Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[BernieH]

Just as a side note, I have found quitting the alcohol has helped and given the medication a chance to actually work. So if you are taking meds and still drinking, have a think about it.

 

[andy4efc]

Well here goes, half mental health/half addiction battle. Not sure if the right place but considering the miserable bunch that Everton has made us figured it would be okay.

Finally sat down with my fiance about my gambling addiction on Wednesday evening. Something I've had for many many years since being introduced to it as a teenager. I haven't build up any debts, all there is a £250.00 overdraft which thankfully is payable over a couple of months for us. For a long time I told myself I had control of it and for large parts I did, however over the past six months it has had a serious effect on my mental health and has caused me to dip back into depression, fall out of love with many things (Everton being one of them, although Everton do a fantastic job of that all by themselves.) and lose interest. Barely go out as a couple any more and while our relationship is as strong as ever, the staying in alongside an office job I started two years ago has made me put on loads of weight.

What has been really hurting is the need to go and chase losses and the damaging state it has done to my mental health. I can't do what normal people do in sticking a fiver on acca for the weekend and if it wins great if not no biggie. I constantly have the need to build up the cash, if I lose i go chasing. It is mentally draining, even with deposit limits on as soon as I can deposit I have done. I am not the most mentally strong person anyway, but to have this hiding has absolutely crushed me where every night is pointless, working is pointless despite the money coming in at the end of the month. The feeling of isolation and loneliness spending most of my day gambling online and things 'not going my way' dragging me further and further away from normal society. Constantly seeing adverts on the television or hearing it on the radio. The constant worrying about money has dragged me to an all-time low in my life knowing everytime I deposit I put aspirations on the back burner, make it longer to save money, longer to start a family. Isolation has got bigger and bigger, i have nobody else apart from my fiance to turn to so holding all this inside along with other problems such as the weight-gain etc. I won't be going to any group meetings, the thought of sitting in a group with my severe social anxiety issues are comical. I genuinely think I could have burst out

I don't really know how else to explain it but if you have been there I would naturally assume you can understand just how bad your brain and health becomes the longer you keep doing it and keep hiding it. I have been on a pre-surgery diet for the past week (Although I started a week earlier than that to try and lose as much weight as possible) and have lost two stone and feel ten times better about things even though its unrelated. Having told my fiance, who i feared would be seriously pissed off and wasn't, I feel like a tonne of bricks has been lifted. Almost in tears writing this but figured it would be self-soothing to get it "out on paper" so to speak and perhaps show an example of why hiding it is never a good thing. Also saw someone on this forum make a joke about gambling addiction and wasn't impressed.

Two days without a bet, while I dont want a big sign in the house reminding me how long it has been, figured it would be nice to try and keep here updated and keep track of progress and also go through and read this again when I feel tempted.

Bit of an update. So, today marked the 7 days without a bet. Do wish I could sometimes but have given or even got near going near a bet so positive vibes. I think since last wed I have spent £10.00 (barring our weekly shop), on stuff for work and little bits. Absolute weight lifted.

I'm having Surgery on Saturday and today had a meeting with bosses about the two weeks off. Said since I am excellent and are willing to do a vital piece of work while I'm away (not time consuming but something that has to be done) they're gonna just leave it as if it was just working at home n get full pay.

Later in teh same meeting, said rather than get someone in to help with my heavy workload, they offered me the chance to take more hours and effectively get paid what the apprentice would have been paid. Taking me from £15.7k a year to £20.8k a year. I would have honestly taken £17/18k in a heartbeat. The increase in hours means im not travelling inbetween getting home and going back out which will save money on my fuel and also the miles no the car.

To round it all off, I finally hit the marker of losing two stone in 3 1/2 weeks of dieting.

What a day. Just a notice to say no matter how low you feel, how isolated, how much you hate everything. A week later, with positive attitude, positive dieting, positive people and support you can feel so much better and believe more in life.

 

[Minimeister]

Bit of an update. So, today marked the 7 days without a bet. Do wish I could sometimes but have given or even got near going near a bet so positive vibes. I think since last wed I have spent £10.00 (barring our weekly shop), on stuff for work and little bits. Absolute weight lifted.

I'm having Surgery on Saturday and today had a meeting with bosses about the two weeks off. Said since I am excellent and are willing to do a vital piece of work while I'm away (not time consuming but something that has to be done) they're gonna just leave it as if it was just working at home n get full pay.

Later in teh same meeting, said rather than get someone in to help with my heavy workload, they offered me the chance to take more hours and effectively get paid what the apprentice would have been paid. Taking me from £15.7k a year to £20.8k a year. I would have honestly taken £17/18k in a heartbeat. The increase in hours means im not travelling inbetween getting home and going back out which will save money on my fuel and also the miles no the car.

To round it all off, I finally hit the marker of losing two stone in 3 1/2 weeks of dieting.

What a day. Just a notice to say no matter how low you feel, how isolated, how much you hate everything. A week later, with positive attitude, positive dieting, positive people and support you can feel so much better and believe more in life.

Well done mate, I know how difficult that must be. Can I suggest opening a savings account and putting away some of the pay rise per month, as well as the money you would usually bet and that will be a very rewarding way of showing you how well you've done.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Bit of an update. So, today marked the 7 days without a bet. Do wish I could sometimes but have given or even got near going near a bet so positive vibes. I think since last wed I have spent £10.00 (barring our weekly shop), on stuff for work and little bits. Absolute weight lifted.

I'm having Surgery on Saturday and today had a meeting with bosses about the two weeks off. Said since I am excellent and are willing to do a vital piece of work while I'm away (not time consuming but something that has to be done) they're gonna just leave it as if it was just working at home n get full pay.

Later in teh same meeting, said rather than get someone in to help with my heavy workload, they offered me the chance to take more hours and effectively get paid what the apprentice would have been paid. Taking me from £15.7k a year to £20.8k a year. I would have honestly taken £17/18k in a heartbeat. The increase in hours means im not travelling inbetween getting home and going back out which will save money on my fuel and also the miles no the car.

To round it all off, I finally hit the marker of losing two stone in 3 1/2 weeks of dieting.

What a day. Just a notice to say no matter how low you feel, how isolated, how much you hate everything. A week later, with positive attitude, positive dieting, positive people and support you can feel so much better and believe more in life.

Nice one. Well done.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Bit of an update. So, today marked the 7 days without a bet. Do wish I could sometimes but have given or even got near going near a bet so positive vibes. I think since last wed I have spent £10.00 (barring our weekly shop), on stuff for work and little bits. Absolute weight lifted.

I'm having Surgery on Saturday and today had a meeting with bosses about the two weeks off. Said since I am excellent and are willing to do a vital piece of work while I'm away (not time consuming but something that has to be done) they're gonna just leave it as if it was just working at home n get full pay.

Later in teh same meeting, said rather than get someone in to help with my heavy workload, they offered me the chance to take more hours and effectively get paid what the apprentice would have been paid. Taking me from £15.7k a year to £20.8k a year. I would have honestly taken £17/18k in a heartbeat. The increase in hours means im not travelling inbetween getting home and going back out which will save money on my fuel and also the miles no the car.

To round it all off, I finally hit the marker of losing two stone in 3 1/2 weeks of dieting.

What a day. Just a notice to say no matter how low you feel, how isolated, how much you hate everything. A week later, with positive attitude, positive dieting, positive people and support you can feel so much better and believe more in life.

You've done great there. And it really shows the power of setting yourself goals that are challenging but achievable and sticking to the process.

Inspiring mate, big well done.

 

[BigBlueConk]

Bit of an update. So, today marked the 7 days without a bet. Do wish I could sometimes but have given or even got near going near a bet so positive vibes. I think since last wed I have spent £10.00 (barring our weekly shop), on stuff for work and little bits. Absolute weight lifted.

I'm having Surgery on Saturday and today had a meeting with bosses about the two weeks off. Said since I am excellent and are willing to do a vital piece of work while I'm away (not time consuming but something that has to be done) they're gonna just leave it as if it was just working at home n get full pay.

Later in teh same meeting, said rather than get someone in to help with my heavy workload, they offered me the chance to take more hours and effectively get paid what the apprentice would have been paid. Taking me from £15.7k a year to £20.8k a year. I would have honestly taken £17/18k in a heartbeat. The increase in hours means im not travelling inbetween getting home and going back out which will save money on my fuel and also the miles no the car.

To round it all off, I finally hit the marker of losing two stone in 3 1/2 weeks of dieting.

What a day. Just a notice to say no matter how low you feel, how isolated, how much you hate everything. A week later, with positive attitude, positive dieting, positive people and support you can feel so much better and believe more in life.

Keep it going mate, well done.

 

[BigBlueConk]

Update.


For those who don't know the history here then this might seem trivial but I can only refer you to earlier posts in this forum.

Some of you will recall the stress I was under working as a night manager in Morrisons and all the stuff that came with it.
This is an overview of everything that happened since.

End of July-ish, I was asked by another night manager to come in at short notice and change my days off as he was struggling badly.
Basically, nobody had worked the pet food and household pallets for 2 nights and it was building up and nobody spare to do it.
He said forget about everything else, could I smash my way through the pallets and get them cleared. So I went in at 7pm on a Sunday night and spent 12 hours clearing the back-log. I am already on my mental and physical arse from the year I have had.
Then at 7am the store manager arrives.

He starts berating me about all the work around the shop that hasn't been done.
I point out that it was not my shift and I am in to support and what I have done is what was requested.
He says that it is no excuse. I should be doing A.B.C for him first of all and then the support.
I said no, I didn't even need to come in at all.
He then said you know the process and ways of working and should follow them.
I said he is correct I do know the ways of working and that the decision was made to go the way we did.
Furthermore, if I was to do what he wanted also, I would need to be there about 16 hours.
He repeated "You know the process".

So I flipped.
Calm as you like I told him I know he wants me out. I told him I am not stupid and that I was aware that he and my line manger (his best mate) are trying to manage out anybody who isn't a sheep.
I told him we are both big boys, off the record admit you want me gone and that this bullying is part of your strategy to get rid of me (and a couple of others who get vocal about the free goodwill time they are expected to give)
He asked me if I was accusing him of a witch-hunt. I said that is his choice of word and only he knows if it is true or not.
I told him just sack me. I am not bothered anymore, that I couldn't continue working in that shop anymore with him holding a gun to my head.
This is happening all on the shop floor lads. Shop has been open for 15 minutes.
He said we need to go to the office, we can't have this conversation here.
I said no. I'm going home. Do what you like.
Then something happened.
He said please.

The chat that followed came to a mutual arrangement about working hours.
However, three more grievances landed during August and September and he got moved on by regional bosses.

So move forward to this week.

The new manager has apologies for the experience I have had over the last 12 months.
He has offered to send me to another store for 6 weeks training and give me a fresh start when I finish the training.
I never had any training by the way.
Thing is, I hate the place now. I still dread the thought of being in there. I still get the anxiety and the chest pains.
I told the new guy I will consider it.

Today I have been offered a new job in auditing. Thing is it is a zero hours contract. I would have to spend the first 4 months on £8.50 per hour until I could get a supervisor position.I would need to learn how to use the equipment and apps before any promotion. Which I get.

Should I stay or should I go?

I do think Morrisons 2020 could be a much better place to work than 2019 has been. But my goodwill has towards them has gone and I have no desire to progress or develop.The money is good, but you know what? This whole thing has never been about money for me.

I always say the most valuable thing we have in this life is time and how we choose to spend it.
The work/life balance is crucial for me. But I still have a mortgage to pay.

I guess right now today I feel as positive and content as I have done in a long time. I do feel the journey I have been on and the medication required could have all been avoided if people in power had acted differently.

You can work hard, you can work yourself into an early grave. It doesn't matter how hard you work if somebody above you just doesn't like you.
The thing is, they probably think they are doing a great job and the real problem is you.
And to rub salt into deep wounds, I keep watching Everton!

 

[cronullasharks]

I don't suppose anyone knows what happens on the third miscarriage with the NHS? There is a chance my partner is in the process of having her third. I know you get tests after three but thinking about going private.

Can message me if preferred.

Aware the message sounds a bit corporate but just a bit numb to it all now

Sorry to hear about this mate. My wife and i have been through this so if you need to chat I'm all ears.

 

[sheedy3]

Made redundant a while back...thought it would be grand&it was..last two months im going out of my mind..cant tell anyone because of my position held...is it because ive lost control/direction of my life???Too much drink&back on the cigs(Everton never help !)Am I being a snowflake whinger or geuinely in a wrong place??Dont like to admit "I've a problem"

 

[Frang]

Made redundant a while back...thought it would be grand&it was..last two months im going out of my mind..cant tell anyone because of my position held...is it because ive lost control/direction of my life???Too much drink&back on the cigs(Everton never help !)Am I being a snowflake whinger or geuinely in a wrong place??Dont like to admit "I've a problem"

Depends on how 'bad' things are..

It might be wise to discuss your mood with your GP, and they will be able to diagnose you properly..

I think having lots of time on your hands with little to do doesn't help with mental health, keeping busy often helps out.

 

[sheedy3]

Thanks Frank....cant believe im not telling you to shut up though....

 

[witchdoc187]

I don't really expect anyone to believe this and pretty sure that this is the wrong forum for spirituality but I'm going to say it anyway. My wife consulted a medium who unprompted started telling her about a wandering spirit who had attached itself to me, which has had a negative effect on my personality. She has since banished it and I feel so much better. All this was done without my knowledge. I'm totally shocked by what she said and what happened to me when she was asking the spirit to leave. Anyway, whatever, best of luck to everyone struggling, sometimes you need to look outside of the box for answers.

 

[YoboCopter]

I don't really expect anyone to believe this and pretty sure that this is the wrong forum for spirituality but I'm going to say it anyway. My wife consulted a medium who unprompted started telling her about a wandering spirit who had attached itself to me, which has had a negative effect on my personality. She has since banished it and I feel so much better. All this was done without my knowledge. I'm totally shocked by what she said and what happened to me when she was asking the spirit to leave. Anyway, whatever, best of luck to everyone struggling, sometimes you need to look outside of the box for answers.

Where dya get that wacky backy, i want some?

 

[COYBL25]

Update.


For those who don't know the history here then this might seem trivial but I can only refer you to earlier posts in this forum.

Some of you will recall the stress I was under working as a night manager in Morrisons and all the stuff that came with it.
This is an overview of everything that happened since.

End of July-ish, I was asked by another night manager to come in at short notice and change my days off as he was struggling badly.
Basically, nobody had worked the pet food and household pallets for 2 nights and it was building up and nobody spare to do it.
He said forget about everything else, could I smash my way through the pallets and get them cleared. So I went in at 7pm on a Sunday night and spent 12 hours clearing the back-log. I am already on my mental and physical arse from the year I have had.
Then at 7am the store manager arrives.

He starts berating me about all the work around the shop that hasn't been done.
I point out that it was not my shift and I am in to support and what I have done is what was requested.
He says that it is no excuse. I should be doing A.B.C for him first of all and then the support.
I said no, I didn't even need to come in at all.
He then said you know the process and ways of working and should follow them.
I said he is correct I do know the ways of working and that the decision was made to go the way we did.
Furthermore, if I was to do what he wanted also, I would need to be there about 16 hours.
He repeated "You know the process".

So I flipped.
Calm as you like I told him I know he wants me out. I told him I am not stupid and that I was aware that he and my line manger (his best mate) are trying to manage out anybody who isn't a sheep.
I told him we are both big boys, off the record admit you want me gone and that this bullying is part of your strategy to get rid of me (and a couple of others who get vocal about the free goodwill time they are expected to give)
He asked me if I was accusing him of a witch-hunt. I said that is his choice of word and only he knows if it is true or not.
I told him just sack me. I am not bothered anymore, that I couldn't continue working in that shop anymore with him holding a gun to my head.
This is happening all on the shop floor lads. Shop has been open for 15 minutes.
He said we need to go to the office, we can't have this conversation here.
I said no. I'm going home. Do what you like.
Then something happened.
He said please.

The chat that followed came to a mutual arrangement about working hours.
However, three more grievances landed during August and September and he got moved on by regional bosses.

So move forward to this week.

The new manager has apologies for the experience I have had over the last 12 months.
He has offered to send me to another store for 6 weeks training and give me a fresh start when I finish the training.
I never had any training by the way.
Thing is, I hate the place now. I still dread the thought of being in there. I still get the anxiety and the chest pains.
I told the new guy I will consider it.

Today I have been offered a new job in auditing. Thing is it is a zero hours contract. I would have to spend the first 4 months on £8.50 per hour until I could get a supervisor position.I would need to learn how to use the equipment and apps before any promotion. Which I get.

Should I stay or should I go?

I do think Morrisons 2020 could be a much better place to work than 2019 has been. But my goodwill has towards them has gone and I have no desire to progress or develop.The money is good, but you know what? This whole thing has never been about money for me.

I always say the most valuable thing we have in this life is time and how we choose to spend it.
The work/life balance is crucial for me. But I still have a mortgage to pay.

I guess right now today I feel as positive and content as I have done in a long time. I do feel the journey I have been on and the medication required could have all been avoided if people in power had acted differently.

You can work hard, you can work yourself into an early grave. It doesn't matter how hard you work if somebody above you just doesn't like you.
The thing is, they probably think they are doing a great job and the real problem is you.
And to rub salt into deep wounds, I keep watching Everton!

Having read your summary there, it looks to me like they`re trying to cover their arses just in case you decide to take legal action against the firm.

The fact that the original manager has been moved and the new manager has apologised about the way you`ve been treated says to me that they have known what`s been going on and belatedly taken steps to remedy it.

The position they are offering you is a massive step down, however they dress it up and also zero hours means zero rights ( as I`m sure you`re well aware off )

Why should you be punished for the misdeeds of someone higher up than you, who by the sounds of it has been moved sideways and out of the way ?
I`m no expert mate and I`m sure @anjelikaferrett can give you sound advice, but if that was me I`d be taking legal advice before I did anything.

 

[witchdoc187]

Where dya get that wacky backy, i want some?

I've been completely tee total for 53.days mate. My life has completely changed overnight. Not really my thing either mate but it's worked. I don't expect anyone to take it seriously but there you go.