Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Brett Angell Delight]

I understand what you are going through because I have been through a similar situation. Spending time at home all the time with kids, trying to start a business and only your spouse for adult conversation can be isolating as well as stressful. I've been there!! No offense to spouses! haha

If you don't have friends locally to meet with occasionally, maybe try going out somewhere to watch a match or take a night class. There is also a website I've used called www.meetup.com It's a site where you can find local groups near you with interests you like such as hiking, writing, business networking, etc.

Even though you said your wife is working very hard, I guarantee you have the harder job right now, especially with the ages of your kids. Make sure you have time to work on your projects, so you are not sacrificing your goals for her goals.

And of course, we are all here for you...at different times of the day obviously!

Thank you! Excellent advice, as seems to be the case throughout this thread.

Even just typing that last night was cathartic, and I am going to try to effect actual change in the coming weeks rather than just stewing on it all.

I’m pretty sure Vegas never sleeps, so I’ll expect timely responses to all posts!!!

Thanks again.

 

[David09]

I really feel for you.

Being cheated on is the worst experience anyone can go through. I'd rather be physically assaulted than go through it. I love my Mrs to death and she has given me no reason whatsoever for me not to trust her but I still have a huge fear of it happening to me. I have spoken to a counsellor about this and it is apparently due to the fact I had such an unhappy 10 year marriage to someone I didn't love, now I do have someone I am scared to lose these feelings have manifested themselves.

You hear about it happening all the time, it is almost glamourised in the media and on TV (Love Island, Strictly etc). I think anyone who does it is absolutely vile and I just hope karma catches up with them.

My heart goes out to you mate. With regards to your ex and her antics, just control what you can control. Try not to get engaged in battles you can't win. It's so hard to let some things go over your head when you arent in the wrong but try and resist the temptation to react, its probably what she wants. Let time pass and use your legal rights if need be. Speak to a solicitor if needs be, most offer free initial consultations. Genuinely wish you all the best. I was in a very similar predicament around 4 years ago and was almost pushed to breaking point but things can get better trust me, and I am sure they will for you.

Thanks mate.
Your email made me laugh and smile as I had the black eye off her a few years a go. I hid the truth to protect her job as a secondary school teacher but I do have a photograph to remind me of it. It haunts me.
But it's a struggle at the moment especially hearing my daughter blame me.
I do need to be honest and say I was never the perfect husband but I've surely not deserved all of this.
Life can only get better I suppose. I just need to get Christmas out of the way.

 

[David09]

To here your 13 year old daughter over the phone this evening say "your boring dad , your stories and you in general are very repetitive and you frustrate me and make me angry". Wow what another kick in the teeth.
This comes just a couple of weeks after she demanded her £30 pocket money( with her mum's backing) for the month and would not except my explanation that children earn pocket money for doing chores round the house and also with good behaviour not dictate when pocket money is due. But she just would not accept my reasoning and her and her mum demanded it that day.
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle at this moment and it really doesn't matter what I say or do for anyone.

 

[COYBL25]

To here your 13 year old daughter over the phone this evening say "your boring dad , your stories and you in general are very repetitive and you frustrate me and make me angry". Wow what another kick in the teeth.
This comes just a couple of weeks after she demanded her £30 pocket money( with her mum's backing) for the month and would not except my explanation that children earn pocket money for doing chores round the house and also with good behaviour not dictate when pocket money is due. But she just would not accept my reasoning and her and her mum demanded it that day.
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle at this moment and it really doesn't matter what I say or do for anyone.

Sounds like she`s taken sides ( for the moment anyway ).

Maybe back off for a while ?

 

[Groucho]

Just checking in folks.

Had a well bad time lately, saw my GP and all is in hand.

Not straightforward by any means but on the right road.

Seek help folks, life is better.

 

[Nymzee]

To here your 13 year old daughter over the phone this evening say "your boring dad , your stories and you in general are very repetitive and you frustrate me and make me angry". Wow what another kick in the teeth.
This comes just a couple of weeks after she demanded her £30 pocket money( with her mum's backing) for the month and would not except my explanation that children earn pocket money for doing chores round the house and also with good behaviour not dictate when pocket money is due. But she just would not accept my reasoning and her and her mum demanded it that day.
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle at this moment and it really doesn't matter what I say or do for anyone.

I know they’re family but you’re going through a rough, seemingly unjust, time. Don’t pander to their whim even if they’re your flesh and blood. They’ll respect you more when they’re older for it. Your daughter is still being well looked after with or without you giving her pocket money. Too many spoiled uppity kids around these days.

 

[Nymzee]

Just checking in folks.

Had a well bad time lately, saw my GP and all is in hand.

Not straightforward by any means but on the right road.

Seek help folks, life is better.

Well done for going straight to see someone mate. Quicker the better really.

I recently saw my GP too for the first time. Thankfully she gave me the power to choose medicine or a little place called First Step to help me. Not took the plunge and contacted them yet as the phone consultation seems daunting.

 

[Groucho]

Well done for going straight to see someone mate. Quicker the better really.

I recently saw my GP too for the first time. Thankfully she gave me the power to choose medicine or a little place called First Step to help me. Not took the plunge and contacted them yet as the phone consultation seems daunting.

Needed to be done. Not the first time, so did it.

 

[Creature]

Well done for going straight to see someone mate. Quicker the better really.

I recently saw my GP too for the first time. Thankfully she gave me the power to choose medicine or a little place called First Step to help me. Not took the plunge and contacted them yet as the phone consultation seems daunting.

I've done Fist Step consultation a few years ago now (not sure if it was called first step in them days but it's the number the gp's gave out at the time) and it is hard picking up the phone to call them but try not to worry about it. The first call was to arrange a time when I had 20-30 mins to answer a few questions. When they call back at the arranged time the 30 min chat basically consists of what sort of issues you are having and what frame of mind you are in and your feelings of what you think you can do about your situation with or without further help from them.
It is basically like a triage system like they use in hospitals to see who they think needs immediate help or attention and may need urgent councelling and who they feel is possibly a danger to themselves or others.

If your gp gave you the option of no meds then I'd guess (and only a guess) that you are not in the danger category. The follow up depends on what sort of answers you give and also the likely 'treatment' such as just further chats on the phone with councelors or possibly visits to a centre for these chats.

The downside for me was it was a year before they ever got in touch again by which time my head was clear and issues, although not resolved personally, I had come to terms with and dealt with them over time (time, if you have it, being a great healer). So when they did contact me I politely informed them I didn't need to go over and revisit those issues.

It was probably around the same time my gp asked how I was getting on with that service and he literally blew his top at their unprofessional behaviour and lack of care and went on to make a formal complaint.

I only add the last note of caution as these services are (or were) paid per referral so if they don't contact you promptly and put something in place for you then go back to the gp and let them know. Not all of these services are the same of course but the ones that take the money and do nothing have to be removed from the gp referral lists as they are certainly not doing what they are paid for.

It does no harm to make the call and your doing it from your own home so if it's recommended then give it a go. It's always up to you to decide if you think they can help and if not and you still need help or advice then go back to the gp.

I learnt a long time ago that letting things stew and build up is, or can be, more depressing and destructive than opening up about it. The human mind can be a great thing but just as easily torment you and there is help out there if you're willing to accept it...even just a little

Sorry to go on but I hope this helps a bit

 

[efcforever]

Just checking in folks.

Had a well bad time lately, saw my GP and all is in hand.

Not straightforward by any means but on the right road.

Seek help folks, life is better.

I wish you all the best mate. As you know, it gets better.

 

[COYBL25]

Well done for going straight to see someone mate. Quicker the better really.

I recently saw my GP too for the first time. Thankfully she gave me the power to choose medicine or a little place called First Step to help me. Not took the plunge and contacted them yet as the phone consultation seems daunting.

As @Creature said, there`s nothing to worry about with phone consults, as all they`re trying to do is gauge where you are at mentally.

Plus the interview seems to be pretty much standard, possibly read from a script, with room to expand the questions depending on the answers.

The people on the end of the phone are ( should be ) very well trained, so you`re not going to get some bored teenager in a call centre.

 

[David09]

Well done for going straight to see someone mate. Quicker the better really.

I recently saw my GP too for the first time. Thankfully she gave me the power to choose medicine or a little place called First Step to help me. Not took the plunge and contacted them yet as the phone consultation seems daunting.

I've also recently had the 45 minute phone consultation and I'm awaiting my next appointment.
It felt good to get things off my chest and the junior doctor was absolutely fantastic and listened to everything I had to say. I don't need meds either. Just waiting for the next appointment but I'm so glad I did it.
Nothing to be scared of honestly. It was upsetting to be so honest with myself and the doctor but I'm so glad I took that first step and hopefully I'm on my way to better mental health in the long run.

 

[kithnou]

Popping in for a hello after a while.

Hope everyone is well

 

[summerisle]

Popping in for a hello after a while.

Hope everyone is well

Where's the prediction thread FFS ?

 

[messymascot]

I'm struggling at the moment as I'm down on my luck. Just been made redundant from my job. I also really like a lady but she has no interest in me except friendship. All my friends are settled with families I'm the only single person in the group. Recently I've been putting negative statuses on Facebook and although people try to help I don't think they really understand. I've come on here as I hope maybe to get some objective advise as non of you know me and will be easier for you not to just make an opinion based on me rather than my symptoms. I've avoided professional help as it takes so long to get to some one and I also would feel uneasy as I have trust issues. In a professional situation they are not going to let you know about them and for me to talk to people I need give and take. I seem to go from being really happy to really sad very quickly. I'm not a danger to myself as I've made promises to people and they are people I would never let down. However sometimes I feel things would be so much simpler if I wasn't here.