Let's fix the team in 3 easy steps.

[Jamiednm]

1. Meet dodgy middle eastern government on Monday
2. Take them for a drink of Tuesday
3. Be making love to them by Wednesday

Boom! Ownership by a regressive, oil-rich, ISIS-supporting Middle East government will propel us to glory.

 

[tsubaki]

1. Garbutt instead of Martina
2. Davies instead of Schneiderlin
3. Domestos instead of Angry Birds

 

[Cels]

Step one: Find a girl to love
Step two: She falls in love with you
Step three: You kiss and hold her tightly

One for the older poster on here

 

[Jamiednm]

1. At the end of the season, replace Sam with a conglomerate of 3 managers from the top European leagues, to form a managerial dream team and hope that 3 different managerial approaches doesn’t muddy the waters. Implement their fresh ideas, even if they contradict each other. Our opposition will be even more flummoxed than our own team.

2. Sign players who are committed to the cause of earning as much money as they possibly can.

3. Employ a Russian mafia group to bribe match officials and threaten our opposition with physical violence.

 

[goodisonopheliac]

1. Put the ball in the other team's net.
2. Put the ball in the other team's net.
3. Put the ball in the other team's net.

 

[DanEFC92]

1. Sack big Sam on Monday
2. Sack big Sam on Tuesday
3. Sack big Sam on Wednesday

We have to sack him 3 times to make sure he’s really gone.

And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday.

We chilled on Sunday.

 

[matty1878]

SACK Sam allardayce

 

[Ollie d]

turn
back
time

Alright Cher, never knew you were an Evertonian...

 

[ADT]

1. get
2. rid
3. of cuco

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Usmanov In
Clone Dean, Ball and Southall
Play a 0-2-3-2-3 formation

 

[Charlie Sweet]

1. Play a dead exotic formation only ever seen on FIFA.
2. Loan out young players. All of them. Apparently BFS will only hurt them according to experts on here.
3. Mourn longingly that foreign players that are excrement are that excrement that they can't even get in a team that's not playing great football. Resolve this by playing them and loudly declare to everyone how ace they are, despite the fact their total excrementness is now on full display.

#MEGA

Or...

1. Tell Elstone to pick up phone to Allardyce and invite him in for an urgent meeting

2. Tell Elstone to explain to Sam it's been a bit of a mistake, get him to hand Mr Chunky a few million pounds cheque and wish him a safe onward journey

3. Tell the press that we're looking for new manager that wants to actually play footy

 

[Marius57]

One - cut a hole in a box
Two - put your junk in that box
Three - make her open the box

And that's the way you do it

(I hope someone gets the reference)

 

[degsy]

1,Identify people who can draw up a five year development plan;
2, Go out and get those people, sack the ones we have; and
3, Draw up and implement 5 year development plan.

Really should have been 5 step plan but the thread is the thread.

There's your trouble right there - we have nobody who CAN I dentify the proper people...If they were already competant enough they would have the brains to realise they are hiring their own replacements - which they then will not do.
#deathspiral

 

[Charles Hawtrey]

Step 1 - sack BFS and his cronies
Step 2 - Hire a manager with a reputation for playing football
Step 3 - Play football, not hoof ball

 

[Caolam]

There's your trouble right there - we have nobody who CAN I dentify the proper people...If they were already competant enough they would have the brains to realise they are hiring their own replacements - which they then will not do.
#deathspiral

A nail firmly struck about the head