Jokes Thread

Kurt. · October 18, 2018

Socrates said:
Les Dawson, I believe.

Odd name for a cat

summerisle · October 18, 2018

I hate my job as a waiter.
But it puts food on the table.

What do you call a bee that can't make up it's mind ?
Maybe.

Groucho · October 18, 2018

Socrates said:
Les Dawson, I believe.

Ken Dodd

BlueIsTheColour · October 19, 2018

The guy who stole my diary has died.

My thoughts are with his family

TyphooToffee · October 19, 2018

BlueIsTheColour said:
The guy who stole my diary has died.

My thoughts are with his family

I was going to post a laugh emoji but it's not working

TyphooToffee · October 19, 2018

chrismpw said:
I hired an expensive limousine but didn’t realise the price didn’t include a driver.

£300 spent and nothing to show for it.

I didn't get that at first. It's better said than written.

TyphooToffee · October 19, 2018

Frank: "I wish I'd listened to the advice my dad gave me all those years ago"

Bob: "Why, what did he say?"

Frank: "I don't know, I wasn't listening"

chrismpw · October 20, 2018

TyphooToffee said:
I didn't get that at first. It's better said than written.

Same here....

kev · October 20, 2018

TyphooToffee said:
I didn't get that at first. It's better said than written.

chrismpw said:
Same here....

OK I'll admit it, that took me much longer than it should :blush:

lol

Lickle eric · October 20, 2018

kev said:
OK I'll admit it, that took me much longer than it should lol

I still dont get it.

chrismpw · October 20, 2018

Lickle eric said:
I still dont get it.

Show for it = chauffeur it.

Lickle eric · October 20, 2018

chrismpw said:
Show for it = chauffeur it.

Oh yeah.ta mate.

ushuduup · October 20, 2018

Have you heard about the new drug craze in Yorkshire?
Apparently, to get a bigger high, they dissolve ecstasy and inject in just above their teeth....

...they call it E by gum!