Everton transfer window - disaster scenario

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Farhad Moshiri and Usmanov are both arrested for smuggling Columbia's finest and both given the death penalty. Soon after Everton are put on sale as going concern but with huge debts.

John Henry buys the club for £3.50 and immediately puts us in red shirts and renames us Liverpool B. All first teamers are sold in January and the Goodison make over is completed to paint everything blue red. The new co. suffer successive relegations until they play in the local area Sunday League. And just to make sure we can't forget, every year on July 25th there is a regatta on BM dock where at the end of the night a blue ship complete with effigies of our former owners, is set on fire and sunk.
 
Flown down from Frankfurt to Alicante after the Mainz practice games. So it's holiday time for me, thank god, as this place has gone stir crazy. Enjoy the summer lads, chill out and see what Santa brings us.
 
63676
 
Worst outcome. we get fat Jimmy from the local Sunday League team. OK, he is 43 and 20 stone, and drinks 6 pints before a game, but no fecker gets past him.
 

The binman chronicles said:
Farhad Moshiri and Usmanov are both arrested for smuggling Columbia's finest and both given the death penalty. Soon after Everton are put on sale as going concern but with huge debts.

John Henry buys the club for £3.50 and immediately puts us in red shirts and renames us Liverpool B. All first teamers are sold in January and the Goodison make over is completed to paint everything blue red. The new co. suffer successive relegations until they play in the local area Sunday League. And just to make sure we can't forget, every year on July 25th there is a regatta on BM dock where at the end of the night a blue ship complete with effigies of our former owners, is set on fire and sunk.
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lol lol lol
 
orly said:
Hello frandelinos

Bit mad in the Transfer Window thread and generous (and kind) site owner Mr @GrandOldTeam .com has suggested we start more threads.

What is your (moderately realistic so no nuclear weapon hitting Finch Farm ffs) transfer window disaster scenario from this point onwards?

My run of events would be:

- we sell Gana tomorrow
- fail to get a replacement
- knowing we have £52m+ other targets suddenly become grossly overpriced and we shrewdly decide not to pay a premium
- Marco Ssssssilva reacts to tonight's statement by starting Niasse, Davies, DCL, Walcott, Pennington and Fraser-Lewis Hornby in the final pre-season game
- we get pumped 5-0 and Coleman and Digne are injured
-Marco resigns in a huff
-Rico, hearing about a Barca / United bid and separated from Silva, agitates for a move and gets it
- kean signs a new deal at Juve
- DCL keeps the number 9 and signs a five year deal.

All hypothetical but surely more likely than us signing 5 quality new players in 9 days?

Have YOUR say below.
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Mods; Move to Panic Thread please...but until then -

Brands has more than a Dozen Players to get rid of, many nobody will buy due to excessive wages. £700,000 per week tied up in 'deadmens' wages is the current estimate.
Edit; *goes outon limb...The knees will stop jerking, the beds will remain dry when we do over Palace at a canter. 1-3 to us.
You heard it here first.

Then normal service will be resumed when Watford do us over at home
 

coollino said:
Eggs repeats the final days rumours forever at 6:59am, gets 32 likes and it leads to 26 of the likers being single as they forgot to say good morning to their new born child.
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Gonna hold my hand up and admit I've never read a single word of any of his updates.
Soz @Eggs but there's enough guff posted here without the need for a daily guff update.

Just let us know when we've signed someone xxx
 
as it stands without any new signings this is how we are likely to line up against Crystal Palace

Pickford
Coleman
Keane
Mina
Digne
Gomes
Delph
Walcott
Sigurdsson
Bernard
Calvert-Lewin

Richy won't be thrown in straightaway because he's played in the Copa America over the summer

bench is likely to look like this

Lossl, Holgate, Tosun, Baines, Davies, Schneiderlin, Richarlison
 
My disaster scenario:
  • Mirallas, Bolasie, Niasse, McCarthy all stay,
  • No new striker (who is at least 3x better than DCL) is brought in,
  • Gueye goes and no replacement is immediately brought in (would suggest we're scratching around having had no plan),
  • We end the season with only Keane, Mina and Holgate as recognised centre backs.
In all fairness I can see at least two of those four points happening.
 

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