Everton 2011/12: If Everton was a school...

[jsweeney17]

Osman sits at the front on the left and always puts his hand up when the teacher needs a volunteer to do some menial job.

 

[Nails]

Cahill is the bloke that always kept quiet in class. Then at recess/lunch would be the first to hang some kid up a tree by his trousers.

 

[toffeejack]

Heitinga: Suddenly became popular halfway through the season and is now banging all the cheerleaders at the same time

sounds like the girl who all of a suddent grew breasts and all the guys began to notice her.

ANICHEBE AND NEVILLE LICKING WINDOWS AT SCHOOL

care to explain why anichebe is older than neville. Maybe swap neville for barkley because they are licking moyes' window for not playing them

 

[Azzurri]

Fellaini: the big dosey gorm who everyone takes the piss out of - but never to his face.

 

[FTY]

sounds like the girl who all of a suddent grew breasts and all the guys began to notice her.



care to explain why anichebe is older than neville. Maybe swap neville for barkley because they are licking moyes' window for not playing them

Anichebe is bigger than neville...

 

[jsweeney17]

Coleman: tries really really hard but fails at every subject even though he finishes the tests first with a big smile on his face.

 

[jsweeney17]

Coleman: tries really really hard but fails at every subject even though he finishes the tests first with a big smile on his face.

Principally because he just enthusiastically fills in the multiple choice section at random - he occasionally gets it right

 

[Royal]

Bainesy was the kid everyone was worried was gonna go all columbine style one day

 

[The Size Of A Cow]

Heitinga - nice enough lad, quiet and works hard, but you always get the feeling you shouldn't wind him up because he's only one name-calling away from throwing a chair across the science lab.

Gibson - very good at maths and english, occasionally comes up with a great insight in science. Mostly B's and C's.

 

[caught]

Jags - the kid who did really well a few years ago and is consequently considered one of the head boys even though he's been flagging of late and feels like he might have no real identity. Should he have left to go to that private school a few years ago? Too late now. Looks like he'll be doing Sport Psychology at JMU instead of applying for Cambridge like Mr Irvine said he'd be able to a few years ago. His bird loves him, he hopes, but he can't ignore the fact he's seen her staring at that big black lad from France who everybody all of a sudden seems to love. And Bainsey's started growing his hair like an indie kid and he just doesn't understand him anymore. Plus, because he's considered the 'responsible one,' he's been asked to help out those two Irish kids who keep eating the urinal cakes.

Nev - the kid that turns out to have been felching the careers advisor for years.

 

[toffeejack]

Anichebe is bigger than neville...

bollox, nev's nails

 

[nigelcoyb]

Moyes gets grade A in driving lessons, he parks the bus regularly.

 

[The Size Of A Cow]

Moyes - the science teacher who teaches you out of text books and doesn't do any practicals. You do ok in the exams at the end, but it wasn't always much fun getting there.

 

[FTY]

Moyes - the science teacher who teaches you out of text books and doesn't do any practicals. You do ok in the exams at the end, but it wasn't always much fun getting there.

Aha good one

 

[wm02]

Mucha: has his hand up for every question but the teacher never calls on him