Oh mate, sorry to hear about your Gran. Grief is weird and can catch you unawares and in waves. Take it easy on yourself
Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
Thanks for the kind words lads. Hopefully my session next this week opens up a few answers.
Good luck with that, I hope you can benefit from it and bounce back.
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
Exactly this. At the time my Dad died (he was 56) my kids were 5 and 3 so had the care of them as well as my Mum who went completely to pieces. I had no time to grieve properly what with all the arrangements, keeping cheerful and putting on a brave face etc. On top everything my son was referred to hospital with an unexplained illness, it turned out he was frightened of the rest of us dying like Grandad. I thought I had coped admirably with things until 18 months later when grief suddenly hit me like brick wall. Take care and don’t bottle things up (no pun intended) like I did.
Sorry for your loss mate. I know when I lost my auld fella I assumed the grief would come to the fore by itself and when it didn’t really, because I was too busy trying to be “the man” and look after everyone else, I didn’t question it. In retrospect it battered my head for a few years afterwards. Alcohol ban is also a great shout; these days I can have a few drinks at home and still wake up with that weird anxiety that used to come with nights out. Strange stuff.
Take comfort in the fact that you’re doing the best things to help yourself. Feeling down is obviously not great but your level of awareness about it means you won’t be there for long. Good luck and keep us updated if you can.
Martin Alvito
Player Valuation: £50m
Martin Alvito
Player Valuation: £50m
Also, and for emphasis, you're full of [Poor language removed] on this one. You do you.
@GrandOldTeam. Go ahead, infract me. I dare you.
This is not what this thread is for.
Keep posting on here mate. There is always someone around. I've been through 3 tough years and talking helps. When I isolate myself I feel worse.
I'm trying to lay off the beer and if I can drag myself out of bed I'll go for a run or a walk. Exercise and fresh air really sorts my head out.
Good luck mate
Don’t know how many people here follow the journalist Yashar but he is struggling at the moment and being very open about it. He has found some comfort from sharing and it will hopefully help others too that are going through a dark patch know that they are not alone.
cromofo
Player Valuation: £15m
This music video reminded me of this thread. It really encapsulates being a man, having to struggle through depression and not being able to share and show feelings as easily. We gotta stick together.
I've posted in this thread a while ago, when my mom got cancer. That was a really really crap time for me. Fortunately, everything went fine and she's healthy as ever.
In the meantime, I've met a wonderful girl who means the world to me. We've both talked about our problems and struggles with depression and it has brought us closer together. Lots of tears. We've only known eachother for half a year but it feels like years already. I'm really happy and so is she. She told me she didn't believe in love before meeting me and in a way - I didn't too. That changed. Some things really do make sense after all. Not to say that it eliminates every bad thing in both of our lives, but it is certainly easier to push through. I've never really felt this way about someone and I hope it continues. I know it will.
Hope you all are doing well, or better than usual.
I've posted in this thread a while ago, when my mom got cancer. That was a really really crap time for me. Fortunately, everything went fine and she's healthy as ever.
In the meantime, I've met a wonderful girl who means the world to me. We've both talked about our problems and struggles with depression and it has brought us closer together. Lots of tears. We've only known eachother for half a year but it feels like years already. I'm really happy and so is she. She told me she didn't believe in love before meeting me and in a way - I didn't too. That changed. Some things really do make sense after all. Not to say that it eliminates every bad thing in both of our lives, but it is certainly easier to push through. I've never really felt this way about someone and I hope it continues. I know it will.
Hope you all are doing well, or better than usual.
Very happy for you mate, and your Mum!
A
Acas
Guest
Gladys, what is " grieving ? " ( rhetorical ). Is it crying, a demonstration of how upset you are. ? I suspect it is different for all people. Dad and mum died a number of years ago., I can go through months without actually " formerly " thinking of them. Then, it will hit me, a terrible sadness, the little things that on the face of it, are not important. Mum bathing me and my two brothers in the same bath after football. the water filthy, using fairy liquid to wash our hair. I know crazy isn't it. Her little hugs, kissing my forehead, her being there for the birth of my children watching her weep even though she had five of her own. We in my humble opinion, NEVER stop grieving. Its with us and yes, for me its a good thing. It shows we care, how much we love our lost loved ones. No time scales, no rule books to refer to " ah yes, when someone dies, you do this ". No, its the most personal feelings we have, memories of the people we loved temporarily gone. Don't beat yourself up re: the " delay " of grief buddy. It happens when it happens and as I said never stops. Talk to people, let them know you are hurting. People will listen because they will know what your talking about. When I call my brothers and sisters, nine times out of ten the chat starts with " been thinking of me mam / dad a lot lately ". Take care m8, look after yourself.
Starting to struggle a bit, think I absolutely need to go back on some medicine. The summers for some reason always tend to be hard for me, not sure why, but I always seem to find the days extra long and hard to enjoy. Least that's the case with too many days.
Work is work, hard but better than other places and there no issues really other than feeling ground down. I've used no holidays in the 11 months I've been there, missed only one day in that time. I think maybe I just badly need a break. I've got some saved up so I think I need to use them ASAP.
Any encouraging words would be gratefully received.
Work is work, hard but better than other places and there no issues really other than feeling ground down. I've used no holidays in the 11 months I've been there, missed only one day in that time. I think maybe I just badly need a break. I've got some saved up so I think I need to use them ASAP.
Any encouraging words would be gratefully received.
Why not just take a week or two off to recharge? Plan some things you know make you happy and tick them off when you're not working. No point in recognising you're in a rut whilst keeping the routine the same. Shake it up, week off sleeping late, bed earlier etc.
Also blackout blinds are a godsend. I hate the daylight, much prefer winter, so I got some to replicate a shorter day.
