Jokes Thread

[mumwasablue]

Liverpool 1960 an advertising company wanted The Magnificent 7 to market a new aftershave.
Only 6 turned up Yul never wore cologne.

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Bit late but.
Q: What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
A: Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

And for the grandad joke book.


Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!

 

[larbert toffee]

Woman Golfer phones texts partner who also plays golf and coaches her 'Played awful today didn't help I was stung by a wasp' reply text 'Whereabouts?' - ' Between holes one and two' - 'Well that's the problem, your legs were too far apart'.............

 

[canuckblue]

A blonde is taking golf lessons and is uncertain how to grip the club.
"Just hold it as you would your boyfriend's penis," the pro suggests. She does and promptly proceeds to drive the ball 250 yards.
"Very impressive," the pro says, "but I recommend using your hands next time."

 

[anjelikaferrett]

 

[Raindog]

A blonde is taking golf lessons and is uncertain how to grip the club.
"Just hold it as you would your boyfriend's penis," the pro suggests. She does and promptly proceeds to drive the ball 250 yards.
"Very impressive," the pro says, "but I recommend using your hands next time."

Not one to pick apart a joke, but...

If she was better with her orifice (I'm guessing it's one of them for the sake of the joke ) why would the coach get her to change to her hands?

Unless he was Marco Silva, like.

 

[canuckblue]

Not one to pick apart a joke, but...

If she was better with her orifice (I'm guessing it's one of them for the sake of the joke ) why would the coach get her to change to her hands?

Unless he was Marco Silva, like.

Jesus, you must be an absolute riot at parties....

 

[Raindog]

Jesus, you must be an absolute riot at parties....

Going by your jokes, I think I'll be swerving any parties you're at

 

[canuckblue]

Going by your jokes, I think I'll be swerving any parties you're at

Thank Buddha for small miracles.

 

[allezlesbleus]

Touchè

Touché!!!!!!!

 

[peteblue]

View attachment 75652

Brilliant......

 

[summerisle]

 

[Sadken]

A priest sees an image of Jesus in a tub of margarine, he said.....I can't believe it's not buddah

 

[IllinoisBlue]

Took the kids to the zoo over Christmas. It sucked! All they had was one dog. It was a Shizu.

 

[bigbadjeff]

Never let Sean Connery teach your dog to sit.