Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Devanski]

@Curtis, you probably knew deep down that reaching out to her was going to disappoint but still had a faint hope that it could be ok. Your worst fear turned out to be confirmed and that has left you to deal with the reality of it all.
You’re right, it has given you closure and now you’re at step 1. Please take the time ahead to focus on yourself and getting to a better place. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find you take some steps backwards as you start your rebuild. Remind yourself that it’s natural to feel deflated whilst processing what is essentially a loss. Keep going, immerse yourself in what makes you feel good.. music, books, exercise, whatever that is and persevere mate.
You will get there and you may be stronger for it.
We’ll still be here should you need it if you have some lows, you only need to reach out as much as you feel necessary.
Good luck on your next journey, stay strong and as positive as possible.
Wishing you all the best mate.

 

[LinekersLegs]

@witchdoc187
Thought I’d move our discussion to this thread.

I‘m not blessed with the best way of phrasing things but really want to help if I can mate as seems like you are going through a tough time.

 

[witchdoc187]

@witchdoc187
Thought I’d move our discussion to this thread.

I‘m not blessed with the best way of phrasing things but really want to help if I can mate as seems like you are going through a tough time.

Thank you. Yeah really hard tbh. But I'm tough for my boy so don't worry about me doing anything stupid. Just hurting. Thanks for taking an interest. Honestly you have no idea how helpful that is

 

[LinekersLegs]

Thank you. Yeah really hard tbh. But I'm tough for my boy so don't worry about me doing anything stupid. Just hurting. Thanks for taking an interest. Honestly you have no idea how helpful that is

We’ve all an Everton family here x

You mentioned you were in Spain - whereabouts? My parents moved out to near Mojacar about 20 years ago and honestly best thing (apart from having me of course ) that they have ever done.

 

[witchdoc187]

@witchdoc187
Thought I’d move our discussion to this thread.

I‘m not blessed with the best way of phrasing things but really want to help if I can mate as seems like you are going through a tough time.

Basically my wife disappeared with my mate. The day she disappeared she went for 3 hours to get the key to his flat in the town nearby. I had to take the morning off work because I couldn't get hold of them. Because the guy was my mate and is also a mess I didn't really believe anything had happened. But when I asked them what had happened when they got back they both lied. Over the next few weeks I helped my wife out loads despite knowing what was going on. She lied about everything after 12 years together. Even after this I tried to reach out and be friends for my son's sake but she continued to lie. Relations have broken down so much and now I'm the bad guy. Just can't get my head around it.

 

[witchdoc187]

We’ve all an Everton family here x

You mentioned you were in Spain - whereabouts? My parents moved out to near Mojacar about 20 years ago and honestly best thing (apart from having me of course ) that they have ever done.

Haha I'm about 40 mins west of Alicante in the mountains. Just pretty lonely mate and been treated like an idiot. Really hurts that I'm somehow the bad guy. Also got nothing to do for my birthday this weekend so feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for your time

 

[LinekersLegs]

Basically my wife disappeared with my mate. The day she disappeared she went for 3 hours to get the key to his flat in the town nearby. I had to take the morning off work because I couldn't get hold of them. Because the guy was my mate and is also a mess I didn't really believe anything had happened. But when I asked them what had happened when they got back they both lied. Over the next few weeks I helped my wife out loads despite knowing what was going on. She lied about everything after 12 years together. Even after this I tried to reach out and be friends for my son's sake but she continued to lie. Relations have broken down so much and now I'm the bad guy. Just can't get my head around it.

I’m so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have done everything you could to retrieve the relationship or at least make it amicable for the sake of your son together. Do you get to see him at all?

 

[witchdoc187]

I’m so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have done everything you could to retrieve the relationship or at least make it amicable for the sake of your son together. Do you get to see him at all?

Yeah all the time. He's my life. She's just very difficult to deal with and I think has mental health issues. Worse than mine. I'm just a bit down. She's just very difficult to deal with. I can pretty much see him whenever and that's all that really matters I guess

 

[LinekersLegs]

Yeah all the time. He's my life. She's just very difficult to deal with and I think has mental health issues. Worse than mine. I'm just a bit down. She's just very difficult to deal with. I can pretty much see him whenever and that's all that really matters I guess

I’m so glad you get to see him regularly, that is so important for both you and him. Is there any chance you would be able to arrange to see him on your birthday and do something with him to celebrate?

 

[witchdoc187]

Yeah all the time. He's my life. She's just very difficult to deal with and I think has mental health issues. Worse than mine. I'm just a bit down. She's just very difficult to deal with. I can pretty much see him whenever and that's all that really matters I guess

She's trying to keep him out of school because of 5g bill gates and other crazy stuff which makes it hard. She then refers to my old neighbor for advice who's just a desperate unemployed stoner. The thought of him having any input into my child's future kills me but she laughs in my face about it. Very difficult to take

 

[LinekersLegs]

She's trying to keep him out of school because of 5g bill gates and other crazy stuff which makes it hard. She then refers to my old neighbor for advice who's just a desperate unemployed stoner. The thought of him having any input into my child's future kills me but she laughs in my face about it. Very difficult to take

As we discussed on the other thread there has sadly been a rise of this with QAnon etc and so you aren’t alone in trying to find ways of dealing with the craziness. Have any of the websites set up by fellow sufferers been any help with ideas to improve the situation or at least coping mechanisms for yourself?

 

[witchdoc187]

As we discussed on the other thread there has sadly been a rise of this with QAnon etc and so you aren’t alone in trying to find ways of dealing with the craziness. Have any of the websites set up by fellow sufferers been any help with ideas to improve the situation or at least coping mechanisms for yourself?

I'll be good. I just saw my neighbor leave her house as my son and I arrived. She was adjusting her underwear and laughing at me. It hurt.

 

[LinekersLegs]

I'll be good. I just saw my neighbor leave her house as my son and I arrived. She was adjusting her underwear and laughing at me. It hurt.

Understandably so, feel for you x

 

[Sassy Colombian]

I'll be good. I just saw my neighbor leave her house as my son and I arrived. She was adjusting her underwear and laughing at me. It hurt.

@witchdoc187 I'm sorry to read that you are feeling down and that you're still dealing with all these issues with your ex-wife. Her actions towards you seem very demeaning, it sounds like her purpose was not only to end the marriage but while at it to also break your spirit. Maybe that's her strategy, to drive you away from your son by hurting you through her actions and words. So don't give her this power, mate. You know you are not the bad guy not matter what she rambles. You didn't cause all this mess, she did! Even if she wants to put the blame on you. You've mentioned here before that the most important thing is your relationship with your son so continue focusing on him, not her. She is his mom and she is going to be around (unless you can get full custody of your boy given her mental health issues?) but you are also going to be around and will be able to influence your son's formation and inculcate him the values that you deem important for him to have.

Now, when it comes to your birthday. May I ask what day that is? And how old would you be? Is there anyway that you could celebrate by having a sleepover with your son? Get a dessert to share, watch a movie together, get into a birthday pillow fight

Lastly, remember you are not alone. Like LL said we all an Everton family. So we are here for moral support and also to send you virtual hugs. I hope you can cheer up soon.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

Sorry for the above post folk, it was me venting my anger at the slap dash, risk averse decision making process that's undertaken to " get people through the system ", not withstanding the clinical needs of the patient. I'm back in at 4:30 till midnight so thank you for putting up with me over the last couple of days.

@Spotty I hope things are going smoothly at work for you this week and that you are not only taking care of your patient’s clinical needs but you are taking care of yourself too! Thanks for all you do!