Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Deleted member 28206]

Lads I’ve got the full house

Bald , grey , fat , short with a cock eye .

God had a day off when I was made

Bald, fat, moobs, short and a limp,

wanna swap?

 

[ChesterBlue]

Been a real rough few weeks for me - been forced to quit my job through essential constructive dismissal / discrimination against my mental health, as a result losing my flat and having to move back with my family, having to break things off with the girl I’m dating due to this, and my family being on tough times with all this happening has been a real strain on my mental health - it just feels like I can’t get a win anywhere and everything’s just gone wrong all at once.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Guys, please stop with I'm ugly fat bald whatever. You are all focussing on the negative things that you don't like about yourselves. Without knowing any of you I bet you will have lovely eyes, a killer smile, a nice bum, there will be loads of positive things about how you look. You've got to be comfortable in your own skin so please be kind to yourselves. Stop beating yourselves up. It makes me sad that you are so tough on yourselves. Love yourselves a bit.

I recommend that you all watch at least one episode of Gok Wan's How To Look Good Naked. The subjects are female but the sentiments fully apply here. It usually makes me cry....the women on the show hate themselves so much it is heartbreaking.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Underneath all of my winter insulation, I am one sexy man.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Been a real rough few weeks for me - been forced to quit my job through essential constructive dismissal / discrimination against my mental health, as a result losing my flat and having to move back with my family, having to break things off with the girl I’m dating due to this, and my family being on tough times with all this happening has been a real strain on my mental health - it just feels like I can’t get a win anywhere and everything’s just gone wrong all at once.

Obviously I don't know the full details of your situation but if you do feel that you have a case of constructive dismissal because of your metal health then you need to fight it. Take it to an Employment Tribunal. If they have failed to make reasonable adjustments for you then your employer is on very dodgy ground.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Been a real rough few weeks for me - been forced to quit my job through essential constructive dismissal / discrimination against my mental health, as a result losing my flat and having to move back with my family, having to break things off with the girl I’m dating due to this, and my family being on tough times with all this happening has been a real strain on my mental health - it just feels like I can’t get a win anywhere and everything’s just gone wrong all at once.

That first part sounds like an issue best left for @anjelikaferrett to see if she has any advice.

The tough times are the best learning experiences. Not easy, not fun, not happy, but a prime opportunity to learn and better yourself. And you can be better because of it.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Guys, please stop with I'm ugly fat bald whatever. You are all focussing on the negative things that you don't like about yourselves. Without knowing any of you I bet you will have lovely eyes, a killer smile, a nice bum, there will be loads of positive things about how you look. You've got to be comfortable in your own skin so please be kind to yourselves. Stop beating yourselves up. It makes me sad that you are so tough on yourselves. Love yourselves a bit.

I recommend that you all watch at least one episode of Gok Wan's How To Look Good Naked. The subjects are female but the sentiments fully apply here. It usually makes me cry....the women on the show hate themselves so much it is heartbreaking.

Love Gok me

 

[Bungle]

Guys, please stop with I'm ugly fat bald whatever. You are all focussing on the negative things that you don't like about yourselves. Without knowing any of you I bet you will have lovely eyes, a killer smile, a nice bum, there will be loads of positive things about how you look. You've got to be comfortable in your own skin so please be kind to yourselves. Stop beating yourselves up. It makes me sad that you are so tough on yourselves. Love yourselves a bit.

I recommend that you all watch at least one episode of Gok Wan's How To Look Good Naked. The subjects are female but the sentiments fully apply here. It usually makes me cry....the women on the show hate themselves so much it is heartbreaking.

It's the only option for us ugly sorts

 

[ChesterBlue]

Obviously I don't know the full details of your situation but if you do feel that you have a case of constructive dismissal because of your metal health then you need to fight it. Take it to an Employment Tribunal. If they have failed to make reasonable adjustments for you then your employer is on very dodgy ground.

True, thanks for the advice, the only issue I may have is the fact that they’ve kept extending my probation period, so I’m not sure I’m covered by any real workers’ rights

 

[The Missing Lineker]

One of my best mates is an alcoholic. Thankfully, showing promising signs of recovery lately but especially over the last 3 years he had seemingly decided to set himself on a course of self-destruction. After my third “concern for welfare” call to the police over that period when he intermittently wasn’t answering his phone or door, his family and friends paid for him to go to a top rehab clinic in London. He wasn’t interested but we practically frog marched him into it. After he was discharged apparently detoxed, he rang me and drunkenly slurring narrated to me how he had cleverly sneaked and hid vodka bottles into his room on days he knew the particular testing personnel were easily manipulated....

Moral of the story is you rarely achieve success putting someone through rehab. They have to put themselves through rehab if there’s going to be a solid foundation for eventual recovery. Don’t think poor Gazza is in that place yet or will ever be.

And I’ve lost him today. My oldest and dearest friend. We grew up together.

Died alone in his flat. Found when his landlord hadn’t heard from him for a couple of days. Called police who found him dead.

Spoke with him 2 weeks ago. Sounded great. We made plans to get together with another mate in the next few weeks. I missed his call 5 days ago. Was meaning to call him back but “too busy”.

Heartbroken. I’m usually telling others to try to let go of negative thoughts but I can’t get rid of a tremendous amount of self-hate right now. Things are raw I know and I should feel better in due course. But he died alone and broken. How the hell do I live with that?

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

And I’ve lost him today. My oldest and dearest friend. We grew up together.

Died alone in his flat. Found when his landlord hadn’t heard from him for a couple of days. Called police who found him dead.

Spoke with him 2 weeks ago. Sounded great. We made plans to get together with another mate in the next few weeks. I missed his call 5 days ago. Was meaning to call him back but “too busy”.

Heartbroken. I’m usually telling others to try to let go of negative thoughts but I can’t get rid of a tremendous amount of self-hate right now. Things are raw I know and I should feel better in due course. But he died alone and broken. How the hell do I live with that?

Sorry for your loss. Dont blame yourself, like you said you can't force people to get help and you can't change them. If you did your best for him and were there when he needed you then you've nothing to beat yourself up for.

Some people are, as you say, set on self destruction. It doesn't make it any easier on those around them, but try to hold on to the good stuff.

Take care.

 

[GARY_EVERTONIAN]

how many of u find royal blue colour soothing and relaxing . I find it very calming , to look at a wall , or poster or shirt Royal blue in colour . And if it has everton badge , it takes me to a parallel world away from this world's tensions .

 

[SiEdmo]

True, thanks for the advice, the only issue I may have is the fact that they’ve kept extending my probation period, so I’m not sure I’m covered by any real workers’ rights

how long had you been there? even if you were on probation if you were there 2 years im sure you may still be entitled to a tribunal, i may be wrong though

 

[anjelikaferrett]

And I’ve lost him today. My oldest and dearest friend. We grew up together.

Died alone in his flat. Found when his landlord hadn’t heard from him for a couple of days. Called police who found him dead.

Spoke with him 2 weeks ago. Sounded great. We made plans to get together with another mate in the next few weeks. I missed his call 5 days ago. Was meaning to call him back but “too busy”.

Heartbroken. I’m usually telling others to try to let go of negative thoughts but I can’t get rid of a tremendous amount of self-hate right now. Things are raw I know and I should feel better in due course. But he died alone and broken. How the hell do I live with that?

I'm so sorry. Don't blame yourself though. Alcoholism is a terrible thing that robs people of everything - job, family, friends. You were a good friend to him. Try to remember the good times you spent together.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

True, thanks for the advice, the only issue I may have is the fact that they’ve kept extending my probation period, so I’m not sure I’m covered by any real workers’ rights

They cannot discriminate against you under the Equality Act regardless of whether you were on probation or not.
If you find yourself with frequent absences from your new role due to ,sickness this may make it more difficult for your employer to properly assess your performance and they may be taking a dim view of your reliability in confirming the role going forward.

Your employer does have to be careful, however, as your sickness may be classified as a disability under the Equality Act, in which case you have protection from unlawful discrimination. Your employer should accordingly be properly investigating the reason for your sickness and consider what reasonable adjustments need to be made. This includes consideration in extending the probationary period, or changes to the workplace to see how your disability can best be accommodated.

So if you have been dismissed/forced to leave because of a known mental health issue you may still have a case.