Robin Sisland
Player Valuation: £5m
Everton Friday unveiled their new signing, Embargo.
Embargo, who is believed to be of South American origin with Spanish roots last year took Russian nationality and having recently finished his military service in Georgia is now eligible to play in Europe.
Originally fielded in a defensive role Embargo is equally at home as a stopper, a no nonsense blocker or for delivering last minute crunching tackles on advancing attackers.
A protégé of legendary Russian coach Nikita Kruschev, Embargo is one of his adopted country’s most accomplished users of his mentor’s, ‘Njet technique’, a simple yet highly effective blocking tackle designed to dissuade further interlocution on pain of an immediate transfer to mid table Siberian side Archipelago Gulag.
It is expected that Embargo will be employed in a variety of roles by an Everton board desperate to inject some reality into their ongoing policy of unclearly un-signing existing players, not signing available players and offering unrealistically low fees for unavailable players from teams unlikely to be any less than unimpressed.
Embargo, who is believed to be of South American origin with Spanish roots last year took Russian nationality and having recently finished his military service in Georgia is now eligible to play in Europe.
Originally fielded in a defensive role Embargo is equally at home as a stopper, a no nonsense blocker or for delivering last minute crunching tackles on advancing attackers.
A protégé of legendary Russian coach Nikita Kruschev, Embargo is one of his adopted country’s most accomplished users of his mentor’s, ‘Njet technique’, a simple yet highly effective blocking tackle designed to dissuade further interlocution on pain of an immediate transfer to mid table Siberian side Archipelago Gulag.
It is expected that Embargo will be employed in a variety of roles by an Everton board desperate to inject some reality into their ongoing policy of unclearly un-signing existing players, not signing available players and offering unrealistically low fees for unavailable players from teams unlikely to be any less than unimpressed.