My BIL was a doctor and he said that up to 6 per day is more good than harm for the relaxation and joy against the threat of lung cancer .Not for non smokers but for those trying to stop. I don't smoke but my wife does and she has tried everything including hypnotism ,she came home and told me smokes made her feel sick to the bottom of her stomach ,that lasted about six hours ! Here it quite common to smoke but never indoors even at -20° they all go out to smoke .
Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
If you eat bananas and baked beans you will get almost all the goodness you need -except kindness.
The place is flooded with good ones who will be glad of a chat .
Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
Sorry for your loss mate.
I agree about the kindness and love being the perfect antidote for feeling low and for me personally, despondent.. Those that know a little of me, will know I don't go into specifics of my job only that I love it. But to corroborate Jamos thoughts on kindness. I want to posit a small anecdote to make my point.
I received a call out of the blue. First thing I heard was seagulls. Transpires I had one of " mine " on a cliff top, calling me as she was distraught ". I don't need to elaborate but she was a 15 year old girl. She couldn't tell me where she was. Using local landmarks I managed to work out from a hotel name flashing in the distance, where she was. I managed to get emergency services to her. I later got a lovely plain simple heart felt letter from her and her mam and dad. Thanking me.
So the purpose of the story is I kept that letter. When I feel deflated, overwhelmed with feelings of the sadness of people, I want to make their lives better but can't sometimes. I concede I have to be careful. Regardless of how long I've been doing the job, it can get deep, and I feel very low. I have no issues about disclosing that. However let me tell you, I open that letter, read the very impactful, honest kind words thanking me for helping their daughter. I utilize them words, they are therapeutic and give my life meaning.
So Jamos is right. Be kind to people, help them if you can, offer support even if it's in the form of reassuring words, it really does matter. It can make the difference in outcomes over the poor soul who feels That person who feels noone cares, give them hope. We ALL have a worth, we matter and our actions impact people's lives, they honestly do. If your up to it folks, help people speak words of comfort to them, it will make you feel better. Thanks for listening.m
MaximusEvertonius
Player Valuation: £20m
That was beautiful. One act of kindness or empathy can be the difference in someone’s life. That day you were her angel.
JelavicBrate2
Player Valuation: £15m
I've managed to reduce it, hopefully smokes I bought yesterday were last pack. I've got nicotine tablets from smoke free Liverpool. I think a lot of smoking a stress related, I don't understand why sometimes I can go a long time without 1, other times I want one every 2 hours. I've heavily reduced my drinking and drinking often leads to increased smoking.
Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
One incredibly important thing I stupidly forgot to say with reference to kindness.
Be kind to yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Dymak
Player Valuation: £40m
Being close to someone that is struggling with depression feels just as bad, if not worse, than dealing with it yourself. I don’t really know how to help him. My first goal is to get him out of the house a bit more, but dealing with the root causes of this kind of thing is much more difficult than that. It’s breaking my heart, so it is!
Bryan+
Player Valuation: £40m
Hey mate. I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice here, for someone who’s become more or less a recluse - try and tread lightly here, you’ve correctly identified the fact you need to find the root cause but the safety found in routine at home is likely something you’re likely going to have to accept.
Dragging them out of that will unnerve or expose them, it did to me, I had well meaning mates who took me on a night out for a few drinks, a drink and a night out was not what I needed.
Try and keep a few days long conversation(WhatsApp etc) going about their routine and how they are feeling? Identify any triggers, weather, food, Everton? - give them the space they need, don’t try and force them into a corner for all of you well meaning considerations may go awry.
Bless you for caring btw - the world needs more like you.
mccole
Player Valuation: £35m
Feel for you man. A tip would be find something they do at home (careful now) that can be transferable out of the home.
Something like Darts is a good thing, play at home then maybe pop the pub for a game and watch the footy/darts. It takes away from the reality of not socialising or being a home herbert.
Best of luck man and doing go so hard on yourself
Zezti
Player Valuation: £70m
I'm losing my mind.
I have been trying to get into the police for almost a year now. I passed every stage fine until the final interview, which is split between the interview itself and an investigation exercise. September was my first attempt - failed interview but passed the exercise. On Sunday I had my second attempt, and I flew through the interview, but somehow failed the EXACT SAME investigation exercise. Word for word, brief and task, exactly the same as when I passed. I don't know what went wrong. I have to wait 3 weeks for feedback. Surely I have what they are looking for in an officer if I have passed both by now? Apparently not.
I'm 30. I have two degrees but I have never had a job. For 2 years I have been my Dad's full time carer (Alzheimer's). My options are incredibly limited with my CV. I have had several other interviews in the meantime, all unsuccessful. The police are perfect for me, my situation and my skills, but I just can't get there.
Now, I have to go back to Universal Credit for my measly 300 quid a month and satisfy them by applying for crappy jobs nobody wants to do in the meantime. Doing something low pay or part time isnt an option because then my Dad needs carers which we can't afford.
Don't know how much more I can take. I feel like a colossal failure and that my life is wasting away despite whatever I try. I can reattempt the interview in another 3 months, but my confidence is hitting an all-time low.
I have been trying to get into the police for almost a year now. I passed every stage fine until the final interview, which is split between the interview itself and an investigation exercise. September was my first attempt - failed interview but passed the exercise. On Sunday I had my second attempt, and I flew through the interview, but somehow failed the EXACT SAME investigation exercise. Word for word, brief and task, exactly the same as when I passed. I don't know what went wrong. I have to wait 3 weeks for feedback. Surely I have what they are looking for in an officer if I have passed both by now? Apparently not.
I'm 30. I have two degrees but I have never had a job. For 2 years I have been my Dad's full time carer (Alzheimer's). My options are incredibly limited with my CV. I have had several other interviews in the meantime, all unsuccessful. The police are perfect for me, my situation and my skills, but I just can't get there.
Now, I have to go back to Universal Credit for my measly 300 quid a month and satisfy them by applying for crappy jobs nobody wants to do in the meantime. Doing something low pay or part time isnt an option because then my Dad needs carers which we can't afford.
Don't know how much more I can take. I feel like a colossal failure and that my life is wasting away despite whatever I try. I can reattempt the interview in another 3 months, but my confidence is hitting an all-time low.
Have you thought about applying to become a PCSO or a Custody Assistant in the meantime ( you could work the shifts around your dads care, same as you would if you were in the Police ?
I know the pay isn`t great, but neither is the police nowadays.
That would keep you within the field of work that you want to go into and help you " tread water " in the meantime and hopefully stop you going on a massive self doubting downer ?
I know it`s not the same, but I know people who`ve started off as Teaching Assistants and gone onto become Teachers, same with a couple of girls, who`ve started off as Health Care Assistants and gone onto become Nurses.
I don`t know whether the Police is the same, but I know some of the firms I worked for, used to really raise the bar on the interviews if they had a massive amount of applicants, as the sheer numbers meant that they could be be really picky.
I know it`s easy to say, but you`ll get there one way or another mate.
Jimmy Grimble
Player Valuation: £20m
In my opinion, this is great advice. Even if you can't immediately become a PCSO or Custody Assistant, get yourself into some type of employment. It will immediately enhance your CV and build your skill set and hopefully your confidence. In turn this will enhance your chances of being successful with your long term goals. Best of luck and don't give up
Macker07
Player Valuation: £750k
One massive point both from Narcotics Anonymous and my therapy sessions is this exact point. Being kind to yourself.
My upbringing with violent parents never allowed any of that. Also being brought up in a religion where sins where punished by death. In fact the biggest brainwash they put in my head was by turning my back on this religion I am going to be put into the abyss with Satan at Armaghedon.
It's a struggle. Last night's result lifted the spirits, and that hasn't happened for a while with the Toffees.
