I'm okay, thank you for asking. Being able to have the service in spite of COVID, was I think, a big plus mentally.
I was there holding her hand when my mom passed and was able to talk her through all of that and tell her how much she meant to me - even though I am positive she knew.
I wasn't able to do that for Dad and even though I told him often that I loved him, I wish I could have been there at the end to really be sure he knew and to let him know I forgave him. I also find myself really being upset that he was alone, because I'm afraid he was scared there by himself at the end (even though the paramedics assured me it was very quick). I still wish I could have been there to hold him and let him know it would be okay. In the quiet moments i think about that a lot.
Still, I have really great support from my wife and boys, and the return to routine is helpful.
I really appreciate the folks here who have been so supportive. It helps.
Such a lovely post mate and you know there’ll always be someone on here to talk to if you feel the need x