Everton 2011/12: If Everton was a school...

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distin and heitinga - class bullies partners in crime but distins age restricts him from bullying all day every day so jagielka fills in for him.
 
Gibson: Everyone thought he wouldn't last the year. Now comfortably getting B's in everything, going out with one of the most popular girls alright mates and is one of the lads that gets invited to everything without being anyones best mate.
 
Heitinga is the rough ass kid who was always getting booted out of class but then came good when someone believed in him

Howard is the kid who the others laugh at behind his back but are too scared of him to do it to his face

Neville is the kid who carries teachers' books to her car and is the kid who the headteacher uses to talk to the parents of prospective pupils

Baines and Pienaar are always sitting at the back of the classroom messing about. The teacher tried to separate them but realized that neither's work was as good when they are apart.

Moyes is the teacher where you always have to stand up when he enters the room. He's the science teacher who also does some PE and drives the footy team minibus

Ossie and Hibbert are the ones smoking behind the bikesheds. Ossie hangs out with hibbert so that he can get more birds (cos he looks more attractive in the presence of hibbert)

Coleman is the kid who tries to hang around with other kids who don't want him too.
 
Barkley: The kid who always has a sick note from his mum for PE - usually makes mention of his exploding knees

Mucha: The kid whose parents wonder why they shelled out money to send him to private school. Also has terrible timing and is always late for class.
 
Kenwright- The Grinning, unqualified Headteacher who has blagged his way through the job, he keeps promising new equipment and resources for the school, though never actually doing anything, keeping some parents happy. All the whilst stealing stationery from the cupboard and keeping cosy with the school board of directors.
 
Kenwright- The Grinning, unqualified Headteacher who has blagged his way through the job, he keeps promising new equipment and resources for the school, though never actually doing anything, keeping some parents happy. All the whilst stealing stationery from the cupboard and keeping cosy with the school board of directors.

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Neville - the teachers assistant, never made the kids call him sir, but phil As he was their mate. Always over enthusiastic but means well.
Distin - the big lad every one fears but he's a softy at heart, all rounder, achieving A's & B's in all subjects.
 
Neville, Head boy
Heitinga, the psycho
Yobo, the kid that no one wants yet refuses to go away
 
Jelavic: The lad who everyone thought was boss when he first joined but slowly people realised he's a beaut.
 
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