Onwards Evertonians

Player Valuation: £8m
I can't wait until he sponsors the ground and all of the cackling reds have a meltdown again. They have a meltdown, then see no visible progress on the ground and then crawl back from under their rocks to mock it again. It's going to be something special when the reality actually dawns on them. I can't wait to see the mental gymastics they're going to go through to prove they aren't a***d when they've lived and breathed it for years.


Player Valuation: £8m
I'll get excited if this guy ponies up some real dosh and we sign Haaland. Other than that, meh

"If this Uzbek has got the dough he says he has, then we want Haaland, and if not Haaland, then we want Mbappe! An if not Mbappe, we want a new contract for Sigurdsson! Everton aren't we!? Ey! Ey! Everton aren't we!?"



Player Valuation: £40m
joking about it is the best avenue to alleviate the exasperation/ any glance at my posting history reveals, it's how i deal with it. lol
"And then Brands said-" (gunshot echoes around the forest glad) "Sigurðsson is the best attacking midfielder in Europe, according to certain performance metrics!"

(Putin slaps thigh, before pulling out another magazine and reloading his Kalashnikov)



Player Valuation: £70m
I know FFP has gone quiet at the moment, but imagine if we use that small window to absolutely cause chaos, and spend, spend, spend.

Too much to ask for though, isn't it? Excited for Usmanov coming onto our board at some point.

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