January 2015 transfer window ( No GIFs allowed )(Nor fish puns ffs)

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bluegirl said:
swapping Mirallas for Lennon is like swapping Messi for Lambert - absolutely not.
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I'm afraid we can only function with a relationship analogy:

Mirallas is like that pyar nice bird who you've been seeing for a while. You weren't sure at first, 'cause she's foreign and had a touch of snide about her, but she's seemed genuinely into you for years and, despite being ambitious, hasn't ever been looking around. And it's not like she's too good for you - no, deffo not - but sometimes you have to admit you've looked a bit out of shape recently, while on a random night out she can look like a full on supermodel. And then there's what happened the other night, when she took your Scarface dvd out of the player to put her Jade Goody aerobics on (why's she trying to so good these days?? you can't help thinking), leaving Pacino on the floor to get all scratched up. Why didn't she just put it back in the case like normal? What does it mean?

And now people reckon she's interested in that Cockney coke dealer who recently binned off his bird. He never has and never will be any better than you, but his ma gives him pocket money that he used to get juiced up at David Lloyds, and some people find that attractive. And now his bird (Lennon), who's the same age but has been around for years, has been eyeballing you full on. People used to think she was pretty fit but you've always known deep down she was a bad starfish with no sense of humour. You know you should swerve it all, but things have been weird lately.
 
caught said:
I'm afraid we can only function with a relationship analogy:

Mirallas is like that pyar nice bird who you've been seeing for a while. You weren't sure at first, 'cause she's foreign and had a touch of snide about her, but she's seemed genuinely into you for years and, despite being ambitious, hasn't ever been looking around. And it's not like she's too good for you - no, deffo not - but sometimes you have to admit you've looked a bit out of shape recently, while on a random night out she can look like a full on supermodel. And then there's what happened the other night, when she took your Scarface dvd out of the player to put her Jade Goody aerobics on (why's she trying to so good these days?? you can't help thinking), leaving Pacino on the floor to get all scratched up. Why didn't she just put it back in the case like normal? What does it mean?

And now people reckon she's interested in that Cockney coke dealer who recently binned off his bird. He never has and never will be any better than you, but his ma gives him pocket money that he used to get juiced up at David Lloyds, and some people find that attractive. And now his bird (Lennon), who's the same age but has been around for years, has been eyeballing you full on. People used to think she was pretty fit but you've always known deep down she was a bad starfish with no sense of humour. You know you should swerve it all, but things have been weird lately.
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Absolutely fantastic analogy and very detailed. 9/10.
 
caught. I can't help but feel you have relationship issues, even your name is a clue.
That analogy wasn't about Everton at all , was it ?
You can tell us , we are all friends here.
 
caught said:
I'm afraid we can only function with a relationship analogy:

Mirallas is like that pyar nice bird who you've been seeing for a while. You weren't sure at first, 'cause she's foreign and had a touch of snide about her, but she's seemed genuinely into you for years and, despite being ambitious, hasn't ever been looking around. And it's not like she's too good for you - no, deffo not - but sometimes you have to admit you've looked a bit out of shape recently, while on a random night out she can look like a full on supermodel. And then there's what happened the other night, when she took your Scarface dvd out of the player to put her Jade Goody aerobics on (why's she trying to so good these days?? you can't help thinking), leaving Pacino on the floor to get all scratched up. Why didn't she just put it back in the case like normal? What does it mean?

And now people reckon she's interested in that Cockney coke dealer who recently binned off his bird. He never has and never will be any better than you, but his ma gives him pocket money that he used to get juiced up at David Lloyds, and some people find that attractive. And now his bird (Lennon), who's the same age but has been around for years, has been eyeballing you full on. People used to think she was pretty fit but you've always known deep down she was a bad starfish with no sense of humour. You know you should swerve it all, but things have been weird lately.
Click to expand...


.....erm, I just don't think we are playing very well.
 
caught said:
I'm afraid we can only function with a relationship analogy:

Mirallas is like that pyar nice bird who you've been seeing for a while. You weren't sure at first, 'cause she's foreign and had a touch of snide about her, but she's seemed genuinely into you for years and, despite being ambitious, hasn't ever been looking around. And it's not like she's too good for you - no, deffo not - but sometimes you have to admit you've looked a bit out of shape recently, while on a random night out she can look like a full on supermodel. And then there's what happened the other night, when she took your Scarface dvd out of the player to put her Jade Goody aerobics on (why's she trying to so good these days?? you can't help thinking), leaving Pacino on the floor to get all scratched up. Why didn't she just put it back in the case like normal? What does it mean?

And now people reckon she's interested in that Cockney coke dealer who recently binned off his bird. He never has and never will be any better than you, but his ma gives him pocket money that he used to get juiced up at David Lloyds, and some people find that attractive. And now his bird (Lennon), who's the same age but has been around for years, has been eyeballing you full on. People used to think she was pretty fit but you've always known deep down she was a bad starfish with no sense of humour. You know you should swerve it all, but things have been weird lately.
Click to expand...

Pure class this mate, made my day
 
This has probably been posted before but I am proper buzzing over these comments from Marto - he absolutely loves these "soon to return" players but fails to remember just how often we get injuries. 3 will come back then another 2 will get crocked.

--

“We’ll find out one way or another whether Samuel is part of Everton going forward, and we’ll announce it when that time comes but apart from that I’ll be very surprised if there’s any major changes.”

Martinez admitted there were unlikely to be any arrivals at Everton in the January transfer window.

“The players that we have out injured are going to be back very very soon and what I want to see is continuity and I want to see a strong squad coming out and showing how strong we can be in the second half of the season.”
 
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