The confession thread!

[Lord Buckethead]

I think he’s more interested in his body than the music

I can think of nothing worse than some amateur boxer trying to sing.

 

[Death]

I

I'm not sure if people would be interested in a post that's longer than an article published in The Athletic.

I would. I have tissues and my trousers down. My body is ready.

 

[larbert toffee]

I got laid off by a car manufacturer but the fools told me when I still had a days work remaining.
My job at the time was to fit the gear box on the production line anyway for the whole shift lots of washers and nuts and bolts went into every gear box. They wouldn’t of known until the car was built and test driven.

Because of a shortage of parts during the pandemic and a growing need to recycle, General Motors have produced a car called the Ford Pubic, it's made from old corsairs.

 

[BNJ1878]

1)Always used to brazenly grab a Yorkie walking through woolies and munch it whilst looking through the posters.
Must have had 100+ over the years.

2) around 1992 I went to a Lloyds bank cash machine one night, it wouldn't let me put my card in. I adjusted the moveable 'letterbox' viewing strip that some machines had back then and it told me to select service. I assumed It was broken but selected withdraw cash, followed by 200. Out pops the money followed by a receipt showing balance 0000 and an account made up of symbols not numbers. Zero guilt at the time but every call for the next month after that had me flapping incase it was them.

 

[JLW]

In 90s I bought some blag £20 notes of my mates dodgy elder brother I think it was about £40 for £200 worth. Anyway used them for Glastonbury to get my pills and other stuff, then got more as they were flying out and was going around all the bookies and placing a £2 bet just as the race was going off (btw in a rush) so I’d doubled my money and had a bet going

 

[Bruce Wayne]

I'm a perfectionist.

 

[JLW]

Come on @Joey66 you must have lots to confess about your secrets are safe in here!

 

[Joey66]

Come on @Joey66 you must have lots to confess about your secrets are safe in here!

Oh I, safe my arsp ......
Worst thing I ever did was when I first had my mortgage to pay for my wife asked me to step in & do a gardening job for her boss - they were a right pair of snobs of to the golf club for a round of golf on a red hot sunny day - their gardener had left it in a right mess - got the work done to a very high standard .....they locked me out so I crapped in their dustbin - told her - she just laughed but never got promoted she worked in the DHSS ......LOL
She left anyrate and worked for British Gas in Bold Street ........better pay.....
I became a boss in a Council Nursery & sacked a degree student from Scotland - he was useless gave him a weeks notice after 7 days ......I could not trust him to brush a greenhouse floor properly ......
I was a fair boss, but I would suffer fools lightly .....

 

[larbert toffee]

Oh I, safe my arsp ......
Worst thing I ever did was when I first had my mortgage to pay for my wife asked me to step in & do a gardening job for her boss - they were a right pair of snobs of to the golf club for a round of golf on a red hot sunny day - their gardener had left it in a right mess - got the work done to a very high standard .....they locked me out so I crapped in their dustbin - told her - she just laughed but never got promoted she worked in the DHSS ......LOL
She left anyrate and worked for British Gas in Bold Street ........better pay.....
I became a boss in a Council Nursery & sacked a degree student from Scotland - he was useless gave him a weeks notice after 7 days ......I could not trust him to brush a greenhouse floor properly ......
I was a fair boss, but I would suffer fools lightly .....

@COYBL25 you were right mate, fetch the straight jacket.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Oh I, safe my arsp ......
Worst thing I ever did was when I first had my mortgage to pay for my wife asked me to step in & do a gardening job for her boss - they were a right pair of snobs of to the golf club for a round of golf on a red hot sunny day - their gardener had left it in a right mess - got the work done to a very high standard .....they locked me out so I crapped in their dustbin - told her - she just laughed but never got promoted she worked in the DHSS ......LOL
She left anyrate and worked for British Gas in Bold Street ........better pay.....
I became a boss in a Council Nursery & sacked a degree student from Scotland - he was useless gave him a weeks notice after 7 days ......I could not trust him to brush a greenhouse floor properly ......
I was a fair boss, but I would suffer fools lightly .....

Joe, you crapped in someone's dustbin?

 

[COYBL25]

Oh I, safe my arsp ......
Worst thing I ever did was when I first had my mortgage to pay for my wife asked me to step in & do a gardening job for her boss - they were a right pair of snobs of to the golf club for a round of golf on a red hot sunny day - their gardener had left it in a right mess - got the work done to a very high standard .....they locked me out so I crapped in their dustbin - told her - she just laughed but never got promoted she worked in the DHSS ......LOL
She left anyrate and worked for British Gas in Bold Street ........better pay.....
I became a boss in a Council Nursery & sacked a degree student from Scotland - he was useless gave him a weeks notice after 7 days ......I could not trust him to brush a greenhouse floor properly ......
I was a fair boss, but I would suffer fools lightly .....

 

[JLW]

Joe, you crapped in someone's dustbin?

On a red hot day also! Hahahahaha

 

[LostLegend]

It gets really hot in my workplace so we have these large powerful industrial sized fans dotted around the place.

I occasionally fart when I’m walking near one to send it across the shop floor towards unsuspecting co-workers

 

[Joey66]

View attachment 125351

Stop printing your leaflets to get off the weed.....

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

Oh I, safe my arsp ......
Worst thing I ever did was when I first had my mortgage to pay for my wife asked me to step in & do a gardening job for her boss - they were a right pair of snobs of to the golf club for a round of golf on a red hot sunny day - their gardener had left it in a right mess - got the work done to a very high standard .....they locked me out so I crapped in their dustbin - told her - she just laughed but never got promoted she worked in the DHSS ......LOL
She left anyrate and worked for British Gas in Bold Street ........better pay.....
I became a boss in a Council Nursery & sacked a degree student from Scotland - he was useless gave him a weeks notice after 7 days ......I could not trust him to brush a greenhouse floor properly ......
I was a fair boss, but I would suffer fools lightly .....

Mate, how did you wipe????