Exclusive interview with Luiz Saurez.
Forgive the loose translation.
“I arrived at Liverpool expecting to see Mister Hodgson who wooed me to this fabulous football club with tales of famous European night and five time. Nice man gone. Some bad gangster with mad voice in charge.
I love all my fellow player but they are lazy bastarda who expect me to run my ass off for their payment. I run and run for my childhood mean special speed for survival in streets. I run for the fans and for the wages which better than Holland.
Now I decide to leave club so bite man like I did in Ajax. Big success! Ajax say I smell and ban me. Liverpool love me and swear at Chelsea. I confused. Why no ban me as well?
Real reason I go is not Champion League football – no. I sick of fans. I open door they cry. My children scared. Wife scared too. No privacy. Valentine day crazy. Very strange letters of love to me. Some sick. Me not sexy for men. No like this attention.
Crazy fan GET A LIFE. I bite you face nitwit. They make banner of me for to make me stay. Joke. I cannot do wrong for them. I push envelope but nothing. I Luiz not Elvis. Must get away from crazy club of nuts before I cry and shake.”
Breaking News!
Luis Saurez has just been spotted eating a sandwich!
We're not sure what was in the sandwich right now. We've heard rumours that it might be veal and cheese.
More as we know it!
I heard he ate it with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
They're a real worry aren't they?
My mate just showed me this:
![]()
evening Neville how are you today mate.Brilliant made my weekend this They are a cult like the Moonies
I am sound tonight mate,Good Carlos How are you
Am I the only one upset he's leaving?
He's done that lot so much PR damage it's untrue. I wanted him to stay for life. Don't care how talented he is on the pitch, he's banned an average of 10 games a year anyway and he helps paint Liverpool as racist, deluded cheats.
They wont replace him tho, they are just gonna sink lower and lower, Brenda clearly cant pick a player and when SteiveG leaves they have NOTHING.
Its good times.
Am I the only one upset he's leaving?
He's done that lot so much PR damage it's untrue. I wanted him to stay for life. Don't care how talented he is on the pitch, he's banned an average of 10 games a year anyway and he helps paint Liverpool as racist, deluded cheats.
Am I the only one upset he's leaving?
He's done that lot so much PR damage it's untrue. I wanted him to stay for life. Don't care how talented he is on the pitch, he's banned an average of 10 games a year anyway and he helps paint Liverpool as racist, deluded cheats.
Join the Everton conversation today.
Fewer ads, full access, completely free.