Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[anjelikaferrett]

Thank you for this.

We had a meeting with the people who I made a complaint about which I opened up and actually cried in the meeting. But now I feel all this person has done is see this and just target me more. We don't have counselling per se they just sign post you to services. I have contacted the civil service charity for help and advise.

Sadly in the civil service all they ever do is pay lip service to mental health and they don't see a compulsive gambler as having mental health issues. But it has led to depression suicidal thoughts in the past and I do try to stay as positive as I can, but at times it can be really tough.

I do understand people saying ignore this person etc but it's difficult when this person is leading all the activities in the office and others are just enabling his actions and won't speak against him. If I complain again it will just be ramped up again.

I didn't realise you were a Civil Servant. I've messaged you

 

[dave n]

Devorce really is depressing isn't it. I had to go into the office yesterday and ask if I could work the four weeks I had booked off for our holiday to Greece. My wife and daughter are going still and all money I have paid out on flights and hotels etc...etc my wife has basically laughed at me when I've asked for any of it back. I just don't no what to do or how to handle stuff like this

 

[DanEFC92]

Easier getting Glastonbury tickets than it is to get an appointment with my gp

 

[roydo]

Devorce really is depressing isn't it. I had to go into the office yesterday and ask if I could work the four weeks I had booked off for our holiday to Greece. My wife and daughter are going still and all money I have paid out on flights and hotels etc...etc my wife has basically laughed at me when I've asked for any of it back. I just don't no what to do or how to handle stuff like this

A rare visitor to this thread. But your post did ring bells with me.

The pain/annoyance/guilt whatever of the actual divorce will pass. I promise you. The only people who are important from your point of view should be you, and your daughter. I havnt a clue why the marriage didnt work, doesnt really matter, but you will always be a Dad. Lashing a few bob so she has a nice holiday, even if you aint there, makes you a Man, and a Dad.

Its horrible, no getting away from that. But in 15/20 years time, if you can look back and say I did the best I could for my Daughter, irrespective of the inevitable changes to every ones lives in between, believe me, you will be fine with your self. And more importantly, your Daughter will love her Dad.

Good luck mate.

 

[marnie]

Another year passes.I SO MISS HAVING A PINT AND A BET WITH YOU xxx

 

[Seathestars]

Another year passes.I SO MISS HAVING A PINT AND A BET WITH YOU xxx

Whoever they are my friend, they are still there with you when you have your pint and bet.

 

[marnie]

Whoever they are my friend, they are still there with you when you have your pint and bet.

Thank you mate.It's me Dad.We never won a bet when we put one on together. Very much appreciate your words xxx

 

[Jokerdan]

Thank you mate.It's me Dad.We never won a bet when we put one on together. Very much appreciate your words xxx

Could have been me and my Dad, this (and probably countless others will say the same). But the memories will live long and always bring a wry smile to our faces when we recall those times. That's the enduring testament our loved one's leave behind and which helps keep us going until we hook up again on another plain.

 

[ClausThomsen]

Not so much a mental health thing at all, just need some advice.

I've been looking for a job for the last few weeks. All of a sudden, I have effectively been offered two. One with one I applied for (1) and the other is a firm I used to work for (they just rang me up and asked if I would come back - 2).

So, the first one is very well paid and in London. A 15% bonus, work from home a few days a week and would involve international travel. It would be setting up a new process, the team would be in India. It sounds good on paper but I have real reservations that it will be much more than a 9-5 job and there is also an element of sales involved (which I really wouldn't like). Because the main team are based in India, I feel it would be a very individual job and it is a very big corporate firm. I would get around £600 a month more than I do now

The second is with my former employer. The wage is around 20% less (not based in London and the commute will be half as much). The person who I really disliked, and one of the main reason I left, has now gone. I have some good mates there and I am know I am highly thought of in a small-ish firm of 150 people or so. I know the job is very much 9-5 (no thought needed after working hours), I can work from home too with flexitime. They are growing and I'd be working with people I really get on with. I'll still be head of a department but I won't be shoved on my own in an office all day. Even through I would taking a small paycut on what I am on now, I would get around £150 more a month than I do now as the commute is cheaper.

I've always said I'd go for happiness/quality of life over money but this is the first time I have been faced with such a difference. I don't particularly need that much more money, but there is a good chance my partner and I will be starting a family soon and the money could help - but do I want the stress of travel/targets/probably working loads with that? That much more, to me, is a life changing amount but at the same time I like the idea of still a decent job working with some good makes and know I am highly through of... Just seems very hard (or stupid) to turn down that much money? I don;'t know.

Help!!

Might be a bit late here but I'm not often in this thread...

Starting a family can be an expensive business but the difference in wages between the jobs is not insurmountable with a bit of minor budgeting. I may be guilty of assuming but it doesn't sound like you're in a job hovering around the minimum wage mark on PT hours and there's plenty who manage to raise a family on less than stellar wages.

Regardless of money you can't buy more time. Less commuting, less time abroad and regular hours with flexitime all in what sounds like somewhere you'd enjoy working sounds perfect. If you and you're other half can concentrate on family life in a reasonably structured way without work being a constant problematic intrusion it's a massive help. Just both of you being available so one can look after the baby and let the other go and have a soak in the bath, nip out for a pint or just have a lie down will be worth way more than the difference in wages.

Just think of how it would feel if you knew your partner was having a hard time of it with the baby and you were stuck in India? You'd happily give 10 times that £600 just to be able to get back and help out.

I'm gonna look a right nasty bell if you've took the London job though....

 

[coollino]

Might be a bit late here but I'm not often in this thread...

Starting a family can be an expensive business but the difference in wages between the jobs is not insurmountable with a bit of minor budgeting. I may be guilty of assuming but it doesn't sound like you're in a job hovering around the minimum wage mark on PT hours and there's plenty who manage to raise a family on less than stellar wages.

Regardless of money you can't buy more time. Less commuting, less time abroad and regular hours with flexitime all in what sounds like somewhere you'd enjoy working sounds perfect. If you and you're other half can concentrate on family life in a reasonably structured way without work being a constant problematic intrusion it's a massive help. Just both of you being available so one can look after the baby and let the other go and have a soak in the bath, nip out for a pint or just have a lie down will be worth way more than the difference in wages.

Just think of how it would feel if you knew your partner was having a hard time of it with the baby and you were stuck in India? You'd happily give 10 times that £600 just to be able to get back and help out.

I'm gonna look a right nasty bell if you've took the London job though....

Not too late actually so thanks for this. I signed the contract for the Nottingham job today. Pretty happy with the decision, I think!

 

[Billy Dean]

Not too late actually so thanks for this. I signed the contract for the Nottingham job today. Pretty happy with the decision, I think!

Good luck with it mate. I'm going through a vaguely similar if not exactly the same situation at the moment. I.e. the choice of staying in a well-paid job even though it's had me on the verge of burnout a few times over the last 1-2 years, or doing what I really want to do with my life which would likely mean a big pay cut and going back to uni for a year at the age of 38. Taking the money is winning so far but I'm making baby steps. Feel free to share if it turns out positive for you. I'm looking for other people's success stories to give me a push

 

[Number_25]

I'm terrified of the future, and I don't know what to do.

I can't sleep, the SSRIs the doctors gave me are making me slow and fat.

I'm 25 ffs.

 

[AmericasToffee]

I'm terrified of the future, and I don't know what to do.

I can't sleep, the SSRIs the doctors gave me are making me slow and fat.

I'm 25 ffs.

Time to schedule another appointment with your doctor. Might need to add another medicine or talk about what you can change in your routine - behaviors, diet, exercise, etc.

 

[COYBL25]

I'm terrified of the future, and I don't know what to do.

I can't sleep, the SSRIs the doctors gave me are making me slow and fat.

I'm 25 ffs.

Go back to your Drs mate and see if she / he can change them.

They all have varying degrees of side effects, but how bad they are can really vary from person to person.

 

[Tipp blue]

I'm terrified of the future, and I don't know what to do.

I can't sleep, the SSRIs the doctors gave me are making me slow and fat.

I'm 25 ffs.

About 3 years ago I went through something similar without the side effects of the medication. I was fixated about how quickly time was passing and if the rest of my life passed as quickly then it wouldn't feel too long until I was on my death bed. Which in turn made me worry about death I ended up on anti depression meds. It only took one sentence from a psychiatric doctor and it was instantly like a switch was turned off, he said "if you spend your time worring about the future and death you'll still die but you won't have lived" he was right worring achieves nothing but lessons the quality of your life. This worked for me and I haven't looked back since. Another peice of advice I can give you without knowing you, is if you have Facebook snap chat and or Twitter get rid of them, they are an absolute disaster for mental health I deleted mine and couldn't be happier with my decision, I did use them too much and I did feel sad after using FB or Twitter for long periods of time. I don't know if you have accounts if you do suspend them for a week or 2 get out for a walk every day and while your walking just look at things just notice the tree the bin the post box, tell your friends that your taking a break and if they want to contact you use viber. If my suspensions are correct you'll feel better after a week.