Jokes Thread

[Kurt.]

Do you think anyone has been to see Placebo .. thinking it was The Cure ?

 

[Tommy Chong]

 

[Milk]

I identify as a chocolate bar

My pronouns are her/she

 

[Vintage]

I identify as a chocolate bar

My pronouns are her/she

Ah that gives me an idea for a crap joke

I identify as a donkey

My pronouns are he/haw

 

[Milk]

I was trying to explain Tiswas to my young son.

"Google 'Sally James creampied'," I told him. "....on second thoughts, don't."

 

[MaximusEvertonius]

Ah that gives me an idea for a crap joke

I identify as a donkey

My pronouns are he/haw

I laughed at this way more than I expected

 

[Milk]

When I got home I found a note from my wife saying she had gone out for a few drinks with her mates and that she had left me some dinner that just needed reheating.
As soon as I shut the door on the microwave and set the timer to 3 minutes I heard her come crashing through the front door pissed out of her face, she stumbled into the kitchen and demanded sex right there.
After some foreplay, I f****d her over the kitchen table and we ended up spooning on the floor out of breath and sweating.
"Wow, you've never lasted that long before," she giggled.

As I lay there with a smug grin on my face and feeling like a sex god, there was a sudden 'PING' from the microwave and my dinner was ready!

 

[summerisle]

 

[Kurt.]

What do you call an Italian beggar ?

Giovanni change …

 

[canuckblue]

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?
























Rick O'Shea

 

[canuckblue]

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only two, but the real question is how they got in there in the first place.

 

[Milk]

My wife left me because she said I'm tactless, hurtful and the toothpaste on my cock was the last straw.

 

[Sarnia Kevin]

 

[Sarnia Kevin]

 

[anton66]

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