David Unsworth - Temporary Manager

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caught said:
Scenario 14: Unsworth's Everton produce a spirited display to edge out a near full strength Chelsea in the Carabacabooboo Cup and then earn a solid 2-0 win over Leicester away at the weekend. In his post-match interview he tells a BBC reporter to call him 'Mr Rhino'. The reporter laughs uneasily.

The following Monday the players arrive for training to discover Unsworth shirtless on the Finch Farm training pitch, arms stretched out wide, his body covered completely in a rhino tattoo. Jagielka and Baines do a wee on each other in fear. Mo Besic takes a picture, uploads it onto Facebook and then gives it a 'like'. Eventually, Wayne Rooney asks Unsworth what's happening. The response? "I AM RHINO!"

Training is cancelled for the day. SSN run the story with video of the players bemusedly leaving USM FF while Unsworth elaborately basks in a muddy puddle. Farhad Moshiri immediately calls Jim White and giggles down the phone for three minutes before claiming that he was considering signing Cavani in January until he remembered that Oumar Niasse is his nephew.

Everton appoint Unsworth on a permanent contract because everyone on the board forgot to ask another manager to take the job.

Everton finish mid-table, playing a sturdy and energetic - if tactically limited - brand of football. Unsworth spends the majority of the season managing from the stands after an unfortunate incident involved him charging onto the pitch and driving his imaginary horn into the backside of several Liverpool players in the Goodison derby. He's heavily criticised for his actions but, luckily, he has recently developed extremely thick skin.
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God this gives me chills. The Moshiri bit scarily accurate too
 

Good Luck David lad.

I wouldn't put the pressure of the full time job on you, but see if you can get the players to play for the fans and we start again.

COYB!!!!
 
MartSlinger said:
You saying this as if im not happy Rhino's got it, when if you go back through the threads ive advocated Unsworth until the end of the season numerous times. Weird character you, Joey.
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He's got the job temporary at least Koemans gone cheer up and be less pradantic - any manager who gets us out of this mess will do,and Koeman was never going to do that!
 
Really hope it goes well under Unsy but he's on a hiding to nothing if the fans think he's gonna sweep in and have us playing like Barca within a few matches.
 

Personally I would like our new manager whoever it may be to get us safely up into the top half of the table away from releg zone by season end and never mind cups. has to be a year of consolidation.
 

Toffeelover said:
Personally I would like our new manager whoever it may be to get us safely up into the top half of the table away from releg zone by season end and never mind cups. has to be a year of consolidation.
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Exactly it's going to be hard for any manager to,sort the mess Konman has left!
Mid table with maybe a good Cup run is about it!
All that money spent and we looked awful under Koeman!
 
Joey66 said:
Exactly it's going to be hard for any manager to,sort the mess Konman has left!
Mid table with maybe a good Cup run is about it!
All that money spent and we looked awful under Koeman!
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That is right Joey we must be realistic about our mess, not only win games but do so when others are losing not an easy jobbo.
 

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