Grief is a terrible thing BR but believe me when I say it does get easier. Just give it time. There's no set rules for this as everyone is different.
What I would advise though is don't keep it bottled up. Even if it's just coming in here from time to time as you've done this morning.
Just keep on focusing on the little positives, like last night's rare good sleep. They'll start to add up. You'll see.
Cheers Barnfred! TBH since January 2017 things have been nightmarish. My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia and my sister and I looked after her at home and then in a nursing home before she died in 2022. Mrs BR was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2018, but following a mastectomy and chemo/radium thank God she has come through fine.
Then my daughter got engaged in Nov 2022 and my sister was so excited and looking forward to the wedding. Sadly in December, just a month later, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We got her to Wimbledon last July, a lifetime ambition, but after that she went down rapidly and passed in September.
I really miss her as we were very close and our daughter was devastated at losing her favourite Aunt.
Thanks for the kind words and thoughts, I know time will heal eventually, and my faith remains strong. St Paul wrote of being given a constant thorn that afflicted him all his life. I suppose this is my thorn at the moment and I take consolation in Paul's words 'it is when I am weak that I am strong'