Predictions for 2019/20 season

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zzebra said:
With Mark Lawrenson already (unsurprisingly) predicting the RS will win the league next year,I thought I would have a try myself.
  • There will be a heatwave on the opening day of the season with endless clips of drunken, overweight shirtless or bikini clad fans in sunglasses,dancing and spraying each other with water.There will be plenty of quips about this during the return fixture held on a wet, misty ,freezing cold night in January
  • A previously unknown English player will have a couple of decent games early on.in the season.The media will call him a future England captain and Gareth Southgate will be seen in the stands " running an eye" over him.The papers will announce that City, Liverpool and Chelsea are lining up a £100m bid.He will get injured and never be heard of again.
  • The BBC will inexplicably announce that their 3rd Round FA cup live game will be Liverpool, whoever the opposition.It will be justified by some bizarre,obscure connection between the two clubs.
  • A newly promoted team will win their first seven games and will be top of the Premiership.They will be relegated before the end of March.
  • A manager wiil be sacked by Christmas and be replaced with the "dream team ticket" of two former fans favourites returning to the club.. They too will be relegated.
  • Every televised West Ham game,the camera will pan onto Trevor Brooking sitting in the Directors Box and we will be told what a great ambassador for football he is.
Do you have anymore?
Click to expand...

I had been thinking of an "all-too-early PL 19/20 preview" so here is some of it:

Those with a chance to win the whole darn thing:

1. Liverpool -- Big Red and the Dallas Cowboys, the two favorite teams of the old man upstairs*. I'm not catholic so I don't know how it all works, but I suspect Pep will be stuck in purgatory for a long time following this league win. Let's see if Poch joins him. With 18 top flight wins and 0 PL wins, 2019/2020 will be their first title win. "I honestly think they can win the treble" will be their calling card this year, as supporters show confidence and hubris uncharacteristic to this fanbase.

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 30%; Top 4 82%, Top 7 98%

2. Manchester City -- with the most talented playing squad and the most talented coaching staff, what's not to love? Well, they're like that Oasis song you loved the first 30 times you listened to it but now... turn that whining dirge off! These have the air about them of the beautiful, over-controlling girl who was fun on the first date but makes you jump out of your bedroom window after 2 months dating. Maybe just a little bit on the over controlling side. With 5 top flight wins and 3 PL titles, they should win going away (and they've won before, so history helps), but with an even greater focus on finally not screwing up their CL pursuits, surely the cookie is set to crumble?

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 40%; Top 4 90%, Top 7 98%

3. Totten-Ham -- of the London Hams, these have finally separated themselves as not only better, but also elite. They look poised to stay in the title mix for some time, and only need to add one or two pieces per window to properly retool (which naturally fits Levy's tight-pursestrings approach). And they've got a lovely new stadium as well, which is only missing a proper cheese room. With 2 top flight wins and 0 PL titles, they've got a chance to do the unexpected. (All of these comments to be immediately redacted when Poch leaves.)

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 9%; Top 4 66%, Top 7 90%

More to come...

*allegedly
 
Ring master said:
Did Lawrenson keep his record up of not predicting Liverpool to lose a game,up till mid way,think he had them as been unbeaten in about 3 seasons lol
Click to expand...

I think he's predicted 1 loss in 4 seasons haha

If they lose the CL final they could finish outside the top 4 next season. Especially with VAR.
 
zzebra said:
With Mark Lawrenson already (unsurprisingly) predicting the RS will win the league next year,I thought I would have a try myself.
  • There will be a heatwave on the opening day of the season with endless clips of drunken, overweight shirtless or bikini clad fans in sunglasses,dancing and spraying each other with water.There will be plenty of quips about this during the return fixture held on a wet, misty ,freezing cold night in January

  • A previously unknown English player will have a couple of decent games early on.in the season.The media will call him a future England captain and Gareth Southgate will be seen in the stands " running an eye" over him.The papers will announce that City, Liverpool and Chelsea are lining up a £100m bid.He will get injured and never be heard of again.

  • The BBC will inexplicably announce that their 3rd Round FA cup live game will be Liverpool, whoever the opposition.It will be justified by some bizarre,obscure connection between the two clubs.

  • A newly promoted team will win their first seven games and will be top of the Premiership.They will be relegated before the end of March.

  • A manager wiil be sacked by Christmas and be replaced with the "dream team ticket" of two former fans favourites returning to the club.. They too will be relegated.

  • Every televised West Ham game,the camera will pan onto Trevor Brooking sitting in the Directors Box and we will be told what a great ambassador for football he is.
Do you have anymore?
Click to expand...
Nailed it.

Other than the league being a parade of bank balances.

Oh and the rs starting a petition to have VAR scrapped the first time they have a goal disallowed, and the incident featured heavily on motd ONLY if it's controversial.
 
SerenityNigh said:
I had been thinking of an "all-too-early PL 19/20 preview" so here is some of it:

Those with a chance to win the whole darn thing:

1. Liverpool -- Big Red and the Dallas Cowboys, the two favorite teams of the old man upstairs*. I'm not catholic so I don't know how it all works, but I suspect Pep will be stuck in purgatory for a long time following this league win. Let's see if Poch joins him. With 18 top flight wins and 0 PL wins, 2019/2020 will be their first title win. "I honestly think they can win the treble" will be their calling card this year, as supporters show confidence and hubris uncharacteristic to this fanbase.

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 30%; Top 4 82%, Top 7 98%

2. Manchester City -- with the most talented playing squad and the most talented coaching staff, what's not to love? Well, they're like that Oasis song you loved the first 30 times you listened to it but now... turn that whining dirge off! These have the air about them of the beautiful, over-controlling girl who was fun on the first date but makes you jump out of your bedroom window after 2 months dating. Maybe just a little bit on the over controlling side. With 5 top flight wins and 3 PL titles, they should win going away (and they've won before, so history helps), but with an even greater focus on finally not screwing up their CL pursuits, surely the cookie is set to crumble?

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 40%; Top 4 90%, Top 7 98%

3. Totten-Ham -- of the London Hams, these have finally separated themselves as not only better, but also elite. They look poised to stay in the title mix for some time, and only need to add one or two pieces per window to properly retool (which naturally fits Levy's tight-pursestrings approach). And they've got a lovely new stadium as well, which is only missing a proper cheese room. With 2 top flight wins and 0 PL titles, they've got a chance to do the unexpected. (All of these comments to be immediately redacted when Poch leaves.)

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 9%; Top 4 66%, Top 7 90%

More to come...

*allegedly
Click to expand...

The birthright clubs:

4. Manchesthair United -- I wonder how long Icarus fell before he hit bottom. I don't know if anyone watched, but if so surely some enjoyed it? Pardon the non-sequitur, let's get to business. Manu is a business first and it seems to be raking in the profits like a landscaper in perpetual Fall. But sometimes business model changes can blindside the big, bloated brands, and while it may take considerable time and effort to bleed off all of their successes, it takes even more to reinvent themselves into a success in the new business model. TL;DR, get a DOF without waxen wings, you morons. But I'm here with popcorn ready in the meantime. With 20 top flight and 13 PL titles, it's not inconceivable they turn this around and win. It's also not inconceivable they fall out of the top 7.

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 6%; Top 4 45%, Top 7 75%

5. Chelsea -- They've (probably) got a transfer ban coming up. That's really bad. Their owner is on the lam and wants to sell the club. That's really, really bad. But Chelsea are the super hot psycho girl--she's probably a meth addict but when she cleans up and acts normal she turns heads. Clearly something is rotten in the Stamford Bridge, but that's just how they like it, isn't it? With 6 top flight titles and 4 PL wins, they're probably equal odds to win as they are to finish outside the top-10. (Sell us Zouma you weirdos.)

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 8%; Top 4 45%, Top 7 75%

6. Arsenal -- These also need a DOF. And if they get one then maybe things turn around, but they're in bad need of a rebuild and I don't see anything happening this window that turns them around before 20/21 at the earliest. Plus, who cares? It's Arsenal. But maybe Emery can work a miracle... ok, who's kidding, their best hopes are the 4th place Arsene Wenger trophy. With 13 top flight wins and 3 PL titles, it's conceivable they win. But really, who cares?

SerenityNigh's odds: To win 2%; Top 4 33%, Top 7 68%

More to come...
 
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