Hahahaha.......full text.....
It's not what Stevie G does, it's what he is and what those who are not Stevie G are not
These are huge times not just for Liverpool Football Club and the people of Liverpool who follow Her with the pride and passion only the one true Football Club in this country deserves. These are huge times for humanity the like of which we have not seen since Bread was cancelled after a mere 12 series. Devastating. The River Mersey has quite literally been drained. Jimmy Tarbuck has finally said something unfunny. Imagine if The Beatles left Liverpool - that's how unthinkable it is that Steven Gerrard, our Stevie, Stevie G is to quit the club so soon after making his debut as a foetus coming on as a supersub in a glorious midweek quarter final UEFA Cup 2-2 draw against formidable Belgian part-timers FC Journeymanns. No one in the world has forgotten That Night In Anfield. No one ever will so long as we walk tall.
Emotions. First, the betrayal. As Cilla Black would say, "How could you?" And in making his decision to go off to that America it is quite literally as if he were urinating directly into "Our Cilla"s mouth and jeering "Gargle, bitch, gargle!" as he waved his pissing cock in her face. And yet also, the pride. Stevie G, one of our own, cut him and his blood runs red, the sort of player who the late, great Bill Shankly (Beatify him NOW!) was thinking of when he said, "A footballer's nae use if he only has two legs. He needs the rest of his body and his head too." So, so true. So wise. Or as the very great Bob Paisley said, "I'm going home and I'm going to have a cup of tea. Just a cup of tea. Aye, a cup of tea."
Pride and heart. So yes, Stevie G, you can piss your cock in our faces all you like. For that last minute goal against Olympiakos you can piss your cock in or faces. For that last minute goal against West Ham you can piss your cock in our faces. Yeah, I can hear the woolybacks now laughing about that time you slipped and the other lot scored and that other time when you slipped and the other lot scored and that other time, and the other time and the time after that, especially after you'd made that passionate speech; "Now's not the time to slip on our arses in our own halves! Come 'ed! We've won notton'! Do it for Nerys!" But anyone can slip over 20 times in their career at vital stages in the match. That's what happens when you walk tall on the pitch. You fall over easier.
Guts and shirt. So what now? Well, first, we should retire the letter "G" in Stevie's honour. Which would make Glen Johnson Len Johnson and Brendan Rodgers Brendan Roders and Jon Flanagan Jon Flanaan. Also we should organise a 21 football salute in which Stevie gets to cannon 21 footballs high and hard to no one in particular and often sailing out of the stadium altogether. Lastly, I think everyone agrees the city of Liverpool should be renamed Steven Gerrard - or Steven Errard as it would be from now on. Passion! Pride! Tom O' Connor!
