Jokes Thread

[BITTER TWISTED & BLUE]

Challenged my mrs earlier to tell me something that would make me both happy and sad at the same time, she gave it a minute before replying “you’ve got a bigger knob than your brother”

Any chance you could have mis-heard?

 

[canuckblue]

There was this castle supposedly very haunted. Tour guides advised guests to bring cameras just in case as one of the ghosts was said to be very photogenic, when it rarely appeared.
One couple is taking a tour when lo and behold, the ghost appears right in front of them, smiling. The husband fumbles with his phone and tries to get a few shots off, to little avail. The ghost shrugs its shoulders and vanishes as the couple blame the bad lighting.
In truth, the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

Did he then stab you and rob your bag ???

Nah, he shagged him.