canuckblue
Player Valuation: £50m
I would imagine you're all shook up.
Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
I would imagine you're all shook up.
bigbadjeff
Player Valuation: £15m
A huh huh !
Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £80m
My electrician mate cut the wires to an ice making factory.
It's gone into the liquidation.
It's gone into the liquidation.
Sharpattack
Player Valuation: £35m
Don't be cruel
Kurt.
Player Valuation: £100m
canuckblue
Player Valuation: £50m
He's staying in the Heartbreak Hotel for a few days.
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
He's all shook up.
An art thief breaks into the Louvre.
Through careful studying of the building plans and months of meticulous planning, he was able to evade all the security and stole several priceless paintings.
He then loaded the paintings into his van parked nearby. Just as he was about to leave, he heard the alarm go off in the building.
Without a moment's hesitation, he kicked the van into high gear and sped away. However, his van ran out of gas less than 5 minutes later, and he was caught and arrested by the police.
"I don't understand", Said the police officer. "How could you plan all that so carefully, yet forget to fill up your gas tank?"
To which the thief replied: "But monsieur! Zat is exactly why I stole ze paintings! I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make ze Van Gogh!"
Through careful studying of the building plans and months of meticulous planning, he was able to evade all the security and stole several priceless paintings.
He then loaded the paintings into his van parked nearby. Just as he was about to leave, he heard the alarm go off in the building.
Without a moment's hesitation, he kicked the van into high gear and sped away. However, his van ran out of gas less than 5 minutes later, and he was caught and arrested by the police.
"I don't understand", Said the police officer. "How could you plan all that so carefully, yet forget to fill up your gas tank?"
To which the thief replied: "But monsieur! Zat is exactly why I stole ze paintings! I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make ze Van Gogh!"
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
How does Moses make his tea ?
Hebrews it.
No, I'm serious, that Israeli how he does it.
Hebrews it.
No, I'm serious, that Israeli how he does it.
AndyC
Player Valuation: £70m
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy.
He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner."
He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner."
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
How much does a lizard weigh ?
Depends on the scales.
Depends on the scales.
When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now.
- Bob Monkouse
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