Jokes Thread

[Joey66]

@Joey66 you have a rival here...

I am staying up till dawn putting Everton photos on or is it dusk..... lol
I should be on Thyme & a half ........

 

[Joey66]

I've been sacked from Scotland Yard's canteen for wasting police thyme.

Be careful the police don't tag you........ how did that work out by the way?

 

[Paris]

Someone called Tetris tried to add me as a friend on Facebook.

I blocked him.

 

[blueloon]

I met my wife on a speed-dating evening. I was a bit surprised because I thought she was at home looking after the kids.

 

[Paris]

SpaceX has reported a suspicious item of luggage on one of their rockets.

A case is being launched.

 

[ushuduup]

SpaceX has reported a suspicious item of luggage on one of their rockets.

A case is being launched.

Reminded me of:


"Mystery as 20 toilets stolen from Scotland Yard: Police have nothing to go on"

 

[Kurt.]

Reminded me of:


"Mystery as 20 toilets stolen from Scotland Yard: Police have nothing to go on"

Almost as bad the local jehova Kingdom Hall got broken into last night ..... the police are looking for witnesses

 

[canuckblue]

Almost as bad the local jehova Kingdom Hall got broken into last night ..... the police are looking for witnesses

I was once asked if I wanted to be a Jehovah's Witness. Said I couldn't as I hadn't seen the accident.

 

[Bishop Thumpety-Thump]

Had to think of a password with eight characters for my new laptop. I've gone for Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

 

[Bishop Thumpety-Thump]

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

If anybody wants a list of all the famous Bugs Bunny quotes.... ....I can send it to you as a WhatsApp doc.....

 

[blueloon]

Teacher : “ Billy , can you give me a sentence with “ contagious” in it ?”

Billy : “ At the start of the coronavirus pandemic Boris Johnson should have acted quickly and decisively, instead the contagious. “

 

[Kurt.]

Teacher : “ Billy , can you give me a sentence with “ contagious” in it ?”

Billy : “ At the start of the coronavirus pandemic Boris Johnson should have acted quickly and decisively, instead, it took the contagious. “

Fixed for you x

 

[Paris]

I went to a job interview dressed as Lassie

But they said I was too colliefied.

 

[Kurt.]

I went to a job interview dressed as Lassie

But they said I was too colliefied.

This is supposed to be a joke thread