The Sunday Sermon ; (Sir) Neville Southall ,M.B.E. ...

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little curly alan ball

Player Valuation: £70m
May the Good Lord be with you all .

As the Son of a Union Man , I'm a Socialist to the core of my being , an ' I recognized a kindred spirit , in the subject of today's Sermon , the Great , Neville - The Bin Man - Southall .

In a Club , renowned for it's sartorial elegance , he was , without doubt , the scruffiest mufuka to EVER walk through the door . However , once we saw the goods , he transformed from the ugliest of ducklings into the most beautiful of swans , an' became one of the 6/7 or so GREATEST Everton Players , EVER to grace the jersey .

Born in Llandudno , North Wales , on September 16 , 1958 , he signed for Everton for £150,000 from Bury , in 1981 , one of Kendall Mk1's , Magnificent 7 - Now , THERE'S an Oxymoron , ....
His early career here , didn't really pull up any trees . Second to Jim Arnold in the pecking order - avain analogy maintained , btw - , he would go out on loan to Port Vale in 82/83 , playing 9 games for them , before being recalled , breaking into the first team , an' , well , staying there for 16 odd years .

By the time we , Got Boss Again , Big Fat Nev' / The Bin Man - he had done the job , pre - professionally playing , also Hod Carrying , Waiting On . Proletarian , as I said ; was not only the foremost Goalkeeper IN THE FUKN WORLD , if you don't mind , but one of the Top PLAYERS on the Planet .

After a fukn good hiding at home by the RS , 5-0 , we , wanted to kill ourselves . HK , on the other hand , saw it differently . He bought Steven , Sheedy was bedded in , then Gray arrived , an' tah-dah , !!! We rule Europe .
However , THIS WOULD NEVER , EVER have happened without 1 person ; Big Fat Nev' .
Fact .

The year after the Goodison Derby Debacle , '83 , we began a campaign , in no particular great heart . However , by the end of it , we would appear in our second ever , League / Milk Cup Final , losing - after the First Ever All Merseyside Final ; What a day that was !!! ; in a replay to the only goal to Sourpuss , at Man City . However , in a reversal of our fortunes that last time we got to that competion's final game , we went back to Wembley in the F.A. Cup to triumph over Watford . Kendall and the Bin Man , would earn the club it's first Trophy and Winner's medals in 14 years . Oh , yes , we part-eh'd .

The following season , for any blue whom witnessed ANY of it , was one of those times in life when God , taps you on the shoulder , an' says ,
" See you ??? You're fukn sound , you , lad . "
We lost the first game at home 4-1 to Spurs , an' it seemed like , same ol' , same ol' . How wrong could we be ???
We would absolutely blister Man Utd at home , 5 Fukn Nil , then on the Monday night went to O.T. an' kicked them out the League Cup . Next came Castle Grey Skull . Now , remember ,we hadn't won there since the '60's , AND , Pinocchio had The Evil Eye , on us . Would do for another ten years ,
but today , big nose , WE had The Guv'nor .
Sharpy went on to score a wonder goal . PLEASE , if you haven't seen this , Google it , but I recall 2/3 one-on-one's , Rush Vs Nev' , an' the un-svelte one was Supreme . No [Poor language removed] . He ran off the pitch like Linford Fukn Christie , but not before a few Star - Jumps an Fist Pumps to the Anfield Road , first .
Geezer , btw.

We went on the Title , with the whole Continent wanking over us . Cloughie called us The Next Team of The Decade . Cups ??? All day . Cup Winner's Cup in Rotterdam ( Though ,THAT night , I had a COB ON with him over the Red Jersey ,..) , gave the club it's First - an' sadly , only European Trophy to date . Only bein' , basically , out on our feet , saw us lose to Man Utd at Wembley - how that beats the Bin Man from there STILL AMAZES me , thus foregoing an unprecedented Treble .
However , WE WERE THE DOG'S BOLLOX , An' THE WORLD KNEW IT .
Neville would become P.W.A. Footballer of the Year - Reidy won the Player's award .
The following Wednesday , the RS would play at Heysel , ....

When anyone does a reprise on the Bin Man , they generally show , Falco's header at Spurs ; the Sheff' Wed' wonder save ; Utd at Wembley , Mk 2 . I was present at all of these , an' they were indeed superb , but for me , it's Middlesboro , either the same year or the following year to that Sheff Wed' game .
Cup game , night time , same sort of save as the Wednesday one . Striker puts bullet header in bottom corner . Our ragarse , 17 stone Goalie , flips the ball , a la Banks , off the line but back into play , where it gets another rebound , sending it towards the opposite corner . St . Neville of Southall , picks up that frame of an Ocean Liner , an' is at the other fukn corner waiting by the time it gets there !!! Truly breathtaking .
Another time , at Wembley . Charity Sheild versus the RS . It was him against Rush for about 60 minutes after we'd scored .
The fukn 5-0 Derby game , he was M.O.M. !!!

His tragic injury , received by an Aldridge tackle in an International in Dublin , many people - myself included , believe , cost us that year's Double . We lost the League by 2 points - after RUNNING WAY WITH IT , AN' WERE BEATING the RS - again , at Wembley , 1-0 at HALF TIME . we LOST 3-1 .
It CERTAINLY , cost us the Cup Final . The next time you see , Jimmy Fukn Durante hitting that camera in the Wembley goal , REMEMBER , Mimms was between the sticks .
Big Fat Nev' would have saved that with a part of his anatomy , not fit for Sunday Sermon , but you take my point . Believe me . He WOULD'VE saved it . I was in THEIR end that day . Ho -Hum .
You'll never beat the fukn Reds , indeed , .... ( Shivers , ...)

Despite the 86/87 season seeing YET ANOTHER League Title , this was no longer Champagne Footie . We grafted our way to it the second time . No bad thing , that . However , due to our Murderin' Bretheren , the writing was on the wall . The side began to age , an' after ANOTHER RS F.A. Cup Final , in '89 - lost 3-2 in extra time , to break up .

However , through ALL THIS , Big Neville stood STAUNCH Blue .

Time went by , an' the Man's waistline grew in tandem with his rep' . However , once Beardo fukd off , he would be our ONLY World Class footballer , until Asbo - I don't count Tsar Andrei .
On his day , even then , he was STILL MUSTARD . See their goals in the 4-4 game . Look what it took to beat the Bin Man , to how we scored our goals , ...then onto the '95 Cup Win , when he had Fergie's Stars off , all on his own - Scholes STILL can't believe THAT save .

He left this great club , as THAT IS HOW HE FEELS about us , after 16 some years of TOP CLASS SERVICE , in 1997/8 .
Was gutted to do so , an' all . He joined Stoke City after a loan period . He left , the LONGEST serving player of the modern era , playing over 500 League Games , and 750 odd games in all for his Beloved Everton F.C.
He could Spit the Dummy , too , mind . DID NOT like Loser's Medals , an' the famous Half Time Sit In , was actualy , Hilarious . Least , I thought so . Defo Idiosyncratic to a fault , an' ALWAYS his own man , the I Love My Wife , T Shirt , was typical of him .
Like Bally , IT IS A TRAVESTY , that this Legend has not been given a role at Everton . Any role . he'd FUKN WALK HERE TO DO IT .
Another Bally comparison , to my mind they are the ONLY two players to have played for us - whom I have witnessed - to be HONEST TO GOD World Beater's . As good as ANYTHING , ANYWHERE . An' I love him like one of me own .

Evertonians are CHOSEN . WE DO NOT CHOOSE , an' The Bin Man , IS ONE OF OURS .

God bless , this Domingo , to a TRUE Everton Legend , Sir Neville of Southall .

Amen .

May the Good Lord be with you all .

Look after your peoples .

Peace out .

( The Catholic ) Reverand L.C.A.B.
 
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True words. B U T ... Bally and His Lordship the only world class geezers? Raymond Wilson, peut etre?
 
Great Stuff here Mr Ball!

I absolutley loved Neville Southall, i still havnt gotten over him retireing bar a brief fling with Nigel Martyn.

*Throws filthey at the other Tim.
 

If youve never seen this its worth a watch big Nev having a go at Michael Owen for being a ted - Classic Nev:

[video=youtube;WqOxNspUPyE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqOxNspUPyE[/video]
 
Big Nev is my favourite Everton player from my era (Everton found me in '82, at the tender age of 5). The first player that I remember being more drawn too was Reidy, just because of his full on temperament and no holes barred tackling - he'd quite happily walk off with his opponents shin-guard still impailed in his studs and just shrug. My second was Lineker - I was young!! I cried when he left - I was young!!!!

It wasn't until I hit double figures in age, that I really understood the true force of our Nev. I don't know if it was just me, or if young kids don't really appreciate the role of the goalie and what an impact it has on the rest of the squad, to have a world class one between the sticks. When I did start to take notice though, it really brought home what a talented man he was. As L.C.A.B. states, he was, on more than one occaision, our match winner.

As others came and went, Big Nev was ever-present and he played every single game with NSNO coarsing through his veins. And, yeah, his character was as big as his barrel body.

I loved Big Nev, still do and I'm really, really shocked that he was never offered a position at the club after his career ended. That's quite appalling.

Anyway, my glass is raised to the big man today and to L.C.A.B. for another quality sermon.(y)
 

Big Nev is my favourite Everton player from my era (Everton found me in '82, at the tender age of 5). The first player that I remember being more drawn too was Reidy, just because of his full on temperament and no holes barred tackling - he'd quite happily walk off with his opponents shin-guard still impailed in his studs and just shrug. My second was Lineker - I was young!! I cried when he left - I was young!!!!

It wasn't until I hit double figures in age, that I really understood the true force of our Nev. I don't know if it was just me, or if young kids don't really appreciate the role of the goalie and what an impact it has on the rest of the squad, to have a world class one between the sticks. When I did start to take notice though, it really brought home what a talented man he was. As L.C.A.B. states, he was, on more than one occaision, our match winner.

As others came and went, Big Nev was ever-present and he played every single game with NSNO coarsing through his veins. And, yeah, his character was as big as his barrel body.

I loved Big Nev, still do and I'm really, really shocked that he was never offered a position at the club after his career ended. That's quite appalling.

Anyway, my glass is raised to the big man today and to L.C.A.B. for another quality sermon.(y)



You're me best girl .
 
My favourite Nev story was when he had just signed for us and HK told him to go to a certain restaurant in Liverpool and that they new he was coming, said he could have anything he wanted on the club as a welcome present.

Waiter comes over and congratulates him on joining Everton and speaks of the fantastic menu's with steaks, lobsters, all the expensive food you can imagine and now that he is an Everton player he can have any of it he wants.

Big Nev demands beans on toast.
 

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