Jokes Thread

kev · November 17, 2016

Have to laugh at people moaning about the cold here.
Over in Motown it's usually 3 degrees, or 4 tops.

Paul w · November 17, 2016

kev said:
Have to laugh at people moaning about the cold here.
Over in Motown it's usually 3 degrees, or 4 tops.

That's possible the worst joke ever.

Kurt. · November 17, 2016

kev said:
Have to laugh at people moaning about the cold here.
Over in Motown it's usually 3 degrees, or 4 tops.

pinching that haha

kev · November 17, 2016

kev said:
Have to laugh at people moaning about the cold here.
Over in Motown it's usually 3 degrees, or 4 tops.

This may not be true as I have never actually been to Motown.
I heard it on the grapevine

larbert toffee · November 17, 2016

kev said:
This may not be true as I have never actually been to Motown.
I heard it on the grapevine

I'm laughing so much I have the tears of a clown.

summerisle · November 18, 2016

What's the difference between Man City and my oven ?
My oven is fan assisted.

summerisle · November 18, 2016

I satisfaction Michael J Fox at the garden centre yesterday.
He had his back to the fuchsias.

Paul w · November 18, 2016

Paul w said:
That's possible the worst joke ever.

larbert toffee said:
I'm laughing so much I have the tears of a clown.

Stop..in the name of love

Rsoles · November 19, 2016

My wife went missing a week ago
Today the police told me to expect the worst so I guess tomorrow I'm off back down to the oxfam
store to get all her clothes back

Rsoles · November 19, 2016

A man calls 999 and says I think my wife is dead. The operator says what makes you think your wife is dead ?The man says well the sex is the same but the ironing is piling up.

Rsoles · November 19, 2016

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers so I did her name is Linda and she is 18

Rsoles · November 19, 2016

I was discussing reincarnation with my wife and I told her when you come back it has to be as a different creature . She said I would like to come back as a cow
I said you obviously haven't been listening closely to me have you

AndyC · November 21, 2016

A Japanese couple are arguing about the best way to perform highly erotic sex.

"Sukitaki, mojitaka..." says the husband.
"Kowanini !! Mowi janakpa!!" exclaims the wife.
The angry husband responds with, "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!!"
The wife, now on her knees literally begs... "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji."
The now furious husband shout, "Na miaou kina Tim kouji !!"

Hang on a minute...

I really can't believe you're reading this... none of you know Japanese...

You'll read absolutely anything as long as it's about sex...

Sometimes I worry about you lot, you need serious help.

Rsoles · November 21, 2016

A fella came knocking at my door and said would I like to contribute to the floods at anfield .I said sorry fella my garden hose only stretches to the end of my garden .

summerisle · November 21, 2016

AndyC said:
A Japanese couple are arguing about the best way to perform highly erotic sex.

"Sukitaki, mojitaka..." says the husband.
"Kowanini !! Mowi janakpa!!" exclaims the wife.
The angry husband responds with, "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!!"
The wife, now on her knees literally begs... "Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji."
The now furious husband shout, "Na miaou kina Tim kouji !!"

Hang on a minute...

I really can't believe you're reading this... none of you know Japanese...

You'll read absolutely anything as long as it's about sex...

Sometimes I worry about you lot, you need serious help.

I don't blame the women, Chang is awful.