The 'Post Funny stuff' Thread
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Charles Hawtrey
Player Valuation: £50m
I've always wondered why we say Big Red Bus instead of Red Big Bus - is it just 'the way it is'
In the order of adjectives size goes before colour.
Stolen from elsewhere:
The Indians buy some glasses and a dress for her at home,
My colleague wants a big house so I ask them for a loan,
My son he needs a study room and gets a penthouse suite,
I give a wink to Alli and we keep it all discreet,
Pretending I have morals but I’m a nasty little cheat,
I got a box at football, it’s a lovely little stash,
And Alli gets in number 10 because it’s Kier for cash,
It’s Kier for cash.
Kier for cash.
My clothes are looking tatty so I ask him for some more,
Another game of footie and we watch Bukayo score,
He takes me to a restaurant and he feeds me till I’m full,
We talk about my father and how he made a f****** tool,
And how I’d screw the country if I ever came to rule,
Then it’s back to Alli’s for a go on his prayer mat,
A little glass of champers and some Harrods aloo chaat,
It’s Kier for cash.
Kier for cash.
Now I am the governor and I’m feeling pretty smug,
Granny might be freezing but she’s a racist little thug,
I fancy this, I fancy that, my suits are Saville Row,
Another little kickback just for letting Savile go,
Releasing all the sausages just to sound like little Joe,
And when I make a promise just remember it’s all crap,
I’m doing what they’re telling me because I’m Kier for cash.
I’m Kier for cash.
Kier for cash.
The Indians buy some glasses and a dress for her at home,
My colleague wants a big house so I ask them for a loan,
My son he needs a study room and gets a penthouse suite,
I give a wink to Alli and we keep it all discreet,
Pretending I have morals but I’m a nasty little cheat,
I got a box at football, it’s a lovely little stash,
And Alli gets in number 10 because it’s Kier for cash,
It’s Kier for cash.
Kier for cash.
My clothes are looking tatty so I ask him for some more,
Another game of footie and we watch Bukayo score,
He takes me to a restaurant and he feeds me till I’m full,
We talk about my father and how he made a f****** tool,
And how I’d screw the country if I ever came to rule,
Then it’s back to Alli’s for a go on his prayer mat,
A little glass of champers and some Harrods aloo chaat,
It’s Kier for cash.
Kier for cash.
Now I am the governor and I’m feeling pretty smug,
Granny might be freezing but she’s a racist little thug,
I fancy this, I fancy that, my suits are Saville Row,
Another little kickback just for letting Savile go,
Releasing all the sausages just to sound like little Joe,
And when I make a promise just remember it’s all crap,
I’m doing what they’re telling me because I’m Kier for cash.
I’m Kier for cash.
Kier for cash.
Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £80m
Or
I grew up in council housing,
Part of what made Britain great,
There are some here who are hellbent,
On the destruction of the welfare state.
Squeeze to Cameron
Tommy Chong
Player Valuation: £70m
Always remember in the film Shirley Valentine the woman asking a couple if they wanted "chips & egg".
NeilMorepies
Player Valuation: £35m
NeilMorepies
Player Valuation: £35m
In English the cadence of vowels mostly go in a certain order; eg - bish bash bosh...there's a technical term for it which I've forgotten
Rita_Poon
Player Valuation: £100m
Rita_Poon
Player Valuation: £100m
Is that Sheryl Tweedy as Yoko to his John?
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