Jokes Thread

[summerisle]

Life was so simple before I got married.
I had absolutely no idea that there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.

 

[goodisonopheliac]

Two cows are in a field. One says, "Have you heard about this Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says, "Well it's not going to affect me, I'm a tractor."

 

[chrissyjack]

I wanted to go and see Bohemian Rhapsody, but....

THEY WOULD NOT LET ME GO!!!!

 

[canuckblue]

Why don't blind people skydive?





































Scares the hell out of the dog.

 

[evertony]

Enya’s next three fixtures:

Sale (a)

Sale (a)

Sale (a)

Plagiarism

 

[ijjysmith]

Plagiarism

Tone?!

 

[The binman chronicles]

Tone?!

I wouldn't be too upset, he was just looking for enyathing to start on you.

 

[ijjysmith]

I wouldn't be too upset, he was just looking for enyathing to start on you.

My god

 

[AndyC]

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down....


Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

 

[Blue Piper]

Monday: Greg
Tuesday; Ian
Wednesday: Greg
Thursday: Greg
Friday:Greg
Saturday:Greg
Sunday:Ian

A Gregorian calendar

 

[Seathestars]

Learn to speak Irish, say it quick.

Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked

 

[toffeemax]

 

[Westend Blue]

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a doctor?

A: An Octomertrist

 

[duncs pigeon]

Boy. 'do want to hear a joke about my d**k?'
Girl . No
Boy ' never mind, its too long'
Girl ' do you want to hear a joke about my p***y?'
Boy. no
Girl. 'never mind, you wont get it'

 

[summerisle]