gonetomorrow
Player Valuation: £80m
Southampton will surprise everyone and finish 12th.
Predictions for 2019/20 season
- Thread starter zzebra
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toffeejack
Player Valuation: £100m
I think he predicted them to lose away at City last season.... When they got mauled 5-0 in a game they should have won.
Every other season in the last four he's predicted them to be unbeatables, but I'm just guessing. Yep, he actually thought a back 5 of mignolet, Clyne, lovren, skrtel and moreno would go two seasons in a row unbeaten haha
Newly promoted team will pay big money for a striker. He’ll score against us... and only us.
Wolves will sign somebody Portuguese.
We’ll sign someone who speaks Portuguese.
Inflatable snake to be inducted into the Watford hall of fame.
Wolves will sign somebody Portuguese.
We’ll sign someone who speaks Portuguese.
Inflatable snake to be inducted into the Watford hall of fame.
BirkenheadBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
No, they’ve got his track record up on BBC at the moment.
No losses in last 3 seasons, 2 in the season before that.
toffeejack
Player Valuation: £100m
jesus christ, what an ORACLE.
Saint Domingo
Player Valuation: £90m
Title race between City and Spurs lasting until about Feb. Liverpool third Arsenal fourth. Everton battling United and Chelsea for 5th-7th.
BirkenheadBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
I mean ironically he wasn’t a million miles off this season. (Think it was the first time recently that he’s predicted them less points than they actually got)
No, the FA finally get round to banning him for irregular betting
SerenityNigh
now you're gonna hear about it
Continuing my "all-too-early PL 19/20 preview" with some mid-table and top chasing clubs. None of this has been updated with any transfers in nor out of players or managers (looking at you, horse-punchers). Also, this has been solidly insulated from logic and careful thought, so read with warning and at your own dismay.
The Everton Cup challengers:
7. Everton Football Club -- Up the Marco Silva Blues! After a great finish to the 18/19 campaign, things are looking up for the Merseyside Blues. Nothing can sour the enthusiasm of Toffees supporters, except maybe an unexpected rash of injuries, a bad spell of form, recent history, or the despair of future failures. That said, with the aggregate misery of other PL clubs, and the increasing parity of clubs between 3 and 12, nobody really knows what to expect in the upcoming campaign, and these Blues don't look far off from (finally) achieving the first silverware in 25 years. (Still, their likely finish is 7th, winning their namesake Cup again)
SerenityNigh's odds: To win 2%; Top 4 16%, Top 7 48%
8. Wolverhampton -- Minha cabeça diz que este clube vai lutar com a agenda europeia adicional que enfrenta esta campanha. Mas eles estão construindo o elenco de forma inspirada, e o gerente fashionista da sua barba parece a parte do técnico que pode trazer o sucesso de volta ao Molineux. Renúncias legais sempre dizem: "o sucesso passado não é um indicador de resultados futuros", mas o sucesso do passado é o melhor indicador de resultados futuros. Espera-se que eles lutem com a carga de jogos que eles enfrentarão, mas eles ainda são bons o suficiente para causar algum dano no campeonato.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~1%; Top 4 ~9%, Top 7 40%
9. Watford -- Not good enough to win, not poor enough to be relegated. They'll stick around and finish somewhere 6 to 16, depending in part on the success of clubs around them, and in part on the successful development of their own players. My advanced analysis tells me that the points they are able to grab in the table will be strongly correlated to the positive difference of goals scored vs goals allowed in league matches. Michael Diamond was always my least favorite of the Beastie Boys, and his manager doppelgänger doesn't inspire much more confidence in me. Also, while I'm glad they've binned Z-Cars, but their choice of replacement is hideous and is worth a 5-point deduction by itself if the FA were in control of anything at all.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 5%, Top 7 24%
The Everton Cup challengers:
7. Everton Football Club -- Up the Marco Silva Blues! After a great finish to the 18/19 campaign, things are looking up for the Merseyside Blues. Nothing can sour the enthusiasm of Toffees supporters, except maybe an unexpected rash of injuries, a bad spell of form, recent history, or the despair of future failures. That said, with the aggregate misery of other PL clubs, and the increasing parity of clubs between 3 and 12, nobody really knows what to expect in the upcoming campaign, and these Blues don't look far off from (finally) achieving the first silverware in 25 years. (Still, their likely finish is 7th, winning their namesake Cup again)
SerenityNigh's odds: To win 2%; Top 4 16%, Top 7 48%
8. Wolverhampton -- Minha cabeça diz que este clube vai lutar com a agenda europeia adicional que enfrenta esta campanha. Mas eles estão construindo o elenco de forma inspirada, e o gerente fashionista da sua barba parece a parte do técnico que pode trazer o sucesso de volta ao Molineux. Renúncias legais sempre dizem: "o sucesso passado não é um indicador de resultados futuros", mas o sucesso do passado é o melhor indicador de resultados futuros. Espera-se que eles lutem com a carga de jogos que eles enfrentarão, mas eles ainda são bons o suficiente para causar algum dano no campeonato.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~1%; Top 4 ~9%, Top 7 40%
9. Watford -- Not good enough to win, not poor enough to be relegated. They'll stick around and finish somewhere 6 to 16, depending in part on the success of clubs around them, and in part on the successful development of their own players. My advanced analysis tells me that the points they are able to grab in the table will be strongly correlated to the positive difference of goals scored vs goals allowed in league matches. Michael Diamond was always my least favorite of the Beastie Boys, and his manager doppelgänger doesn't inspire much more confidence in me. Also, while I'm glad they've binned Z-Cars, but their choice of replacement is hideous and is worth a 5-point deduction by itself if the FA were in control of anything at all.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 5%, Top 7 24%
PaulPowersTash
Player Valuation: £15m
The media jizz fest over Liverpool will begin when they win the Charity shield with 2 dodgy penalties and a clear offside goal. It will then be non stop week in and week out until it is clear they are only going to finish 3rd.
Salah will be given the Golden Boot regardless of if he scores the most goals. It will be just because he deserves it. The same with Van Dyke. He will will the player of the year, the writers player of the year, the Ballon d'Or and the BBC sports personality of the year. Even though he has been out injured for most of the season. Klopp will win the manager of the year award - just because he has big teeth and they are super whitened!
The 'most knowledgeable fans in football' will yet again repeatedly disgrace themselves but blame someone else each and every time. The owners will then sell out to a Qatar state owned sovereign wealth fund but that will be OK and 'good for football' because they earned their own money in the first place and the footballing media will rejoice! They will then be voted 'team of the year' after their fans start a 182 different petitions. In other words pretty much like last season...
Salah will be given the Golden Boot regardless of if he scores the most goals. It will be just because he deserves it. The same with Van Dyke. He will will the player of the year, the writers player of the year, the Ballon d'Or and the BBC sports personality of the year. Even though he has been out injured for most of the season. Klopp will win the manager of the year award - just because he has big teeth and they are super whitened!
The 'most knowledgeable fans in football' will yet again repeatedly disgrace themselves but blame someone else each and every time. The owners will then sell out to a Qatar state owned sovereign wealth fund but that will be OK and 'good for football' because they earned their own money in the first place and the footballing media will rejoice! They will then be voted 'team of the year' after their fans start a 182 different petitions. In other words pretty much like last season...
SerenityNigh
now you're gonna hear about it
Continuing my "all-too-early PL 19/20 preview" with some mid-table and top chasing clubs. None of this has been updated with any transfers in nor out of players or managers (looking at you, horse-punchers). Also, this has been solidly insulated from logic and careful thought, so read with warning and at your own dismay.
The should-be-safe group:
10. West Ham--World Cup winning Hammers have to think they've got a good chance at winning the whole damn thing this campaign, and why not, with a grand summer of signings (insert any number of over-hyped and over-priced, sure to fail mercurial talents), a tremendous history of 0 top flight wins, and a tactical genius at manager (someone please confirm Pellegrini hasn't died), there's no reason to expect them to suffer the drop. It's as unlikely as this squad playing inspired football at a fabulous venue thronging with football mad supporters. I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but these are as Meh as they come.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 18%, Relegation 12%
11. Leicester City-- Nobody is as excited about Leicester's chances this campaign as is Brendan Rodgers. With a tactical genius like the Brodge at the helm, very few, apart from the Brodge himself, have grasped the potential in this side. And if they can be lucky enough to prolong the services of talent like Tielemans, who knows (apart from the Brodge himself) where they will end up? The rest of us, despite our lack of football knowledge, amounting to little more than the banal stats quickly accumulated like the proliferation of Yanks at GOT, don't see much happening with this side. But who knows? These have surprised before, and with an-equally under-appreciated genius of a manager at the helm, these could manage more than a mid-table finish. (The Brodge knows)
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~1%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 18%, Relegation 6%
12. Sarfhampton-- Really, not arsed with these enough to write much. Their new manager Ralf Ragnarok seems more than capable, so they should stay up. Maybe I can add some jarg sentences when the season opening is upon us. Will it matter though?
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 12%, Relegation 12%
13. Crystal Palace-- America's team--for all the wrong reasons--these should be an extremely lovable bunch. But they're really little more than a not-very-harmful bunch (if you discount the 4 points they take from EFC each campaign). If they take Bolassie or any other dross in Silva's side away from the millstone hanging around Brands' budget, I'll write some very complimentary things about them. If you're in London and have to watch a match, these probably are as close to a proper footballing club and ground as you'll find, despite their weird Yank mascot and cheerleading ambitions. So there, I've said something nice about them. They shouldn't face the drop.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 12%, Relegation 6%
The should-be-safe group:
10. West Ham--World Cup winning Hammers have to think they've got a good chance at winning the whole damn thing this campaign, and why not, with a grand summer of signings (insert any number of over-hyped and over-priced, sure to fail mercurial talents), a tremendous history of 0 top flight wins, and a tactical genius at manager (someone please confirm Pellegrini hasn't died), there's no reason to expect them to suffer the drop. It's as unlikely as this squad playing inspired football at a fabulous venue thronging with football mad supporters. I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but these are as Meh as they come.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 18%, Relegation 12%
11. Leicester City-- Nobody is as excited about Leicester's chances this campaign as is Brendan Rodgers. With a tactical genius like the Brodge at the helm, very few, apart from the Brodge himself, have grasped the potential in this side. And if they can be lucky enough to prolong the services of talent like Tielemans, who knows (apart from the Brodge himself) where they will end up? The rest of us, despite our lack of football knowledge, amounting to little more than the banal stats quickly accumulated like the proliferation of Yanks at GOT, don't see much happening with this side. But who knows? These have surprised before, and with an-equally under-appreciated genius of a manager at the helm, these could manage more than a mid-table finish. (The Brodge knows)
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~1%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 18%, Relegation 6%
12. Sarfhampton-- Really, not arsed with these enough to write much. Their new manager Ralf Ragnarok seems more than capable, so they should stay up. Maybe I can add some jarg sentences when the season opening is upon us. Will it matter though?
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 12%, Relegation 12%
13. Crystal Palace-- America's team--for all the wrong reasons--these should be an extremely lovable bunch. But they're really little more than a not-very-harmful bunch (if you discount the 4 points they take from EFC each campaign). If they take Bolassie or any other dross in Silva's side away from the millstone hanging around Brands' budget, I'll write some very complimentary things about them. If you're in London and have to watch a match, these probably are as close to a proper footballing club and ground as you'll find, despite their weird Yank mascot and cheerleading ambitions. So there, I've said something nice about them. They shouldn't face the drop.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0%; Top 4 ~1%, Top 7 12%, Relegation 6%
SerenityNigh
now you're gonna hear about it
Continuing my "all-too-early PL 19/20 preview" with some mid-table and top chasing clubs. None of this has been updated with any transfers in nor out of players or managers (looking at you, horse-punchers). Also, this has been solidly insulated from logic and careful thought, so read with warning and at your own dismay.
The OH SH*T! group:
Aston Villa--I hope these stay up as there are plenty others who deserve to go down. And I generally like their kits. An interesting question about their 19/20 campaign hopes is whether they will earn more points in the table than Jack Grealish will use in pounds of hair product during the same span.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win Miniscule; Top 4 ~0%; Top 7 1%; Relegation 24%
Bournemouth--I seem to be in the minority in liking the Boy Wonder Eddie Howe. These still aren't a good side and probably have run their course in the top flight. Working in their favor: only three teams drop, and they have equally qualified candidates battling with them for the drop. Working against them: these aren't very good.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win Miniscule; Top 4 ~0%; Top 7 3%; Relegation 45%
Brighton and Hove Albion--I think they have decent shirts.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win Miniscule; Top 4 ~0%; Top 7 1%; Relegation 45%
The Horse Punchers--HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
(takes breath)
*quick reminder that nothing has been updated below despite recent news that Benitez will not return
AHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0; Top 4 ~1%; Top 7 8%; Relegation 30%
Sheffield United--I'd really like to watch Jagielka keep these up in his career swan song. And they're probably good enough to stay up on their own right. Remember, only 3 clubs can go down (unfortunately!) so they've got stiff competition at not being very good. I suspect they'll be ok.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0; Top 4 ~1%; Top 7 3%; Relegation 24%
The OH SH*T! group:
Aston Villa--I hope these stay up as there are plenty others who deserve to go down. And I generally like their kits. An interesting question about their 19/20 campaign hopes is whether they will earn more points in the table than Jack Grealish will use in pounds of hair product during the same span.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win Miniscule; Top 4 ~0%; Top 7 1%; Relegation 24%
Bournemouth--I seem to be in the minority in liking the Boy Wonder Eddie Howe. These still aren't a good side and probably have run their course in the top flight. Working in their favor: only three teams drop, and they have equally qualified candidates battling with them for the drop. Working against them: these aren't very good.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win Miniscule; Top 4 ~0%; Top 7 3%; Relegation 45%
Brighton and Hove Albion--I think they have decent shirts.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win Miniscule; Top 4 ~0%; Top 7 1%; Relegation 45%
The Horse Punchers--HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
(takes breath)
*quick reminder that nothing has been updated below despite recent news that Benitez will not return
AHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0; Top 4 ~1%; Top 7 8%; Relegation 30%
Sheffield United--I'd really like to watch Jagielka keep these up in his career swan song. And they're probably good enough to stay up on their own right. Remember, only 3 clubs can go down (unfortunately!) so they've got stiff competition at not being very good. I suspect they'll be ok.
SerenityNigh's odds: To win ~0; Top 4 ~1%; Top 7 3%; Relegation 24%
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