Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

JelavicBrate2 said:
I only had 2 yesterday, I think a lot of it’s mental more than physical.
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I mentioned above about not guilting people into giving up cos I don’t think it works, but I remember my dad - a smoker of 40+ years promising me he would give up after we watched my Nan die in Marie curie, he didn’t, the reason I mention this is cos I know hard it is I’ve seen it, I’ve witnessed how much of a dependency it has on people and how normalised smoking has become.

Keep us up to date mate, sharing how you go about getting help will help others - i know first hand how hard just starting can be!
 

JelavicBrate2 said:
Has anyone else tried to give up smoking, ringing up smoke free Liverpool tomorrow. Not sure smoking does my mental health any good. Irritable without a smoke, but at same time it doesn't do anything for your health smoking.
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my mother was energetic and had a young outlook on life she worked hard and brought me up alone she went from this to a fragile person who was a shadow of what she was. She passed yesterday due to smoking related issues I was with her until the end diagnosed with copd and wouldn’t /couldn’t give up smoking she tried and didn’t succeed the last 18 months she has had numerous stays in hospital 14 to be correct, last few months have been bad she was unable to speak a sentence without losing breath she was unable to leave her bed except use the toilet, after her last stay in hospital 3 weeks ago she said she wanted to stay home until the end which was yesterday morning. She went to sleep Saturday night and never woke.after witnessing this Iam going to try and give them up but I know I can’t entertain the idea until after her funeral it’s my coping mechanism when I’m stressed but I will try as I don’t want my kids to see me like that.
 
wangy said:
my mother was energetic and had a young outlook on life she worked hard and brought me up alone she went from this to a fragile person who was a shadow of what she was. She passed yesterday due to smoking related issues I was with her until the end diagnosed with copd and wouldn’t /couldn’t give up smoking she tried and didn’t succeed the last 18 months she has had numerous stays in hospital 14 to be correct, last few months have been bad she was unable to speak a sentence without losing breath she was unable to leave her bed except use the toilet, after her last stay in hospital 3 weeks ago she said she wanted to stay home until the end which was yesterday morning. She went to sleep Saturday night and never woke.after witnessing this Iam going to try and give them up but I know I can’t entertain the idea until after her funeral it’s my coping mechanism when I’m stressed but I will try as I don’t want my kids to see me like that.
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I'm so sorry for your loss x
 

NeilMorepies said:
Really struggling for a reason at the moment. Buried my best mate today, and got a significant birthday this week that nobody knows about.
Rum just about making the difference. I know it’s no solution, but it quiets the mental noise.
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Sorry to hear that mate horrible burying your best mate, rum might not be the answer but if it helps with the mental noise then go for it mate i know how noisy it can get. Smoke was always my noise muter. Have a rum for me and ill have a smoke for you
 
JelavicBrate2 said:
Has anyone else tried to give up smoking, ringing up smoke free Liverpool tomorrow. Not sure smoking does my mental health any good. Irritable without a smoke, but at same time it doesn't do anything for your health smoking.
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Give this a try? It helped me 23 years ago - haven't smoked since (nor have I wanted to) - after smoking for 33 years since 9 years of age (and regularly smoking since age 16 (so for 26 years) when I got my first job and could afford to buy them instead of stealing them...)

 

NeilMorepies said:
Rum just about making the difference. I know it’s no solution, but it quiets the mental noise.
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In moderation, it's probably okay but remember to think of it as a crutch. You use one at your weakest, to help you get back on your own two feet but, the longer you use it, the more you'll need it! I think that as you've already identified that it's "no solution", then you should be fine to seek other methods for coping or getting back to your usual self.
Keep us posted on how you're going. There's a captive audience here & we're all ears when you need us! ;)
 
I agree with that, mate. Alcohol is a slippery slope. No doubt it can calm the noise. I thought of myself as someone who rarely drank. And not because of any moral issue. Hell, I used to brew my own beer. But lately I’ve been finding a reason to justify why tonight I wanted something.

It was never a ton, just enough to feel good watching a show on the tube. Then I noticed I could come up with a reason all the time. Then I was only having one on days that end in Y. Again, not a lot, but steady. So I stopped making excuses and stopped bringing it into the house.

Now it’s just when we go out to eat and occasionally in the house. I say all this because it’s never been an issue in my life at all and I’m not some young guy anymore. But I saw how quickly it can become a habit. If you’re struggling on top of it, it can become a major problem in your life.

So mate, go ahead and grieve. Have the rum. I would, too. Probably for a few nights. The pain will lessen. See where you’re at after a few weeks. For now, sending strength your way 💙.
 
MaximusEvertonius said:
I agree with that, mate. Alcohol is a slippery slope. No doubt it can calm the noise. I thought of myself as someone who rarely drank. And not because of any moral issue. Hell, I used to brew my own beer. But lately I’ve been finding a reason to justify why tonight I wanted something.

It was never a ton, just enough to feel good watching a show on the tube. Then I noticed I could come up with a reason all the time. Then I was only having one on days that end in Y. Again, not a lot, but steady. So I stopped making excuses and stopped bringing it into the house.

Now it’s just when we go out to eat and occasionally in the house. I say all this because it’s never been an issue in my life at all and I’m not some young guy anymore. But I saw how quickly it can become a habit. If you’re struggling on top of it, it can become a major problem in your life.

So mate, go ahead and grieve. Have the rum. I would, too. Probably for a few nights. The pain will lessen. See where you’re at after a few weeks. For now, sending strength your way 💙.
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For those souls struggling with grief, MIND is a very good Organisation. It talks to people in very plain easy to understand language. Please see link for bereavement below and God bless all of those people looking for peace of mind.

 
In my case, music keeps the demons in check. Kind of puts a muzzle on them.
You'll have your own thing- weekly 5 a side, fishing, rock climbing, dinner with friends once a month. Whatever.

Again, in my case, laughter is the only thing that scares the demons away.
Again, there'll be something that works for you.

Then there's the one thing that I'm convinced works for everyone. Sends the demons packing with their tails between their legs.

Kindness.

Be Kind. It will raise your self esteem. You never know what the other person is going through. You might be saving someone's life.

Allow others to be kind to you. It will help you. it will restore your faith in humanity. It will help them. It will make the world a slightly better place.

Be aware of kindness. I witness so much of it just on this thread. It really is all over the show despite what doom mongers and news bulletins might have us believe. And it's the greatest weapon and strongest shield you could possibly have.

Love, peace and bananas to you all.
 

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