Give me a reason/excuse to put in for a half day off work ?

[Simo]

Tell them you're still waiting for the VAR referral from the Tuesday night game, and its due (today) this arvo

 

[Yarrgh]

Just put your coat on your chair and say you're in a meeting until 6. Why take a half day. Do this once a week and you've doubled your holiday allowance.

 

[ClausThomsen]

Send them the pic of @tommye missing finger and say you're going to A&E to get it sorted.

You may have to cut off a chunk of your own finger to maintain the lie though. Or say it grew back / aren't modern prosthetics marvellous.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

You can't be arsed.

 

[Rita_Poon]

Tell em you thought it was Saturday and rushed in after dinner when you realised. Only because you'd worked so hard all week anyhow and had done a full five days worth of work so it was plausible.

 

[DanB90]

Looking for a reason to put in for a half day off work tomorrow? Not sure I can be honest when I want to go racing.

Honestly, just say you have an appointment, they don’t usually ask.

Fella I worked with years ago done it and came in the next day with a sleeve tattoo.

 

[anton66]

5h1t your pants, then they'll have to let you go home.

Explain in fantastic detail the anal bleaching procedure you have at half past 1 that you just can't be late for and how it will be at least a few hours.

Before or after?

 

[sam17]

Toothache, can come and go at any point, and everyone knows how painful and uncomfortable it can be.

 

[Alan Whittle]

You're retiring at the end of the season and your success until then is guaranteed. Just need to check your stocks of "special juice" for the afternoon.

 

[Alan Whittle]

Before or after?

During.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Before or after?

During.

Correct answer.

 

[Noisy noise annoys]

5h1t your pants, then they'll have to let you go home.

WINS

 

[Noisy noise annoys]

I've told this story elsewhere but that happened in my building. no idea who it was, but what a mess.

When I was first with my (now) wife we went to visit some of her family friends for lunch . I blarted my pants, big time and snuck off. About twenty minutes later they came looking for me and I was in the bath - they were like why the eff are you having a bath in my house, we've never met you and its 1 in the after noon.

I had to come clean

 

[Moomin]

Going for an AIDS test.

 

[Buckers]

Sorry to hear that mate, hope you’re ok x

5th time.