Post your open Letters to Elstone Here

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Dear Mr Elstone,

Having been told you're not that Mr Elstone, can I then ask if you have any intention of reprising your role as Doctor Who? Quite frankly, the present incumbent is a bit of a let down.
 

Dear Mr Elstone,


quentin-tarantino-20090817022021406.jpg



Thanks,
 
Dear Mr Elstone.
how come a club relegated from the premiership, can attract a new owner, which i assume means investment as well, while no one seems to look at us. could it be they were actively trying to sell the club?
 
sirblue57 said:
Dear Mr Elstone.
how come a club relegated from the premiership, can attract a new owner, which i assume means investment as well, while no one seems to look at us. could it be they were actively trying to sell the club?
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The person bidding for the club (Fernandes) is a rich fan wanting to buy it off other rich fans. No doubt once he gets his grubby hands on it, he'll discover the horror debt and promptly fire Allardyce as is the norm when Allardyce gets a job.

Perhaps we can appoint Allardyce as manager then Everton will get taken over and they will promptly sack him.

Actually, the reason is quite simple, Goodison Park. Solve the Goodison Park conundrum and we will find a buyer.
 

Dear Mr Elstone,

What sort of off-road mountain bike do you use in your job as Everton's CEO?
 
sirblue57 said:
so your saying, the only problem is GP?
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No, I'm saying one of the main problems is GP. Investors don't invest in football grounds of our size. Other issues could relate to the current demographics of the catchment area, that we have a noisy neighbor who the press love to wank over. But you'd need to be a billionaire to re-build GP unless you were borrowing to build.
 
the ground, well yes i understand that, but the rest, no, im sorry. they are not valid reasons for me, apart from the ground ,other teams have gotten investment with more demanding neighbours than us. and im sure someoe could do a better job of the ground conundrum than the current board.
 
Lids, small point. Not all takeovers are good takeovers, particularly if you're trying to point score with West Ham or Portsmouth like.

I want the club to be took over by someone with money, so at least our manager has some money to spend, but not to some moody type who'll rape us.
 

dear bobby dazzler ... aka robert quagmire.

giggity giggity goo !
when are you gonna start rebuilding goodison stand by stand ?
giggity !
 
Dear Robert,

I know I haven't written in a while. I received your last letter, and I'm glad you want me to be blunt, because I don't know how else to say this. I'm in love with another man. Not that I know it's the right thing to do, but he's the one I want to be with. I remember the burning spiritual revelation I received about you, but I just can't wait another year. I can't handle being alone any longer. Don't think this has anything to do with you, it doesn't. You're amazing, as always. I know one day you will find the happiness you deserve. I will always love you.

Love,
peskyrobot
 
Hilga from Norway said:
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
[crowd cheers]
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
 

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