Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[witchdoc187]

@witchdoc187 I'm sorry to read that you are feeling down and that you're still dealing with all these issues with your ex-wife. Her actions towards you seem very demeaning, it sounds like her purpose was not only to end the marriage but while at it to also break your spirit. Maybe that's her strategy, to drive you away from your son by hurting you through her actions and words. So don't give her this power, mate. You know you are not the bad guy not matter what she rambles. You didn't cause all this mess, she did! Even if she wants to put the blame on you. You've mentioned here before that the most important thing is your relationship with your son so continue focusing on him, not her. She is his mom and she is going to be around (unless you can get full custody of your boy given her mental health issues?) but you are also going to be around and will be able to influence your son's formation and inculcate him the values that you deem important for him to have.

Now, when it comes to your birthday. May I ask what day that is? And how old would you be? Is there anyway that you could celebrate by having a sleepover with your son? Get a dessert to share, watch a movie together, get into a birthday pillow fight

Lastly, remember you are not alone. Like LL said we all an Everton family. So we are here for moral support and also to send you virtual hugs. I hope you can cheer up soon.

Thank you. Saturday 43 years old. Might just spend it with my best little friend. Maybe take him out for the day and treat him

 

[Sassy Colombian]

Thank you. Saturday 43 years old. Might just spend it with my best little friend. Maybe take him out for the day and treat him

I bet he will give you lots of birthday kisses and hugs to make your day extra special

 

[Ghost Rider]

Worth posting in here.

Currently off work with stress , caused by everything around me. My wife is a scan away from being able to be classed as disabled so plenty of the home life is on me , cooking , cleaning etc. Even going as far as school runs , it's down to me to make sure my daughter can get to school every day.

Work wise is extremely stressful for the job itself , it's made worse every poor decision being made. However part of the problem I went off with included how I am treated. Despite my job title being quite low in the order , I have project management , system development , running services , training and producing official documentation etc the list goes on. Yet there is still a do as we say attitude at times , no matter how bad things are. No matter how much I prove myself to be better than my job.

The trigger was that some support was put in place only s couple of weeks before and then withdrew on me without any warning to pick my daughter up. With the reasoning it was never meant to be long term , but then it was a measure so I wouldn't use all my holiday leave up doing so?

It's a rock and hard place for me. Simple answer is get a better job where I'm valued but then that would impact home life. I need to be at home and in work at the same time. I know I will hit a point where I can't pick between the two but both will be pulling in different directions. I'm dreading that day.

I've just recently moved house as well so that makes it worse in terms of picking up my daughter , it's a five minute walk from the house but not a 5 minute trip from work anymore.

My only option is to stay off as long as possible , hope the scan comes back with issues and I can argue my case to be based at home perminant. But then it renders me stuck in a job where I'm more likely to be told off for doing something great, or have to fight against the above simply for stepping out of line in the process.

Just feel a little helpless , can't do everything but by trying to , I am wasting away when I could be earning far more potentially.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Worth posting in here.

Currently off work with stress , caused by everything around me. My wife is a scan away from being able to be classed as disabled so plenty of the home life is on me , cooking , cleaning etc. Even going as far as school runs , it's down to me to make sure my daughter can get to school every day.

Work wise is extremely stressful for the job itself , it's made worse every poor decision being made. However part of the problem I went off with included how I am treated. Despite my job title being quite low in the order , I have project management , system development , running services , training and producing official documentation etc the list goes on. Yet there is still a do as we say attitude at times , no matter how bad things are. No matter how much I prove myself to be better than my job.

The trigger was that some support was put in place only s couple of weeks before and then withdrew on me without any warning to pick my daughter up. With the reasoning it was never meant to be long term , but then it was a measure so I wouldn't use all my holiday leave up doing so?

It's a rock and hard place for me. Simple answer is get a better job where I'm valued but then that would impact home life. I need to be at home and in work at the same time. I know I will hit a point where I can't pick between the two but both will be pulling in different directions. I'm dreading that day.

I've just recently moved house as well so that makes it worse in terms of picking up my daughter , it's a five minute walk from the house but not a 5 minute trip from work anymore.

My only option is to stay off as long as possible , hope the scan comes back with issues and I can argue my case to be based at home perminant. But then it renders me stuck in a job where I'm more likely to be told off for doing something great, or have to fight against the above simply for stepping out of line in the process.

Just feel a little helpless , can't do everything but by trying to , I am wasting away when I could be earning far more potentially.

Im sorry to hear everything thats going on mate. Thats alot to be dealing with all at the same time. We've mental health issues and disabilities in my family too as well as juggling work also. I know how heavy it can get especially at first when its all mounted up in front of you and you can’t see how you can cope but believe me you will, the most important separates from the rest. You're not invincible though so dont be afraid to ask others for help too even if just to listen and vent to. I hope the wives ok, and hopefully you'll be allowed to work from home. Family is the greatest gift in life @witchdoc187 you're the only Dad your little boys going to have, nobody can take that away from you. Let her rot and dont let her get kicks from hurting you anymore. Stay strong for him, you made a life for the 3 of you in another country- throwing away rubbish and just concentrating on the 2 of you- you can do buddy and Happy birthday mate. @Leylo a chara im proper buzzing mate that you're doing ok, I've been thinking about you alot, I knew their anniversaries were coming up and was nervously checking to see if youd posted. Your mum and dad will be so proud seeing how well you're coping. Are you still bringing your boy to the matches? It must be tough with your dad not going now for the 2 of yous. He'll be watching and fuming a chara from up there though. ?

 

[witchdoc187]

Im sorry to hear everything thats going on mate. Thats alot to be dealing with all at the same time. We've mental health issues and disabilities in my family too as well as juggling work also. I know how heavy it can get especially at first when its all mounted up in front of you and you can’t see how you can cope but believe me you will, the most important separates from the rest. You're not invincible though so dont be afraid to ask others for help too even if just to listen and vent to. I hope the wives ok, and hopefully you'll be allowed to work from home. Family is the greatest gift in life @witchdoc187 you're the only Dad your little boys going to have, nobody can take that away from you. Let her rot and dont let her get kicks from hurting you anymore. Stay strong for him, you made a life for the 3 of you in another country- throwing away rubbish and just concentrating on the 2 of you- you can do buddy and Happy birthday mate. @Leylo a chara im proper buzzing mate that you're doing ok, I've been thinking about you alot, I knew their anniversaries were coming up and was nervously checking to see if youd posted. Your mum and dad will be so proud seeing how well you're coping. Are you still bringing your boy to the matches? It must be tough with your dad not going now for the 2 of yous. He'll be watching and fuming a chara from up there though. ?

Nice to have words of encouragement. They really make a difference. Thanks

 

[witchdoc187]

I bet he will give you lots of birthday kisses and hugs to make your day extra special

I just booked for us to go horse riding in the mountains. He'll love it and no better birthday present then seeing him smiling

 

[witchdoc187]

I just booked for us to go horse riding in the mountains. He'll love it and no better birthday present then seeing him smiling

@Sassy Colombian when I say us, unfortunately just me and him hahaha

 

[witchdoc187]

Understandably so, feel for you x

Thanks for engaging last night. You really helped me when I was having a bad moment. Onwards and sideways

 

[LinekersLegs]

Thanks for engaging last night. You really helped me when I was having a bad moment. Onwards and sideways

Anytime mate. We all have our moments especially at night and I’m often on at late hours compared to Europe timezone - if you ever want someone to talk to just tag me.

The horse-riding trip with your son sounds a great birthday plan, hope you both have a wonderful time x

 

[Leylo]

Im sorry to hear everything thats going on mate. Thats alot to be dealing with all at the same time. We've mental health issues and disabilities in my family too as well as juggling work also. I know how heavy it can get especially at first when its all mounted up in front of you and you can’t see how you can cope but believe me you will, the most important separates from the rest. You're not invincible though so dont be afraid to ask others for help too even if just to listen and vent to. I hope the wives ok, and hopefully you'll be allowed to work from home. Family is the greatest gift in life @witchdoc187 you're the only Dad your little boys going to have, nobody can take that away from you. Let her rot and dont let her get kicks from hurting you anymore. Stay strong for him, you made a life for the 3 of you in another country- throwing away rubbish and just concentrating on the 2 of you- you can do buddy and Happy birthday mate. @Leylo a chara im proper buzzing mate that you're doing ok, I've been thinking about you alot, I knew their anniversaries were coming up and was nervously checking to see if youd posted. Your mum and dad will be so proud seeing how well you're coping. Are you still bringing your boy to the matches? It must be tough with your dad not going now for the 2 of yous. He'll be watching and fuming a chara from up there though. ?

Cheers Joe, still going the game isn't cheering us up at the moment tho .X

 

[Earwigjoe]

Cheers Joe, still going the game isn't cheering us up at the moment tho .X

No mate im sure its not... I've a big birthday coming up in January and my wife told me my idiot kids are trying to send me over for a game even though they know i detest wafa, to make it worse she says its the villa game 2 idiots on show for my birthday. She just laughs when i say im not going. Ah well, great to hear from you buddy, glad you're holding up, a chara, you and your family are in my prayers.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

I just booked for us to go horse riding in the mountains. He'll love it and no better birthday present then seeing him smiling

A horse ride sounds much better than a pillow fight Good job planning something fun for you and your son to do to celebrate your birthday. Riding horses will be a nice experience with your son. And being outside enjoying the beauty of the mountains and breathing some fresh air, hopefully will help lift your spirits too.

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

@Sassy Colombian when I say us, unfortunately just me and him hahaha

Sounds perfect to me ?

 

[witchdoc187]

A horse ride sounds much better than a pillow fight Good job planning something fun for you and your son to do to celebrate your birthday. Riding horses will be a nice experience with your son. And being outside enjoying the beauty of the mountains and breathing some fresh air, hopefully will help lift your spirits too.

I asked him what he wanted to do after and we are going for chicken nuggets and chips at the curry house followed my a trip to the sweet shop. I've not been this excited about a birthday for years.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

I asked him what he wanted to do after and we are going for chicken nuggets and chips at the curry house followed my a trip to the sweet shop. I've not been this excited about a birthday for years.

I’m so happy to hear that your mood has improved and that you’re going to have joyful celebration with your son. This is what you need to continue doing going forward, don’t let your ex dictate your emotions, she doesn’t deserve to have that power over you.