I post 'em, you read 'em, you laugh and my job is done... everybody's happy

 

[Frank Gallagher]

I think someone is trying to kill me. They keep pushing plastic bags through my letter box but crossing out the bit were it says don't put it over your head!

what?

 

[larbert toffee]

A Japanese couple are arguing about the best way to perform highly erotic sex.

"Sukitaki, mojitaka..." says the husband.
"Kowanini !! Mowi janakpa!!" exclaims the wife.
The angry husband responds with, "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!!"
The wife, now on her knees literally begs... "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji."
The now furious husband shout, "Na miaou kina Tim kouji !!"

Hang on a minute...

I really can't believe you're reading this... none of you know Japanese...

You'll read absolutely anything as long as it's about sex...

Sometimes I worry about you lot, you need serious help.

I can speak fluent Japanese "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji." means 'wrong hole'.

 

[tommye]

I can speak fluent Japanese "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji." means 'wrong hole'.

What does 'wrong hole' mean though?

 

[larbert toffee]

What does 'wrong hole' mean though?

Wrong hole means "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji."

 

[kev]

What does 'wrong hole' mean though?

"Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji." Your welcome @tommye

Damn you @larbert toffee

 

[larbert toffee]

I think someone is trying to kill me. They keep pushing plastic bags through my letter box but crossing out the bit were it says don't put it over your head!

They probably read your last joke Walter.

 

[Ducans elbow]

I've just started a new job as a church bell ringer. It's my first day so they're just showing me the ropes.

The daft ones are the beat ones

 

[kev]

I met my wife in China


I said "What the Hell are you doing here"

 

[larbert toffee]

I met my wife in China


I said "What the Hell are you doing here"

She replied " I am working here in the sauna what the feck are you doing in here!"

 

[kev]

She replied " I am working here in the sauna what the feck are you doing in here!"

I work here too !

 

[Kurt.]

The man who invented Tetris died last week. .. they buried him today and the whole row of graves disappeared.