Trying to reduce your consumption of fossil fuels at home, by reducing the temperature control or switching off rads?? Amusing but informative article in today's Irish Indo - I have this debate every day with Mrs and Miss BR!!
Bill Linnane
October 29 2019 2:30 AM
And so we enter the season of mists, when the temperatures take a sudden nosedive, the harvests are in, and the clocks go back. But there is another dial that also requires adjustment - that of the domestic thermostat.
Few wars in history have had battle lines so tightly drawn - a couple of degrees of separation make all the difference between one of us claiming that they are about to freeze to death and the other claiming that the house is hotter than the surface of the sun. Like amateur safe crackers, we nudge and click the dial up and down, usually when we think the other one isn't looking.
I usually make a joke about it when I notice she has been cranking up the heat - oh, one of the kids must have been at the thermostat, as it is so high that the house is about to burst into flames. Perhaps they mistakenly think we won the Lotto and should ergo transform the entire building into a sauna.
She, on the other hand, accuses me of being a skinflint, too mean to turn up or even turn on the heating unless every single radiator in the house is coated in layers of washing, thus transforming it into a slightly mouldy rainforest. I see the heating as serving a practical purpose, ie, drying the clothes, rather than being there to provide the basic comfort of not shivering inside your own home.
On top of this quandary about what constitutes warm is the fact my wife finds it harder to warm herself, as she drinks neither tea nor coffee, something that to this day I still find profoundly unsettling. Part of me still half expects her to reveal herself as one of those yokes from V some day. At least that would help deal with our mouse problem.
But until she reveals she is a lizard person, we have our own ongoing game of thermodynamic cat and mouse - she turns the thermostat up a little, I turn it down and possibly off, telling our shivering children to put on a jumper if they are cold. They then give me a puzzled look until I realise that kids no longer wear jumpers and tell them to stick on a hoodie instead.
While we bicker endlessly about the thermostat, it isn't that we are incompatible as a couple, but that we are incompatible as a species. In a thermodynamic sense, men truly are from Mars (where the average temperature is -60ºC) and women are from Venus (average temperature 462ºC, or the exact temperature my wife wants the house to be). Our core temperatures are roughly the same - just over 37ºC - but the old trope of women being warm creatures and men being the equivalent of White Walkers might actually be true, as a study from Dutch scientists in 2015 noted that women are more comfortable at temperatures 2.5ºC higher than men. So our cores are similar - why then are our needs for heat different?
It partly has to do with metabolic rates, and partly with oestrogen which thickens the blood and slows its delivery to the extremities, meaning women's skin and hands get colder faster than men's - which in turns leads to gender-skewed phrases like 'cold hands, warm heart'.
Dr Han Kim of the University of Utah School of Medicine published a piece in The Lancet under that exact title, after testing the body temperatures of 219 people of all ages, deducting that women were more likely to have cold hands than men, despite having a slightly higher core temperature.
So when my wife illustrates to me the need for our central heating being jacked up to 11 by putting her ice-cold hands under my shirt and on my many rolls of flabby insulation, to illustrate how cold she is, I can simply explain to her that, actually, her core temperature is ever-so- slightly higher than mine, so really we don't need the heating on at all.
Of course, our Abigail's Party-style sniping about the thermostat has nothing on the dramas that play out in offices around the world, where Denise from accounts has worn a path to the air-con control panel, edging it up slightly, only for alpha-dog Brian from ad sales to suddenly appear like the Judderman and slam the temperatures back down a few thousand degrees.
Aside from the individual biology of women needing a slightly warmer environment, there is the fact that the age of air-con was ushered in in the 1960s, not exactly the most enlightened time; so the average was set by men in suits, for men in suits. There is another aspect to the issues around temperature controls - that of cognitive performance.
A study by Tom Y. Chang and Agne Kajackaite published in online journal PLOS One studied differences in the effect of temperature on cognitive performance by gender in a large controlled lab experiment; at higher temperatures, women performed better on a math and verbal task while the reverse effect was observed for men.
This meant that the increase in female performance in response to higher temperature was significantly larger and more precisely estimated than the corresponding decrease in male performance.
You can almost see Denise from accounts now, marching up to the air-con control panel and nailing the theses to the wall alongside it like an ASOS-clad Martin Luther, for the study's authors summarised: "Our findings suggest that gender mixed workplaces may be able to increase productivity by setting the thermostat higher than current standards." Suck it, Brian, looks like the dry cleaning bills for your ugly polyester suits is going to rocket like the median temperature in this building.
But it is in the home that the microdrama really plays out, where people are not constrained by a HR department. The bigger question behind our struggle for control of the heat is in how it plays out - why is she secretive about it, or, more importantly, why do I think it is mine to control?
I can drag in a load of whataboutery in the form of climate change, or just balancing our heating budget, but the struggle is less about warmth and comfort, and more about power, control, or some outdated, embarrassingly backward notions about gender roles.
Science has explained why we feel warmth and cold differently, but until they can come up with a cure for male pig-headedness, it seems the thermostat dial will continue to twitch.
Irish Independent