Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[EFCPaul]

remember mate, if shes a mum she will likely have priorities with her kids? It's normal for a parent to be busy during the week ( not sure if you're a parent to know this ) you'll have to play the long game with her if you're keen, she's obviously shown an interest by sharing her number.. Just drop a note to her saying words to the effect of you're ' around for her when she is free '.

Nah mate I don't see it. I messaged her on Tuesday just asking what she was up too and got nothing back. Had nothing since either. Resisted the urge to message her again at the consequence of looking like a needy fanny. My common sense is telling me to just assume she's changed her mind but doesn't have the bottle to say so so instead she's just decided to blank the whole thing and I'll get the message. Meant to be in with her next on Sunday, if I see her I'm going to just keep it civil but nothing more.

 

[Jokerdan]

So sorry to read that mate, heartbreaking.

I've never lost someone close to me to suicide (knock on wood I never will) but I have felt suicidal myself a few times, fairly recently as well, and each time I didn't really stop to consider how actually committing the act would impact my loved ones and close friends. Afterwards when I've calmed down I have thought to myself "thank God I didn't go through with it there, the pain I've have wreaked on so many people's lives would be unforgivable".

Suicidal feelings are like falling off a cliff in your own head, it all just escalates so quickly and people don't think clearly in the moment which makes it such a heartbreaking thing, so many people could be saved if they'd just reached out instead of hoping in vain that someone could do the impossible and read their mind for them. I'm assuming he hid from you how badly he was struggling because that's what most people in that state do sadly. We can't see depression, it's not a physical thing on the body, therefore there's no way of knowing a person has it unless they find the courage to speak about it. You'll always have "what ifs" throughout your life, some bigger deals than others, but you have to try to put them behind you and just focus on going forwards because dwelling on the past is not the way to live a happy life. I'm 100% certain that if your mate's ghost could come back and talk to you today one last time he would ask you not to feel guilty, he would not want his troubles to become your troubles, for you to burden yourself over something he did.

Your lack of sleep is something I can relate too, I was the exact same a few months ago. Would only manage a few hours a night because I lay awake going over my negative emotions and would go into work the next morning with a brain that was very low on fuel. By the afternoon time it would completely give out and fall out of the sky so the result was me becoming a very grouchy, miserable person to everyone I interacted with which in turn caused my depression to just get even worse. Go see your doctor and tell them how you're feeling, he or she will likely refer you to an organisation where you can talk to a professional about your feelings about your mate and help you get past it. They'll also likely prescribe some sleeping tablets, just a small dose to do you a couple of days to help you get your sleeping pattern back. All of this happened with me and I feel so much better than I did around Christmas time. You can get there too, just make the first step and the rest of the way will be easier.

Stay in touch.

My, how you've turned around. Absolutely brilliant and just sends out a message to others who are in a state of low mood (as distinct from clinically diagnosed depression - respect and love to anyone in that category) that there are hurdles to face in life that must be overcome but with the knowledge that you are not alone, that there are good people out there who care for you and such experiences will ultimately only make you stronger as a person then the future is bright. Just learn to accept the odd knock, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on. The world will continue to turn and you are an important part of it and can use your experiences to help others in similar circumstances. But remember, any advice must be tempered with reference to seeking professional help if felt appropriate. Otherwise, keep moving forward Paul.

 

[Groucho]

Had a tough few weeks my heads absolutely battered. Nearly 2 years ago one of my best friends committed suicide and to be completely honest I've never been the same since. Not a day goes by were I don't think about him and I start to blame myself about how I could have done more to stop it from happening with something as simple as a phone call or a text.

These feelings got worse over the last few weeks when another friend lost their dad and while consoling her all the feelings I had when I found out about my friend passing away came flooding back. It's really effecting me as I have trouble sleeping as I lie there thinking then end up having only a couple of hours sleep a night. This then means I'm tired the next day and I'm dead miserable and snap a lot more at the stupidest things in work. It's also effecting me socially as I just can't be bothered doing anything as I'm feeling tired and down and becoming a lot more distant to people I was previously very close with. I just don't know how to get out of this slump as I feel to embarrassed to talk to people I actually know in person about this.

Get down to see your GP mate.

 

[EFCPaul]

At home now, have had my tea and in my dressing gown feeling fully relaxed. For the first time all day I'm able to think clearly.

Earlier today I experienced what can only be described as a mental break. Not a complete physical meltdown where I bawled my eyes out and people had to console me (I have had those before) because I managed to keep a lid on inner-turmoil, but mentally I was in excruciating pain. Colleagues and customers noticed how bad I was but no one said anything to me other than "you're a bit quiet today" probably because they thought I needed space. I just told people I didn't feel well and they then left me alone but did seem to be treading on eggshells around me. Most just gave me a wide berth because of the strong negative chi I was giving off.

I went all morning virtually without saying more than 3 words to anybody and with a VERY sad look and demeanour. I didn't intend to make my colleagues feel awkward but I was just so badly all over the place and couldn't get my head together at all. Every moment I wasn't posting in here about my deep insecurities I was just staring into space, lost in my own world that was filled with sadness.

Thankfully in the afternoon I managed to perk up a bit. I spoke to a family member and then one of my close mates on the phone during my dinner hour and just hearing their voices helped settle me again. I managed to gather myself and although the rest of the day was no picnic I did manage to get through it feeling no way near as bad. At one point I managed a genuine laugh and caught a colleague smile slightly, probably relieved that I seemed to be alright after observing how I was in the morning.


My insecurities have wreaked havoc on me the past couple of days for what I think is several reasons;

1. About a week ago I ran out of my medication and haven't picked up my repeat prescription yet
2. I was EXTREMELY tired, I had about 3 hours sleep before an early morning start. My brain was completely fried.
3. The feeling of being so close to what you think is happiness feels too good to be true so you convince yourself it's all a con and isn't real.


I honestly have no idea what's going with this girl I like. The only facts I have is she gave me her number, she said she'd let me know when she's free and she seems to enjoy my company when we're together. Therefore I have no strong reasoning really to assume she's suddenly gone cold and doesn't want anything to do with me other than the fact I haven't heard from her in a few days. I'll just have to see her on Sunday and see what the deal is for myself, hopefully it's not what I suggested above but there's no way of knowing that yet.

Thanks to everybody for caring, I'm going to get back on the meds ASAP and make sure I get more sleep. That will make a cheerier, healthier me and that type of me is the person who's most likely to get somewhere good in life. I'll keep you all updated.

 

[COYBL25]

At home now, have had my tea and in my dressing gown feeling fully relaxed. For the first time all day I'm able to think clearly.

Earlier today I experienced what can only be described as a mental break. Not a complete physical meltdown where I bawled my eyes out and people had to console me (I have had those before) because I managed to keep a lid on inner-turmoil, but mentally I was in excruciating pain. Colleagues and customers noticed how bad I was but no one said anything to me other than "you're a bit quiet today" probably because they thought I needed space. I just told people I didn't feel well and they then left me alone but did seem to be treading on eggshells around me. Most just gave me a wide berth because of the strong negative chi I was giving off.

I went all morning virtually without saying more than 3 words to anybody and with a VERY sad look and demeanour. I didn't intend to make my colleagues feel awkward but I was just so badly all over the place and couldn't get my head together at all. Every moment I wasn't posting in here about my deep insecurities I was just staring into space, lost in my own world that was filled with sadness.

Thankfully in the afternoon I managed to perk up a bit. I spoke to a family member and then one of my close mates on the phone during my dinner hour and just hearing their voices helped settle me again. I managed to gather myself and although the rest of the day was no picnic I did manage to get through it feeling no way near as bad. At one point I managed a genuine laugh and caught a colleague smile slightly, probably relieved that I seemed to be alright after observing how I was in the morning.


My insecurities have wreaked havoc on me the past couple of days for what I think is several reasons;

1. About a week ago I ran out of my medication and haven't picked up my repeat prescription yet
2. I was EXTREMELY tired, I had about 3 hours sleep before an early morning start. My brain was completely fried.
3. The feeling of being so close to what you think is happiness feels too good to be true so you convince yourself it's all a con and isn't real.


I honestly have no idea what's going with this girl I like. The only facts I have is she gave me her number, she said she'd let me know when she's free and she seems to enjoy my company when we're together. Therefore I have no strong reasoning really to assume she's suddenly gone cold and doesn't want anything to do with me other than the fact I haven't heard from her in a few days. I'll just have to see her on Sunday and see what the deal is for myself, hopefully it's not what I suggested above but there's no way of knowing that yet.

Thanks to everybody for caring, I'm going to get back on the meds ASAP and make sure I get more sleep. That will make a cheerier, healthier me and that type of me is the person who's most likely to get somewhere good in life. I'll keep you all updated.

Please don't go into work tomorrow mate, go sick and pick up your meds.

The fact that you've missed a week, means there're fully out of your system, hence the way your feeling ( all over the place).

I don't know your domestic set up mate, but you can't do this by yourself. There's going to have to be someone to support you - mum/dad/ /sister/brother/friend.

The more you try to handle it by yourself, the more the pressure builds up and makes everything so much worse.

 

[Jokerdan]

At home now, have had my tea and in my dressing gown feeling fully relaxed. For the first time all day I'm able to think clearly.

Earlier today I experienced what can only be described as a mental break. Not a complete physical meltdown where I bawled my eyes out and people had to console me (I have had those before) because I managed to keep a lid on inner-turmoil, but mentally I was in excruciating pain. Colleagues and customers noticed how bad I was but no one said anything to me other than "you're a bit quiet today" probably because they thought I needed space. I just told people I didn't feel well and they then left me alone but did seem to be treading on eggshells around me. Most just gave me a wide berth because of the strong negative chi I was giving off.

I went all morning virtually without saying more than 3 words to anybody and with a VERY sad look and demeanour. I didn't intend to make my colleagues feel awkward but I was just so badly all over the place and couldn't get my head together at all. Every moment I wasn't posting in here about my deep insecurities I was just staring into space, lost in my own world that was filled with sadness.

Thankfully in the afternoon I managed to perk up a bit. I spoke to a family member and then one of my close mates on the phone during my dinner hour and just hearing their voices helped settle me again. I managed to gather myself and although the rest of the day was no picnic I did manage to get through it feeling no way near as bad. At one point I managed a genuine laugh and caught a colleague smile slightly, probably relieved that I seemed to be alright after observing how I was in the morning.


My insecurities have wreaked havoc on me the past couple of days for what I think is several reasons;

1. About a week ago I ran out of my medication and haven't picked up my repeat prescription yet
2. I was EXTREMELY tired, I had about 3 hours sleep before an early morning start. My brain was completely fried.
3. The feeling of being so close to what you think is happiness feels too good to be true so you convince yourself it's all a con and isn't real.


I honestly have no idea what's going with this girl I like. The only facts I have is she gave me her number, she said she'd let me know when she's free and she seems to enjoy my company when we're together. Therefore I have no strong reasoning really to assume she's suddenly gone cold and doesn't want anything to do with me other than the fact I haven't heard from her in a few days. I'll just have to see her on Sunday and see what the deal is for myself, hopefully it's not what I suggested above but there's no way of knowing that yet.

Thanks to everybody for caring, I'm going to get back on the meds ASAP and make sure I get more sleep. That will make a cheerier, healthier me and that type of me is the person who's most likely to get somewhere good in life. I'll keep you all updated.

Ah, man - so sorry to hear this. I really thought you had turned the corner. The thing is with what you are currently going through the slightest little knock back is magnified a hundred fold in your mind when, if you were on top form mentally and physically, you would otherwise just shrug it off.
I think that what you must not do is set too many goals for yourself at this stage including this girl you are keen on. Learn to raise your demeanor - by that l mean trying to avoid showing a withdrawn and introspective Paulie as it is people's perception of you that either draws them to us or makes them avoid us. We all like to be around people who make us feel good and l guess any negativity works the opposite.
It is a rocky road - l have travelled it, believe me - but as soon as l began to understand the role perception has in life the quicker it was for me to come to terms with my feelings and begin to feel better in myself.
A little trick I used (and still do on occasions) is to wear an elastic band on my wrist and whenever l felt/feel l was getting a little subdued l would snap it onto my wrist - the sharp sting reminds me of the need to just smile and surprisingly the act of just doing that raises my feeling of self esteem.
As l say, it is a journey and you will get there but the first part is learning to love yourself. And keep taking the meds - they have been prescribed for a reason.

 

[granter79]

Some good news after some good advice on here from all the wonderful folk
Struggling and hating work the last year which got even worse after losing my mother in Nov. Been in and out of work the last while due to stress and anxiety mainly down to my new boss who is a serious witch.
So took 2 weeks off to chill. Looked around at jobs and had 2 interviews with company I really fancied.
Got my informal offer yesterday so waiting to be approved next week and I will be on my way out of this poisonous office. Full of horrible negative people that I don't need in my life.

I know a number of people are in the same boat but if you can out yourself first and start taken steps I am a firm believer in good things happen to good people if you work at it. I didn't feel that way after losing my mother and also my father but I have my own young family so dragged myself up to help us all through it.

I havnt even start dealing with my loss but I am in a better place to start the heeling which from experience takes an age but its little steps.

Fact we are on the road to an amazing future on and off the pitch the good karma is slowing returning.

 

[Frank Gallagher]

going on a 4 day booze binge stag doo to Barca, hasn't helped me whatsoever. ive come back feeling really down, probably from the booze, I didn't really enjoy it while I was over there to be honest, and knew it would set me back once I got back. I hadn't drank anything really for the last few weeks, and was starting to feel like I was getting somewhere.

I was meant to go to the docs this morning, but have missed my appointment. I'm all out of meds, so I think I will just have to ring up and try and get a repeat prescription?

one step forwards and 2 steps back is how I'm feeling today..

 

[COYBL25]

going on a 4 day booze binge stag doo to Barca, hasn't helped me whatsoever. ive come back feeling really down, probably from the booze, I didn't really enjoy it while I was over there to be honest, and knew it would set me back once I got back. I hadn't drank anything really for the last few weeks, and was starting to feel like I was getting somewhere.

I was meant to go to the docs this morning, but have missed my appointment. I'm all out of meds, so I think I will just have to ring up and try and get a repeat prescription?

one step forwards and 2 steps back is how I'm feeling today..

Ale is a killer mate, as it's a depressant, so you feel great, then go on a mad downer afterwards.

The Irish have a phrase for it - " the fear ". Which I thinks sums up hangovers whilst suffering from depression / anxiety petrectly.

The hangover tips the chemical imbalance in your head even further out of kilter, hence why you feel so low the morning after.

You need to find the amount of ale that you can drink and still function normally the following day ( mine is four pints )

I'd go to the GP's today if you can and get your script sorted, otherwise you'll be waiting until Monday to get it.

 

[EFCPaul]

Feeling a bit melancholy today. Meeting some mates later on but for now I'm going to go the gym and lift some weights.

Sunday will be interesting. I hope that me and the girl will pick up where we left off and have that spark again, I'll feel that all that angst this week has been over nothing. If we don't and she's not interested anymore it will be a big downer no doubt but I'll have to accept it I guess and move forward as best as I can. Trying to not to think about it between now and then but it's very hard, especially without the meds.

My repeat prescription will be ready for me to pick up on Monday but between then and now it's going to be tough, will just have to keep my mind occupied as best as I can.

 

[Kenshin]

Feeling a bit melancholy today. Meeting some mates later on but for now I'm going to go the gym and lift some weights.

Sunday will be interesting. I hope that me and the girl will pick up where we left off and have that spark again, I'll feel that all that angst this week has been over nothing. If we don't and she's not interested anymore it will be a big downer no doubt but I'll have to accept it I guess and move forward as best as I can. Trying to not to think about it between now and then but it's very hard, especially without the meds.

My repeat prescription will be ready for me to pick up on Monday but between then and now it's going to be tough, will just have to keep my mind occupied as best as I can.

I have been reading your recent postings and wanted to reply but others offered similar words so i left it.

So this young woman has a child right? Single parent? Working single parent? That all true?

reason why i say that is that it tells me that you need to kinda finalise what sort of man you want to be to her. If you want to be the fella who deamnds her attention then may as well give up and move on. However she swapped numbers, said she would be interested in going out sometime, there is your answer right there. Yes she might not have caqme back to you straight away but that does not mean anything other than her life has been too busy straight after you mentioned it to her. Don't be phased about it, go in on sunday, chat with her and just in conversation ask her if she has been busy recently and she will almost definently say she has been. Just ask her in person if she will be free this week and essentially remember she needs to play it by ear, because who minds her child when she wants to arrange her date with you for example? What is the kids dad is being an arse and letting her down? What if she has other things going on? etc YOu get my point.

If you want any sort of chance with her then believe me you need to be the fella who appreciates her circumstances and absolutely waits for her because she is worth it, if you know what i mean.

 

[Kenshin]

going on a 4 day booze binge stag doo to Barca, hasn't helped me whatsoever. ive come back feeling really down, probably from the booze, I didn't really enjoy it while I was over there to be honest, and knew it would set me back once I got back. I hadn't drank anything really for the last few weeks, and was starting to feel like I was getting somewhere.

I was meant to go to the docs this morning, but have missed my appointment. I'm all out of meds, so I think I will just have to ring up and try and get a repeat prescription?

one step forwards and 2 steps back is how I'm feeling today..

Sounds very abrupt here wizard mate but, don't let it set you back? I think it sounds a little bit like you are using the bender as a reasoning for feeling like you do, if that makes sense, when the real reasons would be mainly the stag do being a disappointment and not having your meds. The alcohol sure would have given you a downer of sorts afterwards with the hangovers but perhaps you are using alcohol in this situation to essentially push blame from other things as a way to label your feelings that have come back without the meds in your system?

If you have been an alcoholic in the past then apologies, my words are meaningless then but if it is just a case of as you put it in the post above then maybe that is why you feel more low than usual? You are looking to justify the low mood far beyond simply the meds because deep down you don't want to be taking them?

I'm being very presumptuous there so tell me to do one if i am wrong in guessing here.

 

[Frank Gallagher]

Sounds very abrupt here wizard mate but, don't let it set you back? I think it sounds a little bit like you are using the bender as a reasoning for feeling like you do, if that makes sense, when the real reasons would be mainly the stag do being a disappointment and not having your meds. The alcohol sure would have given you a downer of sorts afterwards with the hangovers but perhaps you are using alcohol in this situation to essentially push blame from other things as a way to label your feelings that have come back without the meds in your system?

If you have been an alcoholic in the past then apologies, my words are meaningless then but if it is just a case of as you put it in the post above then maybe that is why you feel more low than usual? You are looking to justify the low mood far beyond simply the meds because deep down you don't want to be taking them?

I'm being very presumptuous there so tell me to do one if i am wrong in guessing here.

no I think you might be right, and I'm just on a downer from the stag doo. Ringing the docs at 4pm to see if they have managed to do my repeat prescription.

 

[jinkyali]

From your experiences, does taking the meds work?

I am awaiting some CBT for anxiety and have staved going on meds but finding it harder as the CBT draws closer .

Most people I speak to on it think I should give the meds ago (to increase my serotonin ) but I am (perhaps naively) of the perception that taking meds will mean I get addicted and rely on them. Been told it's not true.

Hoping the CBT sorts me out rather than try meds.

 

[COYBL25]

From your experiences, does taking the meds work?

I am awaiting some CBT for anxiety and have staved going on meds but finding it harder as the CBT draws closer .

Most people I speak to on it think I should give the meds ago (to increase my serotonin ) but I am (perhaps naively) of the perception that taking meds will mean I get addicted and rely on them. Been told it's not true.

Hoping the CBT sorts me out rather than try meds.

Hi mate.

You won't / can't get addicted to medication for depression.

Medication used short term to treat anxiety is highly addictive - Xanax / Ativan etc.

The whole reason that the medication used to treat anxiety is short term, is due to the addictive nature of the drugs.

However there are many antidepressants which incorporate anti anxiety properties too, which aren't addictive.

You need to take advice from your GP.

CBT and antidepressants can work hand in hand x