Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[JLW]

Sorry to hear your sad news, my father's lungs were covered in benign plaques due to asbestos poisoning. If we as a family wanted to take it further then we would have to pay for another autopsy. Dad was made redundant when lairds shut down in 80s. My father was exposed to it when he was 43. He was 88 when he passed.

My dad worked for the council for over 20 years from about the 70s and then worked for some company ripping out old buildings so its probably one of them jobs where he has got it from.
Either way mate its horrible, the doctor told me from exposure to when its starts to effect you it could be anything from 20-30 years.

Im not looking forward to how this plays out over the few months.

My dad doesn't know what he's got left as my mum doesn't want him to know as she thinks he will give up and he's still well within himself.

I know its probably the last thing on your mind mate but you can make a claim for compensation regarding this even though your dad has passed.
I can give you the contact details of the solicitor who is dealing with my dads if you wish.

 

[WilliamPerry]

Sorry to hear mate!

My dad has just found out 3 weeks ago he has Mesothelioma cancer (asbestos) it was heartbreaking to find out.
Did your dad have it for over 40 years? because from what I've been told by the oncologist he has said 6-8 months if he doesn't have any treatment or 12-18 if he goes through Chemo.

Sorry to hear that mate

 

[Donegal blue]

My dad worked for the council for over 20 years from about the 70s and then worked for some company ripping out old buildings so its probably one of them jobs where he has got it from.
Either way mate its horrible, the doctor told me from exposure to when its starts to effect you it could be anything from 20-30 years.

Im not looking forward to how this plays out over the few months.

My dad doesn't know what he's got left as my mum doesn't want him to know as she thinks he will give up and he's still well within himself.

I know its probably the last thing on your mind mate but you can make a claim for compensation regarding this even though your dad has passed.
I can give you the contact details of the solicitor who is dealing with my dads if you wish.

Thankyou bud, my dad knew for years about his ailment and never did anything about it, never told anyone, my mum who is in a nursing home in nazareth house could do with extra help with fees. Please will you send details to me. But first I will ask my mum what we should do. Thankyou.

 

[JLW]

Thankyou bud, my dad knew for years about his ailment and never did anything about it, never told anyone, my mum who is in a nursing home in nazareth house could do with extra help with fees. Please will you send details to me. But first I will ask my mum what we should do. Thankyou.

PM'd mate

 

[Donegal blue]

PM'd mate

Thankyou very much mate.

 

[ForresToffee]

I look at all the posts on here and feel ashamed to post because I think my issues are all self inflicted. However I thought I’d post anyway as I’ve never felt so low and there seems to be a huge amount of kind hearted people on here.

I separated from my wife a few months ago because I thought the grass was greener (it never is), ever since I have regretted it but I feel so deep in a hole now I have no idea how to get back out. I have hurt my wife, my kids and the other person and have no idea how to sort it out and to be honest I don’t feel I deserve to have it sorted as it’s my fault.

 

[Spotty]

I look at all the posts on here and feel ashamed to post because I think my issues are all self inflicted. However I thought I’d post anyway as I’ve never felt so low and there seems to be a huge amount of kind hearted people on here.

I separated from my wife a few months ago because I thought the grass was greener (it never is), ever since I have regretted it but I feel so deep in a hole now I have no idea how to get back out. I have hurt my wife, my kids and the other person and have no idea how to sort it out and to be honest I don’t feel I deserve to have it sorted as it’s my fault.

Forrest I don't know your present situation. You still in the family home or are you by yourself / living with someone else ? If you have made a " mistake " and acknowledge it, I would apologies to your wife / kids, you realises you made a terrible mistake but that you still love them. Nothing wrong with being honest and saying you want to be a part of their life again if that is the case. I suspect that all involved need some space, some time to reflect. As I say without knowing the specifics - age of the kids, length of marriage, current living situation, but as I say telling them you love them and perhaps giving everyone a bit of space might be the best thing.

We all make mistakes, all of us, it's how we react and how honest with ourselves and others, can be the determining factor as to how " things turn out ". If there is a marked deterioration in your mental health, you will be best served in being pro active in addressing it. This forum is a good place for advice and support. Take care.

 

[Gwladysover]

Since my father's passing I have been struggling to smile again, lost my way. I came over to liverpool to sort out funeral arrangements and then returned to Ireland. After one day I received an email to say there was a coroners inquest into my father's death. Unbeknown to me and family my father had asbestosis from work in camell lairds years ago. He never told us of his suffering albeit he had it since the age of 43, 88 when he passed. Can't but help to think he suffered alone.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. It may be that he never told you of his diagnosis as he wanted you all to carry on as normal rather than see him as someone who was ill and spare you pain and worry. He obviously loved you all very much and the fact that you were carrying on as normal would have brought him much joy. Take comfort in the fact that you had such a kind and caring father.?

 

[Gwladysover]

I look at all the posts on here and feel ashamed to post because I think my issues are all self inflicted. However I thought I’d post anyway as I’ve never felt so low and there seems to be a huge amount of kind hearted people on here.

I separated from my wife a few months ago because I thought the grass was greener (it never is), ever since I have regretted it but I feel so deep in a hole now I have no idea how to get back out. I have hurt my wife, my kids and the other person and have no idea how to sort it out and to be honest I don’t feel I deserve to have it sorted as it’s my fault.

So sorry to read this. There is no need to feel ashamed, just because you feel that your issues are self-inflicted does not mean they are any less deserving than others. @Spotty has, as always, given good advice and I hope that you are able to resolve the situation. Best wishes?

 

[Gwladysover]

Sorry to hear mate!

My dad has just found out 3 weeks ago he has Mesothelioma cancer (asbestos) it was heartbreaking to find out.
Did your dad have it for over 40 years? because from what I've been told by the oncologist he has said 6-8 months if he doesn't have any treatment or 12-18 if he goes through Chemo.

So very sorry to hear this. ?

 

[Donegal blue]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. It may be that he never told you of his diagnosis as he wanted you all to carry on as normal rather than see him as someone who was ill and spare you pain and worry. He obviously loved you all very much and the fact that you were carrying on as normal would have brought him much joy. Take comfort in the fact that you had such a kind and caring father.?

Thankyou for your kind words bud, means a lot.

 

[Tim's tourettes]

Not posted on this for a couple of years. Long term anxiety sufferer..... manifests itself in obsessing on world events generally, leads to all manner of issues.
Started 10 plus years ago when my youngest was born. Chronic lack of sleep sent me down a slippery slope.
I'm very placid in nature and suddenly I was a nasty, aggressive prick.
It's been close to costing me my wife and kids in the past.
Been in a good place for a while now, ups and downs but generally the downs aren't as bad anymore. Combination of meds, cbt, exercise and good mates who I can talk too have all helped me massively.
Stopped going on this forum as I felt I couldn't cope hearing with other people's issues. Feel in such a good place that I wanted to post and say I'm happy to offer my own experience and advice for anyone to who this may sound familiar. Im early 40's, father of 2, very responsible job. I'm lucky in that 2 mates of mine are in very similar situations and we all opened up to one another on a drunken night out. Helps immensely to share.... especially when you feel isolated and as weak as pi** for being a 'macho bloke' and not being able to cope as you constantly have a million negative thoughts racing through your head and you find yourself crying at a drop of a hat!!

 

[COYBL25]

Not posted on this for a couple of years. Long term anxiety sufferer..... manifests itself in obsessing on world events generally, leads to all manner of issues.
Started 10 plus years ago when my youngest was born. Chronic lack of sleep sent me down a slippery slope.
I'm very placid in nature and suddenly I was a nasty, aggressive prick.
It's been close to costing me my wife and kids in the past.
Been in a good place for a while now, ups and downs but generally the downs aren't as bad anymore. Combination of meds, cbt, exercise and good mates who I can talk too have all helped me massively.
Stopped going on this forum as I felt I couldn't cope hearing with other people's issues. Feel in such a good place that I wanted to post and say I'm happy to offer my own experience and advice for anyone to who this may sound familiar. Im early 40's, father of 2, very responsible job. I'm lucky in that 2 mates of mine are in very similar situations and we all opened up to one another on a drunken night out. Helps immensely to share.... especially when you feel isolated and as weak as pi** for being a 'macho bloke' and not being able to cope as you constantly have a million negative thoughts racing through your head and you find yourself crying at a drop of a hat!!

Wonderful post mate.

Made up for you.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Not posted on this for a couple of years. Long term anxiety sufferer..... manifests itself in obsessing on world events generally, leads to all manner of issues.
Started 10 plus years ago when my youngest was born. Chronic lack of sleep sent me down a slippery slope.
I'm very placid in nature and suddenly I was a nasty, aggressive prick.
It's been close to costing me my wife and kids in the past.
Been in a good place for a while now, ups and downs but generally the downs aren't as bad anymore. Combination of meds, cbt, exercise and good mates who I can talk too have all helped me massively.
Stopped going on this forum as I felt I couldn't cope hearing with other people's issues. Feel in such a good place that I wanted to post and say I'm happy to offer my own experience and advice for anyone to who this may sound familiar. Im early 40's, father of 2, very responsible job. I'm lucky in that 2 mates of mine are in very similar situations and we all opened up to one another on a drunken night out. Helps immensely to share.... especially when you feel isolated and as weak as pi** for being a 'macho bloke' and not being able to cope as you constantly have a million negative thoughts racing through your head and you find yourself crying at a drop of a hat!!

Great post - really happy for you.

 

[Spotty]

Not posted on this for a couple of years. Long term anxiety sufferer..... manifests itself in obsessing on world events generally, leads to all manner of issues.
Started 10 plus years ago when my youngest was born. Chronic lack of sleep sent me down a slippery slope.
I'm very placid in nature and suddenly I was a nasty, aggressive prick.
It's been close to costing me my wife and kids in the past.
Been in a good place for a while now, ups and downs but generally the downs aren't as bad anymore. Combination of meds, cbt, exercise and good mates who I can talk too have all helped me massively.
Stopped going on this forum as I felt I couldn't cope hearing with other people's issues. Feel in such a good place that I wanted to post and say I'm happy to offer my own experience and advice for anyone to who this may sound familiar. Im early 40's, father of 2, very responsible job. I'm lucky in that 2 mates of mine are in very similar situations and we all opened up to one another on a drunken night out. Helps immensely to share.... especially when you feel isolated and as weak as pi** for being a 'macho bloke' and not being able to cope as you constantly have a million negative thoughts racing through your head and you find yourself crying at a drop of a hat!!

Echo others views on this post. Uplifting and great post. Interesting that you mention Tim " obsessing world events....". I myself don't experience anxiety about what's going on in the World, but it leaves me with a " heavy heart ' at the capacity of some people's hearts to treat other human beings with such reckless disdain. Like most people I think " how could they " but conversely, the acts of human kindness, selflessness is uplifting. In particular I love the way some young people - often children - have a propensity to help others, they are more often than not, non judgemental. I think we as human beings have a " sympathy " default button, and don't like seeing others suffer.
Nice one Tim, well said.